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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dick pics on Partners phone

40 replies

Theyreallthesame · 27/02/2024 03:25

I was right next to my partner as he got me to look at something on his phone, we were out with friends. As I was flicking through, I somehow got his photos up, of which there were some dick pics from 2 months ago. It's his dick.

He was turned Away when they came up and I was so shocked I gave him back his phone and we went home shortly after.

He knew something was up so I told him to get his photos up on his phone so we can look through them.

He did so where I couldnt see initially. Then very obviously deleted said photos, and tried to tell me he doesn't know what's wrong.

He's a crap liar so his game was over in less than a minute.

The fact he tried to cover it up amd tell me he didnt know what i was talking about has pissed me off more than the pictures.

As background he's insecure of the size of his manhood and puts himself down alot. It's smaller than average, but I've never made an issue of it and we've had a good sex life.
He sometimes gets a bit of ed. He's had a much more sheltered sex life than me, and can be quite shy talking about that stuff.

Anyway, he then tried to tell me its not like he's cheated. I told him that makes him sound guilty.

He tried to say he was embarrassed, so that's why he deleted them.

But if he was that embarrassed why not delete them in the first place.

The only other pics I saw in the brief moment were of semi naked women, one which was screenshot yesterday, so I'm guessing they're pics he looks at on his own iykwim. The others are dated before the dick pics. They're very tame tbf. Famous celebs, posed type thing.

So, is it unreasonable to think these dick pics have been sent to others, or is it as he says, he forgot they were there / doesn't know why he took them, he just did.

We've been together almost 8 months. He's Been very kind, generous, loving, supportive always listened if somethings bothered me and never tried to Gaslight me about anything before.

OP posts:
ButWhatAboutTheBees · 27/02/2024 09:20

You talk about his insecurities around his dick

Which gives me reason to believe its down to that. He deleted them and lied because he's embarrassed and insecure and didn't want to talk about something he is insecure about

Maybe he's put them on Reddit, maybe it was for personal reference, maybe it was for an online consultation about medication for ED. He just didn't delete them then (I have various random pics I could have deleted but it just never occurs to me to do so)

It's not really gaslighting, just lying. Gaslighting is a far more prolonged campaign of making people question their own reality, make their friends and family question their sanity etc. Using gaslighting because of a little lie is disingenuous and problematic in its own right

MillshakePickle · 27/02/2024 11:37

I just don't think a man would take pics (more than one is my understanding) and have them on there for himself. GPs and doctors don't want private pics like that either. You describe online forms and if they need to see the genitals in question- they make you an in person appt.

I'd get out or have it out before ypu get more invested. A small dick doesn't excuse it.

This sounds like someone I use to know. And, he had a whole hidden folder of his dick including videos and of random women who had been with or had been chatting to.

EBearhug · 27/02/2024 12:43

I just don't think a man would take pics (more than one is my understanding) and have them on there for himself.

I can easily imagine that a man worried about his size would take pics from different angles, in different states of tumescence, on different days to see if things are improving or not over time, whether it's better after a warm bath or if a cold morning is really bad, etc...

ShatParp · 26/07/2024 00:41

@EBearhug
Tumescence!!! 🤣🤣🤣

OP, I have taken weird body pics before to check nothing looked odd...but I would then fess up if questioned and laugh about it!! If that's what he's doing, do you really want a partner who can't be honest and be able to laugh about it?

Bunnyasmyname · 26/07/2024 03:00

I would hope in the 5 months since OP posted this, she has sorted it out, @ShatParp

Bangwam1 · 26/07/2024 03:42

He is sending dick pics to women, sorry. Get out now whilst you can, these type of men don’t improve.

Theyreallthesame · 26/07/2024 10:05

Yes you were all right. He was sending them to women. I found the proof 6 weeks later.

OP posts:
CandidOliveCat · 25/11/2024 16:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Onlycoffee · 25/11/2024 16:27

Theyreallthesame · 27/02/2024 03:50

None of women he knows.

But surely if he deleted his pics he would have also deleted any other incriminating pics, and just left the celebs in case you saw something and he could just say it was those photos?

I don't know, seems a bit off to me.

Oreyt · 25/11/2024 17:28

@Onlycoffee

She updated in July.

Onlycoffee · 25/11/2024 20:56

Oreyt · 25/11/2024 17:28

@Onlycoffee

She updated in July.

So sorry! I've often seen old threads revivalised and wondered how it happens, people like me, now I know 😅

cherish123 · 25/11/2024 21:13

I think I'd dump him. He's a relatively new boyfriend. I'd move on.

SnowLeopard5 · 25/11/2024 21:21

It's not right is it. Someone would only take those pictures to send to someone and it's weird he's so insecure about his size. If you're both happy with each other and have a healthy sex life then surely he wouldn't care.

SnowLeopard5 · 25/11/2024 21:22

Just seen the update.

The13thFairy · 26/11/2024 09:57

You've known him for eight months and you have elevated him to the position of partner already? Surely you and he are just getting to know each other? And you certainly are getting to know him now!

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