To feel a bit put out? Annoyed?

[MaybeM]

This is so childish but it's really annoyed me and I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable or if it's time to just move on from the friendship.

This is probably outing but whatever.

(We're both early 30s with kids)

I've been close friends with a woman for about 3 years and every few months she'll complain about her husband etc and when she's in an argument with him (he lied, cheated, joined dating websites etc he was kind of an asshole) then she relies heavily on me and that's fine I was there for her, replied to every message, did things with her whatever what are friends for.

In October she broke up with him and again relied heavily on me, messaged me all day everyday for months on end even when I was on holiday and again I was there for her but looking back I realised it was all about her and her problems in the all three years, if I messaged her with a problem she'd gloss over it and bring the conversation back to her but I just thought she was going through a lot and was there for her.

All through this period she was posting on SM saying how I'm her best friend and always there etc.

In December she messaged me saying she wanted to go to an event in March as it's around her birthday so I paid for the tickets as a birthday gift.

In January she got back with her husband, great they sorted things out whatever but she stopped messaging me so I took a step back and messaged her every now and then but was still here like we've mothers and stuff and we're busy so I didn't think it was a big deal.

She messaged me a week ago saying she can't go to the event now as she's suffering with her mental health and doesn't think she'll cope which okay, people struggle sometimes and it happens.

Except she posted a few days later on her story asking for suggestions on what to do on the day and wants it to include cocktails - I felt a bit put out but thought it's her birthday and she can do what she likes and it's not personal but now she's posting she's going to an event with some girls over the weekend so I guess it's only the event she was coming to with me, that's causing problems..

Is the friendship over? Should I just bite the bullet and let it go?

I know it's really dramatic but I just needed to vent a little bit.

Urgh

Find someone else to take and super distance yourself and don't be her emotional support crutch ever again.

You sound lovely
She sounds like a user.
You deserve better friends than her!

It’s not dramatic, that’s horrible behaviour. She must know you’d see it. Honestly, I would tell her you've seen it and you’re hurt she’s chosen this other thing over your thing. Then finish the friendship. She sounds like a user.

I would end the friendship. It sounds like she won't notice anyway, until her husband messes up again anyway. When that happens, ignore her.

That's shitty behaviour. You're not unreasonable to be hurt by that.

Can you take anyone else to the event with you?

One of my best friends was getting married and two weeks before the wedding day her fiance shagged his ex-wife.

I was the only person she told. I didn't even slag him off! Nor did I tell her not to marry him. Anyway, our relationship never recovered. I think that she is super aware that I know that he shagged his ex and he k owes that I know.

Oh that’s horrible of her, can someone else go to the event with you? I’d distance yourself from her going forwards, that’s no way to treat a friend, I’d be upset too.

She's a user. She uses people to make herself feel good. Utterly selfish.
If you can use the tickets for yourself then great otherwise sell them on and move out of the friendship ( which it isn't.)

You have my sympathies.

She’s a user twat and skank.

Looks like you’ve finally woken up to her true colours.

Block and delete the twat.

My mums gonna come with me so I did sort it out and in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal but I do feel hurt.

It's annoying because I think if I spoke to her about it she'd say I'm jealous because she's going out with other friends etc and that's really not the case it's just I'm wondering why it's only this event causing her MH problems, I mean it might be and she has a genuine reason but it's coming across differently when posting all about the other events and drinking you're gonna do instead.

I'd say it's because I'm the only one who knows about her husband but she posted it all over social media and now she's back with him she's posting how he's the one and you know the script so maybe she's trying to save face and I'm just not needed anymore?

I don't know, it just kinda sucks.

Please stop being her free counsellor.

Why do you think you deserve so little
from a friend?

There are lots of people like this unfortunately, I have one in my family so have had to put up boundaries to stop myself getting hurt 🌺