Next week i have an appointment to have my smear test. It was due in September so I am months late having it done which is adding to my anxiety. Also, I have had awful experiences having smears done (hence the delay booking). I know for most women it’s a quick and painless procedure. Well not for me unfortunately!
On top of that, I have a lumpy area in my boob and have been having some pain in that area. I checked and there is a new lump that has formed there. I’ll be honest, I don’t check my breasts as much as I should because it causes me so much anxiety due to the lumpy area so I don’t know how new or old this lump is.
Im so worried, but on top of that, I’m having some sort of existential crisis and feeling this wave of panic coming over me every time I let my mind drift onto the subject. Worrying about how finite our time is here. Worrying about leaving my children motherless. I’m spiralling.
I already take sertraline for anxiety, which is usually very effective. The worst thing is though, these worries are a reality. One day I will not be here and that absolutely terrifies me!
I know this is a bit deep, but I’m hoping someone can offer me some advice on how to overcome all of this as I’m struggling.