Was this chatting up?/how should I have reacted??

[Anastasia2]

So I probably sound like a silly teen here. When in fact I'm a late 30s recently separated single woman who's just come out of an awful marriage where my ex left me with shreds of confidence. Hence this awkward post 😅
So I'm avid gym goer. My routine is usually gym workout, then into the spa..sometimes a.class fiest or swim.then spa like many of the fellow DL members.
So just the other day, I walk into the sauna and could see a guy hang back behind me so I didn't close the door behind me as I knew there was someone else about to come in..I hopped on the upper bench and the guy walks in, looks right at me and says "hey I didn't see you up there" I was really confused bu this statement thinking he meant because I was on the upper bench and it was dark? So I just smiled. And then I was like "sorry where do you mean?" And he replied "up in the gym. I always see you working out there"

Now I better mention this said guy was totally fit and totally my type..I should also mention my ex was awfully paranoid and used to put me down all the time or make me.believe men were looking at me.. I think for this reason I'm.very awkward with men and its worried me now being single as I really don't know how ill date someone new. This was totally unexpected although maybe it wasn't chatting up?
Anyway I laughed and said "oh not sure if that's a good or bad thing"
And he replied with "so what was it today?legs?" I again appeared nervous/awkward and said "yeah I've done legs today"
And then suddenly silence. Awkward silence..there was another person in the sauna as well so I'm not sure if that's why he stopped talking or because of my awkward disposition. He left after about 5 minutes... and iv been kicking myself ever since as I really feel I should have chatted to him or not been so awkwardly shy. It's just made me realise that I'm really going to struggle to move on.
What do you suggest? And would.this have been classed as someone showing interest? Or am I just wishful thinking? Seems ridiculous to ask but my confidence is shattered from my past relationship and I was with my ex hubby so long.
What can I have done/said differently?

T.I.A

Yes it does seem like he was interested, in either a friendly or flirty way.

Next time you see him try to chat to him more, good luck with it!

Ex sound horrible.

All I would have done differently was a 'how about you?' to keep the conversation going (if you wanted to keep it going). Next time you see him give him a direct smile and say hi, then if he's open for a chat make sure you ask questions/respond with something open.

i did think of that after he left. I just feel so awkward..I feel stupid even asking but how on earth do I talk to mèn after being in such a soul destroying relationship.

You're being far too hard on yourself. Next time you see this man, walk over to say hello and ask how his day has been. I'll keep my fingers crossed that something lovely comes about.

Please try to rise above all of the stupid shit your ex-husband spewed out of his mouth. It was nothing but lies coming from his own insecurities. He's pathetic.

Good on him for shutting up - that seems like a green flag to me. You didn't carry on the conversation so he didn't persist - it hopefully means he has decent social skills and knows how to pick up cues.

In your shoes I'd give him a smile next time and say 'Legs again today!' or 'arm day!' see what he says and then go from there.

Thank you for the kind message.
I do overthink alot..the funny thing is me and friends has just recently discussed how bad the dating world has become as men now feel.they can't chat up women without being labelled as sleazy or sexist so really didn't expect someone to casually start making convo.
I feel like he's gonna be hard to recognise 😂 he looked an average white British fitness guy, muscles and average height, dark.hair..there's a few like that but hopefully if I start looking instead of keeping my head down (a trait my ex told me.i had to do or I'd attract male attention) hopefully I'll bump into him again

I think he was being polite and making conversation because of the environment.

Maybe he was chatting you up, maybe he was just being friendly, doesn't matter to start with. He was looking for a connection and you are allowed to have a chat with a man.

Its been a long time now but I was always tremendously thick and didn't notice if someone was flirting with me, it just didn't occur to me that they would 😆.

Head up lovely, make eye contact and smile. Someone who is worth the effort will make conversation and it'll become more clear if they're interested when they ask if you're free for coffee after!

(Try not to give ex headspace. Sounds like he spouted a lot of bollocks)

I think that was all fine! Next time smile and nod at him and maybe you can have a longer chat. You don’t want too much too soon and you’re right that if there are other people around in the gym/sauna it can get a bit awkward.

I would think the same. I've had similar conversations with men and not thought anything of it.

I'd just smile and say hello when I saw him next.

That's why I had to ask on here. It only threw me when he said he always sees me up in the gym meaning he's noticed me and then made a point of saying so. On that particular day I'd been to a class instead of the gym bit.

Could be flirting, could be friendly, either way it's a good sign.

Next time you see him, make an effort to start an exchange, maybe something like

"Hi, again, I'm doing shoulders today (laugh), my technique is rubbish though, so don't laugh if you see me mess it up (big smile)"

If he's interested in you, he now has the perfect excuse to approach and "give you some tips", wait and see what he does.

Good luck.

It's scary out there!

That's brill advice thank you..I just feel like I'm so socially awkward/don't know how to act with men. I think a lot of men can be out off when they see you're shy/awkward/nervous? Feel so out of it lol