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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your daily routine is to maintain yourself?

37 replies

inneedofaglowup · 25/02/2024 11:46

Straight into it. If you're well invested in your self care routine and you do it consistently, what do you do? What's your skincare, workout, body, health, hair, food routine?

I want to push myself and be high maintenance. Yes it sounds a bit full of yourself but I have never pushed myself to be the absolute best version of me and I feel everyone should get that feeling at least once in their life and now after 3 kids, a great husband, getting to a great point in my career, I feel it's my time!

OP posts:
inneedofaglowup · 25/02/2024 16:35

Alwaystransforming · 25/02/2024 12:16

Sorry mine is a long one. Its worked for me. But might not for other people. I really ignored looking after myself when my mum died a few years ago. For about 2 years I had enough energy to maintain my job, look after the kids and keep up to the house (ish). I just kept getting more and more depressed. Then, last autumn I had enough. I felt like my body was slowly shutting down. Nothing made me happy. So I decided to start with one thing at a time. I just added things that brought me joy.

The first thing I did was decorate my living room to make it feel cosy and somewhere I felt relaxed and happy.

Then I set myself a bedtime routine. Which including tidying the kitchen so it was nice in the morning, getting clothes out for the next day, having a shower etc. I wfh and I was so bad at some points I couldn’t face showering even though I felt better afterwards. I promised myself I would do that for a minimum of a month. I had to be really disciplined and force myself to do it. I started feeling better. Then I worked on getting better quality sleep.

So I started taking care of myself by doing things that brought me joy. Since this I have implemented a proper morning and night skin care routine. Got a dressing table that looks pretty. Got myself nice, matching pjs, bought myself clothes I enjoy wearing and made me feel dressed up. I started getting my hair done again.

Every Sunday I have a routine of doing things that help me during the week. Make sure all the clothes are washed and accessible so no rushed mornings. Give the kitchen a deeper clean, do the bathroom, I have a long shower, do a full body scrub, shave my armpits and legs, do my eyebrows, blow dry my hair, catch up on work email and set any replies to go out Monday morning (that way I am going into Monday morning calmer, but no one who works for me will feel compelled to answer while they are on a day off), put a face mask on and pamper myself and watch something in TV. The kids join in if they are there. Dd is 19 and at uni and the ‘do things that bring you joy’ has helped her, she struggled with my mum death and juggling uni and work and was neglecting herself. Ds is 13 and he loves our Sunday evening pamper and TV.

I added some supplements in as I know I wasn’t eating well. But I am dropping them off as I start to eat better.

The latest thing I have done is started getting hello fresh. It’s actually working out cheaper than the whole food shop. I get it for the days I am in the office and left overs are for my lunch in the office the next day.

I have lost 2 stone in 3 months. I did this as I found the weekly shop and meal planning quite overwhelming. I would cook ds something, but would snack on crap for myself instead. With Hello fresh ds and I cook together, he is trying more foods, but the portion control has really helped. Because I am having a good meal I don’t feel the need to snack on crap.

I am slowly getting better, not quite there yet. But lots better. At some point I will stop hello fresh, when I feel I can meal plan properly. Right now it’s not where my focus is.

I am still devastated by losing my mum. But I am also living rather than existing. It’s actually helped in other areas. Since I started looking after myself my career has come in leaps and bounds. I have had 2 pay rises and one promotion. I plan to use some of the excess money to keep bringing joy to our lives.

I hope time allows you to heal and be in a better place. It is hard to lose someone so close to you. X

OP posts:
ZiggyZowie · 25/02/2024 16:51

inneedofaglowup · 25/02/2024 16:33

That's a real long time to go without washing.

Yes it makes me sound dirty.
Problem is I have very dry frizzy hair which looks better hardly washed and is easier to style.
My skin is extremely dry,flaky and showering or bathing makes my arms and legs all prickly,even on cool water and special sensitive soap.
So I find that a washcloth at the sink for my neck,face,underarms etc works for me
avoiding legs and arms, I wash clothes regularly, wear clean ones every 3 days ,wear deodorant and perfume,and lipstick.
Oh, and I do my teeth twice a day and visit dentist .

WhoaJayShettybambalam · 25/02/2024 17:08

@Alwaystransforming I love your post. Sorry about your mum.

@inneedofaglowup mine is mostly basic showers, skin care, occasional face masks, hair cut and dye, hand creams and cuticle care etc but I focus on how I feel inside so I work out 4-5 times a week (weights and sometimes Pilates or yoga). I walk a lot and make getting fresh air a priority! I meditate.
I have recently had my nails, eyebrows and eyelashes done but although they looked really nice I’m not sure if I could be bothered with the upkeep!

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 25/02/2024 17:10

Don't bother spending hundreds on skincare with weird ingredients, just do Botox. Yes, it's expensive but that's because it actually works.

MsCactus · 25/02/2024 18:01

ZiggyZowie · 25/02/2024 16:51

Yes it makes me sound dirty.
Problem is I have very dry frizzy hair which looks better hardly washed and is easier to style.
My skin is extremely dry,flaky and showering or bathing makes my arms and legs all prickly,even on cool water and special sensitive soap.
So I find that a washcloth at the sink for my neck,face,underarms etc works for me
avoiding legs and arms, I wash clothes regularly, wear clean ones every 3 days ,wear deodorant and perfume,and lipstick.
Oh, and I do my teeth twice a day and visit dentist .

