To think people are getting scruffier?

[HomeIsHardToFind]

I am currently house hunting, I have been in a lot of properties recently and to be honest I have been shocked by the state of them!
They look fine in the estate agents photos but when you get there it's a different story.....plates and bowls piled up in the sink, crumbs all over work surfaces, disgusting ovens and urine stains/smells in the loo!
My 'favourite' was the house that had holes punched in the doors of every room (double checked the agents pics and they definitely didn't exist at the time they were taken!).
I get it, I can clean if we bought the house etc, but if you are selling your biggest asset and you want the most amount of money possible surely you make it look the best it can for viewings? I feel like I've stepped into an alternative universe at the moment!
I have also noticed that many more people out and about stink. Not just a bit of a pong or like they have a manual job and haven't showered for 24 hours but full on makes me dry heave absolutely stink!!
I put some fuel in the car this morning and the 'gentleman' that came into the garage as I was leaving smelled rancid, it must have been days and days since he had washed🤢 I could smell him outside in the fresh air!
Maybe I'm getting on (I don't think so, only early 40's!!) but I seem to remember people having more pride in themselves, their home and their families (don't get me started on some of the poor kids I've seen with such greasy hair it looks like it's been stuck to their head with chip oil☹️).
Sometimes I wonder if its COL biting but then I think about people I've known that grew up in the 60's and 70's that were dirt poor taking pride in how clean their mothers managed to keep them with nothing but soap and hot water, so I think the only difference is that the pride has gone?
Has anyone else noticed this or am I just unluckily surrounded by scruffy buggers?!

Possibly outing myself as IRL friends know this. We bought a house that when viewed had college son shagging his teen girlfriend middle of day parents out of work, full condom two foot from threshold, it smelt of sex when opened bedroom door and they sort of shouted busy from under a duvet. Second viewing they asked would we mind not seeing that room as he was mortified. We never saw the room properly and after buying found holes in walls, back in of door and sockets didn’t work. Never worked out if a scam.

I haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if anyone has already said this, but covid has been found to cause hormone imbalances, as well as causing body odour and sweating.

Things were different in the 60s and 70s. Generally a mother stayed home. Now you have people really financially struggling, with both parents working full time jobs, people are exhausted and have little money. Not to mention the huge increase in chronic fatigue since the pandemic. People are ill, poor, overworked and exhausted. It's no longer home standards are dropping.

I was born in 1956 and my Mum worked full-time all her life except for two years when I was born. When I look back, I cannot remember any of my friends whose Mum did not work.

There was a textile mill in the village where I grew up and most of the workforce were women, working full-time and almost all of them married. My Mum always cleaned her front door step and put like a white stripe along the front edge (cannot remember what it was called) and so did most of the neighbours - it has simply never occurred to me to do the same.

Sorry but as someone who works, raises children and manages to keep a home in reasonable condition on her own, I just think this is laziness. I can be lazy too, but I don't pretend it is the structure of modern society that means I cannot do something. I can. It's just I may choose not to.

You don't think someone who is home all day has more time to clean than someone who works full time 5 days a week?

Lots of people work full time and still manage to keep a house clean. Sure, a sahp might have more time to do it (depending on the age of her dc), but having a ft job doesn't render a person incapable of maintaining basic standards.

I do. My point is that I manage to do this and work five days a week. Modern life has a lot of convenience to it! Give over people saying it's hard. It always was.

I understand people saying depression, or otherwise not being arsed to do it, but saying you actually need someone to do the cleaning or management of an average house... no.

For goodness sake, you’d think we were all down the mines. Most of us are perfectly capable of working, raising kids and keeping our homes and selves clean and tidy,

I think col and COVID did a number on people and I've noticed more scruffy people about. I don't buy it though. You can still be clean.

But with houses I saw some shockers 20 years ago. I get that not everyone makes sure it's immaculate but I've been in houses where they couldn't be arsed to empty ashtrays, open the curtains, put stuff in a cupboard.

With me and mine it's pride.

