Getting my hard hat on here but I need some advice. Basically, I’m an alcoholic. I know that, and so does my husband.
We have 2 kids together.
I don’t drink during the day, but I drink a minimum of 2 bottles of wine most evenings. If the kids aren’t here (sleeping at grandparents for example) that can increase considerably.
I can do a day or two without anything but that’s my limit.
I’ve always had trouble with my mental health, I had a particularly shitty childhood, and have attempted suicide multiple times.
I’m awaiting an assessment for ASD due to the above and also as my mother is autistic, so are my kids. They’re only looking at this now for me after a lifetime of being on anti depressants and multiple self harm/suicide situations.
My husband doesn’t have any issues along any of these lines. He’s a good, hard working man, a great dad and honestly in every way but this one is really supportive.
But this is what I don’t understand. He’s often making noise about how much I drink. He’s worried for me, my health, how much i spend.
I wake all night anyway despite the alcohol so if the kids wake up I’m usually up regardless but he will do it too if he hears them, he doesn’t shirk onto me.
In the past I’ve managed to not drink for weeks at a time, and we talk about it so it’s not like he doesn’t know that I’m trying not to but then he’ll go out and get beer and bring to the house and drink in front of me. He barely drinks the rest of the time so I don’t understand why he does it, and then I end up doing it too.
In the past he’s also expressed worry for me but as soon as I express worry for myself because of how much I’m drinking he tells me I’m being over the top, two bottles of wine a day is hardly ‘rock n roll territory’ and im being a drama queen.
Just this week I drank 4 bottles of wine in one day (kids were sleeping out at grandparents) and whilst drunk I self referred to a local program to help alcoholics/drug addicts. I really don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life and I’m trying and have been trying so hard to stop.
Anyway they called me after I filled in the forms and questioned me on how much I was drinking, and I was honest. They then went on to say if I’m experiencing shakes/sweats or other withdrawal symptoms etc to have a small
drink of alcohol and sip it slowly otherwise I could be at risk of cardiac arrest. When I talked to him about this he literally laughed in my face and told me how ridiculous the advice was, I don’t drink nearly enough to be at risk of this happening and he just keeps minimising my situation on one hand and making it out to be massive deal on the other.
He used to be obsessed with proper rock n roll shit and I wonder if he has some skewed idea of what an addict is and doesn’t think for whatever reason that I fit the criteria or if he’s trying to sabotage me for reasons I don’t understand. Does any of this make sense to anyone else?