Life is just miserable atm isn't it?

[Bellyache99]

Lone parent. In family courts. Abuser now has access to DS. Skint all the time as everything is so expensive. Bike stolen last week. Son has health issues he can't get an appointment for for months after a year of waiting already because of NHS backlogs. And the list goes on. I just don't enjoy life. Other than my son I don't see the point in it. It is just shit after more shit and don't see it getting better anytime soon. Can anyone talk me out of this funk? Just want to cry or scream.

Life really can be shit. The only thing that is guaranteed is that everything is temporary. Things WILL change, so there’s a high chance that at some point, life won’t feel shit.

It doesn't feel very temporary

Do you have any social support? Friends and family?

Am with you OP, have a list of problems that I can’t see a way out of, sorry you feel so down, it’s soul destroying

Yes lots. I love spending time with them. Then I go home and feel lonely and sad again.

That all sounds reallt tough OP, I'm sorry you're having such a crap time. I'm not in the best place either at the moment (for different reasons to you), and it's so hard to see the wood for the trees when you feel down. I hope things look up for you soon

Lone parent also and at the moment I agree. I try to remember that anything could happen to change up life, but atm everything in the past while that has has been negative

I just don't know what I can do to change it.

Sorry to hear it OP. I'm in an ok phase right now (but last Monday I went back to bed for a good cry after dropping kids to school) and I try to notice and appreciate the days when I feel a bit stronger. I found the support of Women's Aid extremely useful and have done a few of their courses. It's helping me find myself again, and I feel stronger when I do have to deal with my ex.

Really worried about money right now. And I wish I had someone to just take on all my responsibilities for just a few hours. I feel like everything is on verge of being out of control and I can't afford to take a step back.
I know it won't be forever but it certainly feels it right now. All we can do is show love and grace for ourselves and hope we make it out the other side.

Yes it is but only you can change that. Its very hard as I have been through rock bottom times but you must always be grateful and keep trying for your son sake.
Things are temporary

I'm really sorry, life sounds miserable at the moment for you.

One thing I've found helpful, although it sounds really trite, is to write down 3 things I'm grateful for at bedtime. These are often really trivial - today's will be that I saw a robin and a blue tit in the garden at my bird feeder, that my teenage son hugged me and said, 'Love you, Mum' and that I got a new book out of the library.

They don't have to be massive, but studies show that focus on gratitude does cheer you up. And just look at the little things in life you can be pleased about. If you look at the big picture it's often gloomy and overwhelming. Just focus on the tiny stuff in the present.

Life is hard for some of us and worse for others but look at the good things.
I got a washing machine to day i feel like ive won lotto but i didnt pay for it LWA did.
If i have a bad day i always tell myself ive had worse days than this.
Im grateful for everything every day.
When things get tough i think ive been given another challenge.
But the sun is still gonna rise tomorrow no matter what.
No matter how tough things are now there is always someone worse off.
And life does get better trust it will better.

I second the gratitude approach - positive thinking can be extremely powerful. So can negative thinking - negativity breeds negativity.

Think of things you are grateful for, how lucky you are to have certain people in your life for example. You may not have much money but try to view it from a different angle - can you afford a roof over your head and to put food on the table?

Try to feel excited about what may lie ahead in the future for you - there are many positive things to come your way.

Appreciate the small things - snuggles on the sofa with your son, time with close friends, a tv show that you love to binge watch. What can you do for yourself that will make you feel more in control? Can you set yourself small tasks and tick them off the list?

Sending positive thoughts your way…

Also agree about positive thoughts. I went through a time when I stopped watching or listening to the news because it was so anxiety inducing. I wasn't going to allow that depressing stuff pollute my head space any more so I ended up listening to 70s and 80s music instead and it really improved my mood. Hang in there.

Yep, absolutely true 👍

Regarding your son's health issues and NHS apt delays, write to your MP.

"You understand the pressures of the NHS and are experiencing them personally as your ds's quality of life is being impacted and it is particularly unfair for a child of x years. Can your MP please tell you what they are doing personally to change the situation locally and nationally.

It is just so unfair on your ds who really needs some clinical support. Is there anything your MP can do to help please."

Cc it to the CEO of the NHS Trust.

If you send it by email, you have an audit trail and save £1.93 on the cost of a stamp.

I am sorry things are grim right now and hope they get better soon.

How are you doing, @Bellyache99? I hope things are better now. How is your DS?