To refuse to cook low carb meals for DH

[AhBiscuits]

I do the cooking. We're both happy with this arrangement, DH does more than his share of other household chores.

From time to time DH will decide he needs to go on a health kick. He's not overweight but still wants to lose a few lbs. He'll ask me to give him smaller portions and ask me to give him no carbs. Often this is fine and I can just give him more meat and vegetables, but once or twice a week I might make a pasta dish and there really isn't a low carb option. I'd have to make him something else. I would do this except that every evening, without fail, he will snack on bread and butter, crackers or sweets. I bought a giant bag of fizzy gummy worms last week and he has eaten all of them over the course of a week. I'm not putting myself out making a special meal, even though cooking is my chore, for him to just eat loads of carbs anyway. He says at least he would be having fewer if he wasn't having them at dinner too. I just think it's a waste of time, eat proper dinners and stop eating loads of shit in the evening.

Unfortunately that pasta meal ends up as a pile of pure sugar the bloodstream anyway if the carbs it contains aren’t used up as energy.

But the OP is quite prepared to be supportive, just not if he's going to snack and eat sweets all evening. Its not the same as you.

I love how this became mainly dieting tips and philosophies for the husband. And ways for op to facilitate her husbands weightloss and how she should also diet. All without really asking.

Buy 4 of those large broccoli heads each shop. Then blend and they turn into rice.

serve him that every. Single. Time as his carb replacement

I agree it’s such a faff going low carb but he really is not going to get into ketosis by eating his sweets etc infact his approach is quite bad because low carb diets can be quite high fat (lots of cals) and combined with high sugar snacks it’s pointless

This is easy - just give him whatever pasta sauce you were making over the top of a big plate of steamed cabbage or broccoli. You can even steam it over the pasta water. Keep the windows open after though!

What would your advice to her be then?

Just 'yes you are being reasonable'?

It's not about facilitating the weight loss, per se, it's about how to make her life easier.

I have some sympathy @AhBiscuits - cooking is my job and DH is always muttering about wanting to eat more healthily but I’ll find he’s munched his way through an entire block of cheese and crackers in snacks.

I have one incredibly fussy DC who eats like a sparrow and one who has a tendency to over eat. Between the three of them I absolutely despair!

DH works late quite often so I try to keep the pasta dinners etc for days I know he is out.

Only read your posts - so apologies if anyone has already suggested that there are low carb noodles available. Bare Naked and Eat Water come up on google. Waitrose do lentil noodles, carbonne do low carb noodles.

You can still do pasta dishes. Edit for poor typing.

Now I want a bag of fizzy worms. But I also agree with you.

I laughed when I realised the size of bag of gummy worms you mean. I’m surprised they lasted more than one sitting.

I was referring to what the previous poster who suggested the brown rice and wholemeal pasta suggested...
You could also serve up a huge slice of bread and butter with each of DH low carb meals

Courgette spirals for him and spagetti for you with bolognese sauce.

I agree with you OP. He is absolutely taking the mick. I would prepared to adapt our meals if he was serious but even then I wouldn't expect the rest of the family to forgo pasta just because I'm low carbing (and I say that as a diabetic who needs to watch their carb intake- I do not forgo my DH carbs).

He can sort himself out and maybe once he's shown he's serious, you would be more willing to adapt from him.

No one who is serious about low carb eats fizzy worms - they would be something like 85 to 90g of carbs per 100g, significantly higher than pasta.

As a T1 diabetic who tracks my blood sugar religiously, I can sometimes get away with a small portion of pasta - it doesn't have to be a 'bad' food, I just try and eat wholemeal pasta and watch my portion size. On the other hand, a pack of fizzy worms every night- Id probably have blood sugar through the roof and be in serious bloody trouble. You are not wrong to question his commitment to 'low carb'.

My husband is on a no carb diet that is absolutely pointless if you break it.

It does wind me up when he will try to veto pasta etc, but he doesn't snack on sweets, and he does go to the effort to work my carbs into meals he cooks, so I can't massively complain.

My advice earlier was he cooks his own meals on those days, participates to meal planning, some ready made meals I the freezer he can take, I'd the sauce is separate then make some veggies with that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Some of the advice here is good and relevant to the topic but then around page 4 it became a weightloss debate thread.

Agreed. Poor OP has to not only manage her own weight loss programme, she has to manage her idiot husband too, who clearly does not do low carb properly but uses OP’s meals as a sop for his guilt.

Doesn’t sound as though DH understand the low carb diet properly as there is absolutely no point eating lo carb meals and topping that off with sweets and bread.

To your question - if he was absolutely dedicated, I’d want to support him and make low carb meals, or have the grilled chicken salad/omelette alternative in the fridge. I follow the same diet as your husband. My DH (cooks at weekends. 50% of time) always tries to accommodate me, but I will equally suggest they have a family curry/pizza and I miss out if I can see they have a yen. But then I’ve lost nearly 4 stone, so have been very committed, and DH is invested in my getting healthy again.

Given your DH is not really following it properly, I’d refuse but tell him there are eggs in the fridge…

You are completely reasonable to say it's pointless making him a special no-carb/ low carb meal if he scoffs sweets etc later on.

But it would be reasonable to say to him 'On Tuesday I'm doing pasta, so maybe plan what you want instead.'

And give him some warning.

It shouldn't be beyond him to either eat what you're eating, but a lower-carb version of it (in my house we sometimes have gluten-free pasta and wheat pasta on the go at the same time) or for him to have a list of the meals he wants when it's a past night.

As Pps have said, this could be eggs, or something simple like a salmon or chicken fillet on the grill, or baked, with a salad.

Almost zero prep and healthy.

Sorry but I like looking after my DH. He's a great dad and provider and it's one way I show him I love and support him. I would and do cook for him regardless. He doesn't judge me so why would I judge him?

@pam290358 pasta also contains protein and will probably be served with veg etc, can't compare that to gummy worms.

He’s made you responsible for his diet and eating OP, you are not his mother. He’s absolved himself of responsibility and put it all on you! I bet he even blames you for the fizzy worm sweets!!

My DP tried to do the same, taking me along with him to his
appointment with the local practice nurse when he was registered with them as being pre-diabetic. When she told him he needed to lose some weight, he turned to me and said “Right, you need to cook less and serve me smaller portions!”

The nurse didn’t hesitate in putting him right and telling him that he is responsible for his own eating and is quite capable of stopping when he has had sufficient!

Just cook him some low carb black bean pasta noodles on your pasta nights … eating those is punishment enough for anyone.

OP didn't say he was doing keto or trying to get into ketosis.

Obviously you are right he won't lose weight if he eats sweets/crackers, but I do think you should support him by cooking low carb meals. Pasta and sauce is v high carb. Just like he should take account of your preferences/choices when he's doing other jobs like shopping, gardening or DIY.

No, wasn’t trying to !! My DH is type 2 and it really annoys me when he goes on carb hunts !!