To be annoyed with book club and need advice!

[TeaAndBrie]

I go to a local book club, it’s run at a local cake shop after hours by the owner and her daughter (grown up).
we have been doing this for about a year and there are normally 8-10 people attend.

One of the attendees always ends up going off topic and he always ends up talking about film versions instead of the book and then about tv and then actors completely unrelated. It’s getting really tiring.
Has anyone attended an enjoyable book club and can make some suggestions that I could politely bring up to try and make it more focused?

The one I go to is, yes. It isn't for talking about fluff. We also don't have any 'junk' books, chick lit, anything like that.

There should be rules! Everyone must finish the book! No talking about the film/TV adaptation if possible.
In the one book club I was a member we were all female and did only female writers. I think I astonished the group at my first time they made me start (bit mean of them actually), so I discussed the lead character and their growth and the issues I had with some plot points. I don't think they'd analysed a book in quite that in depth and I'd never been to a club so didn't know the form.
But they did like what I said and we had some good discussions about what we'd read.
It's fine to go to general chat but 75-80% should be about the book.

I’m in a book club with one member who did this, it was my first time attending about a year ago and I blurted out “I don’t want to come to a book club where we can’t even discuss the book properly because someone hasn’t finished it!”

Everyone then chimed in that actually they agreed with me. Turns out she did it frequently but nobody had the balls to call her out and tell her it was tough luck.

I don’t think she likes me.

As to your problem OP, the lady who runs my book club usually brings a set of questions along to prompt discussion and the last question is usually “would you/have you watched the film”, but I guess it’s going to take a strong character to cut this guy off from blathering on only about what he wants to talk about.

Could you introduce 'prompts in a pot'. So think of some generic questions, eg:

'did the plot work for you'
'what was your favourite part of the book'
'what was unsuccessful?'
'Who was your favourite character and why.'
Would you read any more by this author?'

write them on pieces of paper and put them in a pot/cup and then pass the cup round. You have to talk a little about what you have pulled out. (You could even have the question 'who would you cast in the film version' if you wanted to give a little nod to the film lovers!)

That way the evening is more focused and the discussion is more structured. And everyone gets a turn to say something, rather than listen to film bore.

You can use the prompts for any book. You don't have to do them the whole session but if it's getting a bit off track you could introduce them.

^cross post!

I’ve always liked the idea of a book club but never joined one for this reason.

So take this as an outsiders view.

Can you suggest some ground rules along with some more stringent moderation from the leader as others have suggested. Then maybe a group moderation tactic. Such as members being able to give a phrase that indicates something has veered off topic for too long.

That last one is hard to explain… I’m thinking of more formal meetings run by robert’s rules of order where anyone can say ‘point of order’ for a rule infraction and that allows the chair to get back in front. Or in a way less formal setting at my extended family’s dinner table if a couple brought in an argument they were having to the conversation someone would shout ‘domestic’ and the couple knew to change subjects. The second was half lighthearted but also a good reminder and nudge that nobody else cared that one of the couple always leaves their socks on the bathroom floor.

I was in a book club that met in a pub, all women and one man. The man used to love the sound of his own voice and seemed to think we were all fascinated by his lengthy opinions and tales of the bands he liked and car stuff. A few of us ended up creating our own book club instead and not inviting him...

Also be blunt…

“Bob… we’re talking about the book not the film. Betty, in chapter 3 did you catch the line “blah blah blah” what did you think of it at the time and did your opinion change?”

May be worth suggesting that everyone gets a brief turn to offer their thoughts first, before the discussion expands to more general chat.

That prevents the discussion being completely hi-jjacked and diverted but also allows space for wider discussion.

I value hearing people's individual responses and having a chance to share mine. There's nothing more frustrating than having a particular thing to say that doesn't 'come up' in a more conversational style discussion - or the conversation moves on before you get a chance to contribute your point.

You seem to be making heavy weather of it.

I can see how it's annoying.

But can you not interject when he starts rabbiting on about the film and say 'Hey, John, let's talk about the book as film versions are always different'.

Or if there is a 'leader' they could ask that the chat is focused on the book and any films of it are discussed at the end of your discussion?

It shouldn't be that hard to control one person who's hijacking the discussion- just tell him!

Yes, there should be rules. Our book club talks about other stuff before the book (holidays etc) and afterwards. Tell Brian that he can talk about the film at the end. when everyone has said what they want to say about the book.

Why should they have to do this? Just steer the topic away from, or say 'can we not discuss' the film when it's brought up. Job done.

Why are people so afraid of being direct? What do you think will happen?

Some books have 'book club questions' at the end and these can facilitate the discussion.

TBH all it needs is the organiser to say right at the start, 'Let's talk about the book then at the end if anyone wants to discuss a film version we can do so then.'

Well yes, can you say 'hang on Bob, let's give everyone who's read the book a chance to have their say before we get into that'.

Precisely.

You all seem a bit scared of Bob (or whatever he's called.)

Either interject, when he does it, or someone tells him right at the start of the meeting.

'We'll discuss the book, then any film versions later on.'

Not hard.

Gosh you seem to be taking it a bit too seriously! I go to a book club well wine club really and we chat about the book, go off tangent a bit. Then come back a bit. Nobody minds if someone hasn’t read the book and no one really objects to the ending being discussed. Chill your beans!