True, if anything it was harder back in the day because they didn't have washing machines, Hoover's etc and had to do everything manually

I am more than happy to work and pay tax for the healthcare system and for education but not for people to have a few kids and then sit about on benefits. How about the government makes the fathers of these kids start paying for them?

I totally agree with your last point

For goodness sake, you’d think we were all down the mines. Most of us are perfectly capable of working, raising kids and keeping our homes and selves clean and tidy

I've been like that most of the time, but when I was burnt out from stress, depressed and exhausted, I had to write myself a to do list including a few things I had already done, and breaking down tasks like doing the laundry into tiny baby steps so I could manage it. I remember doing dinner for DDs, only something like jacket potato and beans and each step feeling like swimming through treacle and counting the minutes until I could sit down again. So I do get it (I think).

Of course it doesn't render someone incapable of maintaining basic standards. But you have a lot less time to do it all in was the point.

And I wasn't necessarily referring to just the baby years either, my gran was a housewife well after her children were grown, my own mother only ever worked part time until well after I no longer needed a SAHP.

Sure someone could come home at 6pm after being in work all day and then spend all night cleaning, but the liklihood is, unless you never want to have any down time, it's often not going to be to the standard of someone who's at home all day, sometimes with no kids to look after either.

Also I try not to get into that working class "you must donkey stone your doorstep, you slattern" mentality. No I don't have the standards my grandmother had, but I have had the benefit of staying much longer in education, a well paid upper middle class professional career and am the main earner. We can cope with a bit of dust, we are basically pretty organised and things get done when they get done.

Exactly. Contemporary people, including myself, typically have time to spend huge amounts of time on social media, to watch TV etc, to be on mumsnet. These are undoubtedly many many more pleasurable things to do nowadays than clean and lots of people make exactly that choice. But it is a choice. I could spend the time I spend on mumsnet cleaning and I'd have a much cleaner and tidier house. There's not some massive late capitalist conspiracy preventing me from doing so.

You must live in a nice bit, where I am this is all really accurate

I think it takes a lot of effort to keep a home imacculate. I have to Hoover the kitchen daily and every single ray of sunlight seems to shine upon new scuffmarks stains and dirt.

‘mum has never had a tumble dryer and lives in rainy Wales, but looks at the weather forecast and hangs her washing out to dry all year round. Obviously she has to sometimes dry things indoors but mainly hangs them out.’

I am very surprised to hear that Wales is dry enough to keep washing hanging outside most days of the year. I would not do that daily and I live in London, which is one of the drier and warmer places!

’I don’t know anyone who doesn’t bathe / shower daily’

Not targeting you, but this kind of comment fascinates me on Mumsnet. How do people know how often all the people they know bathe or shower? I feel the same way when people talk about finances or day-to-day habits.

I just about know what my mum and sister do and maybe one or two friends. But on the whole I have no idea how often all my friends, extended family, colleagues, people I know through school etc wash? Do people actually talk about this stuff to all and sundry?!

Fair point! I don’t suppose I do know for sure, other than with some friends and family. But they are a pretty mixed bunch of people from different backgrounds and upbringing, so as a varied sample of people they do all bathe every day, so I will admit there’s an amount of presumption from me there. I really don’t know anyone who washes in whatever way every two or three days.

She doesn't do clothes washing daily, watches the weather forecast like a hawk to see when the weather will be suitable. There are enough dry days year round, you just have to plan when you'll do washing. She's been doing it 70 years so has got it to a fine art.

yes exactly get the fathers to start paying for these kids rather than the taxpayers.

Have RTFT now and my feeling is that standards have changed. I was at the airport last week and was completely shocked at how other travellers looked. Sure lots of comfy clothes, but just sloppy. Men in joggers without wearing underpants. Women in super crop tops and just really inappropriate clothing. Flip flops on the plane. Scruffy, really dirty looking worn clothing. Greasy hair and not great grooming. People sitting beside me on the plane really stunk, like they hadn't showered after getting up that morning.

I don't expect people to get dressed up for flying, like it's a special occasion, and I do get wanting to be yourself etc... but do make somewhat of an effort when you are in public.

These are people who can afford to travel so clearly have some money and probably not that depressed as off on holiday, but still just can't / don't try.