Dealing with friends online relationship

[Polly345]

My friend has just told me about a man she has met on the internet.
As he lives several hundred miles away she hasn't met him in person as yet.
Today she told me she plans to travel to visit him in September this year.
Apparently he is due to be promoted in April and he is unable to travel to meet her.
Everything about this situation makes me uneasy. She had kept him a secret until just recently even though they had been talking online for over a year.
I mentioned that she should be careful, especially when she travels to meet him.
She brushed that off and said she plans to stay at his home and will have her mobile with her. I said that wasn't what I meant, she should give details of at least the area. I don't think she was pleased at this.
Should I just leave her to it or should I try and find more information about this man. It all sounds odd to me. If he was keen to meet, why wait longer than necessary.
I don't want to seem a spoilsport, I'm just concerned for her welfare and possibly her safety

i can understand your concern, but yeh good thing is that there is still 6:7 months until September so things should
become much clearer before she plans to go

Think you are right to be concerned. I don’t think a promotion in April is good enough reason for the delay in visiting one another before September. It’s six months away, and allegedly they’ve been talking for a year already! Surely they could manage to coordinate a couple of days break and a return coach fare for one of them to see the other?

Distinctly weird. I would keep chatting to her sbout him and gather as much info as you can. He may be a scammer.

Very dodgy. I’d be concerned too. Can you have a chat with her about red flags to look out for re catfishing?

”Its probably totally fine but please follow these guidelines - don’t send any money or bank details, hold back a bit until you’ve had a chance to verify what’s he’s saying” ?

Sounds dodgy but you can't live this for her, there is warning once so saying your peace and controlling yourself

Make it is clear what you think then you need to step back

Grown adults need to learn to make their own mistakes, people can't live it for them

Good advice. Keep the lines of communication open. It sounds strange.

Please tell me they have exchanged video calls by now at least?

I don't think they have!
That was another concern of mine.
I think they have spoke via mobile.

Oh dear, he's probably in the SAS and a neurosurgeon in his spare time too.

Just keep talking to her about it and try to get her to agree to give you his address.