Just wondering if I'm not doing the right thing on dates?

[Backtolife14]

I've been watching the 'Love is blind ' show, where they seem to fall in love on the spot and have some immediate Disney-style spark.
I've had 2 dates with someone and honestly not sure they were even dates, looking back.
Date 1, I was a little nervous, sensed he was too. We had great conversation, wasn't 100% sure about him but there were no lulls at all, I enjoyed being in his company a lot. We were there for about 2 hours.
He didn't flirt as such, neither did I.
Date 2, we were there for almost 5 hours. No flirting from him, but I noticed at times when I was sitting close to him and looking at him he was almost shaking, got a little twitchy.
Really good conversation, emotional stuff. I saw him looking at me for quite a while at one point.
There was kinda teasing/banter but that's all.
That's it though, it kinda faded afterwards. It doesn't matter now, just feel like I'm giving a friend vibe on dates.
That said, I got nothing from him either. I know men can be shy, and it should be mutual. I didn't feel like I should touch his arm or anything.
Maybe they were never dates, and we're just friends? Sounds pathetic but I just don't know how to make things more date -like and flirt more openly?

I asked him for 'date' 1, he asked for the second.

Most people don’t experience the Hollywood thunderbolts and lightening first date connection. It’s nonsense.

If you weren’t sure with either of your dates whether you were actually on a date or not then I’d imagine that you were giving off those signals. You don’t need to be in someone’s lap and kissing them, but by date 2, conveying your understanding that there’s some sexual / romantic interest is important. “Teasing” and “banter” often comes across as the opposite of that: it’s generally what we do with our good friends who we know won’t be offended by our silliness.

It sounds as though you were both fairly shy and looking for some indication from the other that they were interested, neither of you got it, and neither of you wanted to potentially embarrass yourself by asking so each just let it fade. If you want to resurrect this one then you need to be a bit forward and make it known you were interested and not just on a friendly basis.

Yes that makes sense :) I guess the problem is when you get nothing from the other person then you're reluctant to be more forward. Both of these dates were with the same guy.
Sounds daft but I don't even know how to portray such interest! I complimented him a couple of times which just made him seem shy, he returned the compliment on one occasion but otherwise I literally got nothing from him, apart from the very odd teasing sort of comment.
I'll try to work on things for next time!

Firstly as much as I love watching love is blind I do not believe for one second they love each other.

date wise I’m a shy person on dates and I wouldn’t initiate a kiss or anything like that, if a guy doesn’t try then it won’t happen. There was only one I went on and we’ve ended up quite close now but both in complicated relationship situations now so not seeing each other anymore, but he was also so shy. I really liked him and I knew he wouldn’t do anything so I forced myself to be uncomfortable and initiated a kiss as we said bye after a stupidly long hug 🤣 after that it was great haha but he didn’t know how I felt towards him. We laugh about it now as comfortable in each others company about how shy we were with each other. So what I’m saying is maybe push outside your comfort zone if you like them, touch their arm etc if they like you it will be reciprocated and then they will also know how you feel too. Or the worst thing is he doesn’t like you back and you know where you stand

The thing is, how many people do you like in ordinary life and how many of those people do you fancy? It's an inexplicable thing and not that easy to come by, really.

It wouldn't be a very interesting programme if nothing happened, I'd assume it's heavily directed.

I fancied him, I like many people but I honestly don't think there are many I could talk to pretty much daily and then spend hours alone with, maybe others could do that with many people though without the slightest interest though, who knows .

He sounds quite shy himself from what you've said, so he might not even respond well to full on flirting and be put off. You are who you are and that's the person you want your date to like.

I'd be inclined to message him something along the lines of: 'really enjoyed myself, do you fancy another date?'. Messages are great to clarify things without being too full on in person. Once things are cleared up, he might loosen up too.

We are who we are.