Am I too sensitive for forums?

[DistingusedSocialCommentator]

Please do not laugh/mock etc.
I feel down at times but generally ok as retired early, no real money worries but many worries re family health in mine, but we have all been there or dealing with it

It was sunny this morning and we get a mass of sun into the house as we have those glass panels for a wall south-facing. But getting grey now feeling down and OH about to bring in breakfast, lol, yes we eat it late.

I always click the thanks or post a 'thanks' where I have started a thread and people have tried to help/help. I've noted that some topics can be upsetting for OP and they are very worried and forget to thank posters as they have a lot on. I get that. What I don't get is where some OP's post a thread about nothing to great you give them the answer/help as have others and they come back with other stuff and can't be bothered to say a simple "thanks even once. FM like that put me off

AIBU to feel like this? (FYI, its not ll of the time but certain days and today is one of them)

There is now a thanks option button under each post and only the person who made the post can see the "thanks" I think. Perhaps people are using that option?

@DistingusedSocialCommentator I’ve said you are being unreasonable- and yes maybe you are too sensitive right now. Other people are not you. Other people have very full, hectic, stressful lives. They might post a question and forget or not return for ages. They might have other stuff. Kindly, it’s not about you…

I do think that is a bit over sensitive, sorry.

I would expect an OP to come back and engage with a thread. It’s annoying when they just start a thread and abandon it. But I find it a bit off on threads where the OP quotes, responds to, or thanks every person who comments.

Is it possible you are feeling a bit down and disconnected from people? Meant with kindness, a forum is not going to fill that gap for you. It may sound trite, but real life hobbies where you get to see people and talk IRL would be better.

Sorry, I forgot about that. But, just a plain simple post to all.

Yes,w e are all different

Yes you’re being unreasonable and maybe need some more positive activities or elements in your life? I don’t mean that in a snarky way, you sound stressed by health stuff and maybe a bit bored and/or obsessing over nothingy things like this?

It’s nice but I don’t get upset if they don’t.

I think that it upsetting you is more a reflection of how you’re feeling - when you’re feeling low you need that sense of contact and validation more. If you’re feeling better in yourself it doesn’t register (as much). I’d take it as a sign that you’re feeling a bit fragile and be kind to yourself by taking a break from SM for a day or two.

I could not care less is I give someone banal advice about whether they should put up a fence before the sell their house and they don't say thanks.

I read MN threads like conversations.

If I said to someone at work

'I'm selling my house, do you think I should put up a fence?' and they said

'yes, I do. I think you should erect a three foot trellis' I'd say and I'd think

'hmmm, interesting. I wonder how much trellis is' or 'I'd like it higher as next door are getting a dog'

I would not say or think 'thank you Susan'

I think people use forums in a different way and for me I read the posts like conversations.

Thank you all, just read posts had a heavy meal.
I have also thanked everyone personally.

I am a bit too sensitive and noted this.

I will not be contributing to this thread but will read any new comments,

Thanks

I'm not keen on thread titles which seem demanding, rather than requesting, even when unintended eg 'Give me ideas for'. It happens a lot so I assume it's unintended.

Definitely too sensitive.

If I contribute to a thread, it's because I want to give my opinion or suggestion. It isn't because I want people to thank me.

I don't even use the thanks option button either.

No

It's just a chat forum, nothing special. Nobody owes anything

Totally agree with this. Don't take it personally

I've had to come back, sorry.

The ones that said, "they owe you nothing" Very true but I post as I live in real life/world. In my world we all say sorry/thinks/hi/bye - I know this is "just a forum" but it is how I felt

As I said before, I am too sensitive but do appreciate all comments and have thanked everyone, personally as well.

These sites are huge with some threads having hundreds of post up to the one thousand limit

NOBODY is thanking people individually and neither should they! You sound waaaay too sensitive

To be fair, the thanks button was only introduced a while ago, it's not like Twitter likes where it's a much more embedded feature. I usually forget it's there. Even still, I would very rarely thank a post and don't care if someone thanks mine.

Sorry, but I sort of feel like if you're looking for or anticipating likes/ thanks it's a bit needy or looking for validation or something. You might post the same as you would in real life, but many people don't treat 'online' the same as real life interactions - I certainly don't, you are all strangers to me.

I see MN as a place to kill some time, get a few tips, some mild entertainment. I would recommend not investing too much energy or emotion into it.

I’m your age demograph, forums are not like real life at all plus we were raised in a more formal way probably, I certainly was. MN is actually very polite for a forum.

In my world we all say sorry/thinks/hi/bye

I think MN is relatively polite.

I don't particularly want to read messages from posters thanking one another. And I definitely do not want people who are already under pressure to feel as if they have to return to a thread and be grateful for any replies.

You have not said hello of goodbye on any of your posts on this thread.

Or thank you.

Yes, I think you probably are a bit too sensitive for forums if you expect every OP who receives advice to personally thank every poster.

Also, what if there's a mix of advice, or opinions, some of which the OP find helpful, some of which they don't? Some of which were a bit snarky? Have they still got to thank everyone?

So you want everyone to use the 'thanks' button?

I use the app so I've never even seen the buttons so I wouldn't know who had thanked me.

When I used Facebook I didn't use the like button either. Ur all seems a bit contrived. I like to use words on a talk forum. I wouldn't 'thumbs up' someone who I was talking to in real life.

Maybe a forum isn't a good fit for you - especially a big one like MN. You might find something like a small group WhatsApp Chat or small Facebook group to be better?

When I post on forums like this one I am "talking"to the OP of the thread but I also try to write with a general audience in mind as I think people tend to lurk and not post too. I have found over the years you don't always get a reply. That's totally fine with me and it's not always practical to say thank you to every single respondent. It's nice when you get one but it's not the reason that I post.

I'm on the app. There isn't a thanks button.

Definitely not the etiquette on forums to be thanking every poster - as someone else said, thanking individual posters would just clog up the threads with stuff no one is interested in reading.

@SaltySoo put it very well.

I've posted before asking for advice or suggestions. I've then done a "thanks everyone" and the more people come on and offer more advice. Do I then go back again and do another thanks? Which also pushes the otherwise dying thread back up in to active, thus triggering more comments and a need for another "thanks" post... It could go on forever!

I find it quite wearing if people say sorry all of the time.

You don't need to apologise for having an opinion or for joining in on a discussion.