Honestly try Dermol 500 cream! It's a soap substitute and great for sensitive skin. No more horrible, prickly dry skin after a shower. Soap is too harsh for some people

Also my DH has curly hair and only washes his hair with conditioner, so I get the curly thing.

MsCactus · 25/02/2024 18:05

I wash and condition my hair (and shower) every morning. Then I style my fringe.

Wear a thick layer of SPF and have full makeup routine - eyeliner, mascara, concealer and blush. In the summer I dot some subtle freckles across the bridge of my nose and use bronzer to look sun kissed.

I wash & get my outfits ready every Sunday before work :)

I love spending time on how I look - makes me feel loads better ☀️

inneedofaglowup · 25/02/2024 18:07

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 25/02/2024 17:10

Don't bother spending hundreds on skincare with weird ingredients, just do Botox. Yes, it's expensive but that's because it actually works.

I hear this & agree with it. I don't have Botox yet but it is definitely something I will be doing in the future.

OP posts:
Bibblybumblebee · 25/02/2024 18:24

So I keep things really simple this way I stick to it

Hygiene/Skin care
Shower every day - use Dove beauty bar
Use Nivea soft on my face
Always remove make up before bed.

Hair
Wash every other day
Haircut 3/4 times a year
My hair is always clean and straightened

Make up
Keep it simple
foundation, concealer, blush, mascara
I get my eyebrows tinted

I also wear perfume every day - M&S do some lovely ones

I use anti aging hand cream

Nails
Nails kept clean and short
Have them ‘done’ for special occasions

Clothes
Always buy myself something every month
Choose clothes the night before

Food
Breakfast - overnight oats
Lunch- soup, salad or something on whole meal toast
Dinner- always have some kind of meat potato and veg

only snack on fruit

We only have a pudding on a Saturday night

I don’t to the gym but try and walk when I can

I don’t aim to be thin - I’m a healthy size and I actually look a lot younger than my best friend who has regular Botox

FinallyFeb · 25/02/2024 18:30

Hair cut every seven weeks, I do my own root colour every couple of weeks. Face wash twice a day and then use either day or night cream. Lots of hand cream before I go to sleep. Floss every day.

Botox twice a year, fillers once a year.

I always eat five a day and do different aqua aerobic classes per week followed by jacuzzi etc.

Goldmember · 25/02/2024 18:55

Morning skincare: cream cleanser with hot flannel, toner, serum, day cream, eye cream.
I brush my teeth whilst the serum is soaking in.

Dressed, Style hair and min make up on; concealer, lip gloss, baking powder foundation (I have oily skin), blusher. If in meetings that day, I'll put mascara, eye liner, nude eye shadow, brow pencil, lip liner and colour. Always a squirt of perfume.
It all takes less than 15mins from out of bed to ready.

Next is vitamins and other 💊. I take a load and not sure even if they work but hey ho: Magnesium, Vit D, collagen, ACV, cod liver oil, psyllium husk etc.

Lots of water throughout the day, I have a bottle by my bed, at my desk and downstairs to continually sip. Lip balm and hand cream I have in my desk, handbag and beside my bed to reapply throughout the day.

Gym at least 5 times a week, 25m weights and 25m cardio. On the days I don't go to the gym, I go for a long dog walk with Mum or my friend and we have a good catch up. Exercise and socalising.

Evening skincare is similar to morning, except for a night cream and heavier serum and eye cream. I generally do this around 7pm so I can just brush my teeth and go to bed at night.

Other appts:

  • hairdressers every 3 weeks for root touch up and blow dry.
  • nail tech every 3 weeks for acrylics
  • beautician every 7 weeks for LVL and HD brows (not big scouse brows)
  • waxer every 6 weeks for Hollywood wax
  • chiropodist every 8 weeks for luxury pedicure (I paint my toes myself)
  • massage every 6m or so when they do an offer.
  • baby botox every 9m

The list looks very high maintenance and it is becoming expensive to keep everything looking nice. It has slowly been added to over the last 5 years as my pay has increased (also my kids have gotten older so I have more time to spend on me). I try to save where I can and I've found amazingly skilled hair and beauty people at really reasonable prices. I'm happy using aldi and lidl skincare and maybelline make up.

Goldieremson · 25/02/2024 19:29

I don't agree someone saying they don't see them selves as high maintenance could also mean because it's not seen as a chore just something that comes naturally to them an there routine, someone who would think oh I can't be be bothered with all that would see it as high maintenance maybe, but ABIT of a rude comment I took it that way anyway for myself I don't have anyone looking after me if anything it's this high maintenance princess who looks after everyone else

Horses7 · 25/02/2024 19:42

Instead of a new car a couple of years back I got a dermatologist, I’ve spent quite a lot but to me it’s worth it and I also use the suggested skin care products and prescription creams. Pleased with results and it’s given my confidence a boost. I’m contemplating surgery - not quite brave enough, yet. I don’t tan my face but use tanning drops frequently.

I have always removed make up before bed (I always wear make up) and have a pretty good diet and take a range of supplements.
My hair is coloured and cut regularly. I have my nails/toes plus pedicure every 2/4 weeks.
I used to go to the gym but now exercise at home.
I drive an old car.

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