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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my friend to put a belly band on her dog?

24 replies

BellyBand · 25/02/2024 11:44

Close friend. She got a puppy 6 months ago and he's been a nightmare to toilet train.
I have dogs and last time she visited she didn't stay long as he was just cocking his leg everywhere and she sort of said 'were going to have to leave early because you won't stop peeing', I think expecting me to say 'no it's fine' but I didn't. It was stressing me out.

That led to my dogs peeing inside for a few days as they got mega confused about the strange male dog pee smell all over.

He's not visited since (months and we usually visit frequently) and has now been neutered to hopefully stop the marking, she's asked to visit with him again.

I don't mind her visiting with her dogs. I love dogs and I'd like to see them.

But AIBU to ask her if she brings him that he wear a belly band inside my house as he is still no further along in toilet training?
I don't mind buying it either. Only a few quid on amazon.

OP posts:
Amanitacae · 25/02/2024 11:45

It’s definitely ok to not accept a friends dog pee-ing in your house.

Blanketpolicy · 25/02/2024 11:46

No idea what a belly band is, but I would not have a dog that is not confidently housetrained in my home. Meet outside instead.

Original poster
BellyBand · 25/02/2024 11:50

A belly band is just a piece of velcro, absorbant fabric that goes around the dogs waist and covers to penis, so if he cocks his leg he pees inside that.

He's neutered now so hopefully it will calm down but when he's in a new place with lots of other dog smells he goes mad doing tiny sprays 🤢

I don't want to meet elsewhere, the dogs like to meet up and I don't drive and don't want to get on a bus with the dogs. Her house isn't suitable to meet at.

I do want her to visit with him.

I don't think she would mind.

We've both used female 'dog nappies' during dogs seasons

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 25/02/2024 11:51

No you can't ask her to put a nappy on a dog ffs. If it's not house trained then don't have it in your house. A nappy is not a viable option for lazy people who won't toilet train their dog

Speckledpasta · 25/02/2024 11:52

Why don't you check if the dog is now house trained first? And get them to spend their time in the garden or go for an actual walk?

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 25/02/2024 11:55

I would absolutely refuse to have a non house trained dog in my home. I think your friend is a terrible friend for even bringing the dog over.

I love dogs but this would be an easy no way from me.

lifebeginsaftercoffee · 25/02/2024 11:57

If the dog isn't house-trained then it shouldn't be in your home.

Belly bands can cause irritation, urine scalding and infection so they're not something I would ever recommend using on any dog unless for a very short period of time.

They need to be changed regularly and not be left on when wet.

MatildaTheCat · 25/02/2024 12:04

I wouldn’t view this as a house training issue entirely. It sounds far more like territory marking. My own totally house trained dog once absolutely mortified me when we visited a friend with dogs ( well known to him) and he peed on her floor length curtain.

Have a chat with her and ask if she would mind? It sounds very reasonable. Presumably it’s for a short period of time? Go for a walk together first so the dogs meet on neutral ground and then keep a very sharp eye on him.

GoodOldEmmaNess · 25/02/2024 12:04

Belly band sounds like it would be part of the problem, not the solution. How can you toilet train a dog if you are basically going out of your way to facilitate him pissing in the house? Confusing for the poor mutt.
He shouldn't go into a house where there are scents from other dogs until he has got a very strong habit of not weeing in houses. Otherwise you are simply reinforcing a habit you don't want.

Laiste · 25/02/2024 12:06

He's .... now been neutered to hopefully stop the marking,.... But AIBU to ask her if she brings him that he wear a belly band inside my house as he is still no further along in toilet training?

So OP - he's been neutered, but we don't know if he's house trained? Or he's definitely not house trained? What has she said?

If he's not house trained then i'd not have him in my home at all.

If she says he IS house trained i'd be asking what at what level and for how long. 'House trained' isn't watching them like a hawk and tipping them out of the door when they start sniffing about. It's zero accidents and total confidence in their training.

The belly band thing? No - don't go down that route because if he isn't house trained it will
a) be horrible (band full of piss) and
b) an excuse for her to still not bother doing it.

and if he is house trained properly he shouldn't need it.

SomeCatFromJapan · 25/02/2024 12:13

I would be very, very angry if someone brought a dog into my home knowing that it would urinate in it. If an accident happened, I'd expect them to be hugely apologetic and leave immediately.
Bringing in an animal and allowing it to piss everywhere is absolutely disgusting. I'd probably not be friends with the person any longer.

Beautiful3 · 25/02/2024 13:37

Yes what a good idea.

Chitasaurus · 25/02/2024 13:56

Marking in dogs is generally motivated by anxiety. Neutering is not an appropriate treatment and will often result in an increase in the problem behaviour.

StaunchMomma · 25/02/2024 14:06

BellyBand · 25/02/2024 11:50

A belly band is just a piece of velcro, absorbant fabric that goes around the dogs waist and covers to penis, so if he cocks his leg he pees inside that.

He's neutered now so hopefully it will calm down but when he's in a new place with lots of other dog smells he goes mad doing tiny sprays 🤢

I don't want to meet elsewhere, the dogs like to meet up and I don't drive and don't want to get on a bus with the dogs. Her house isn't suitable to meet at.

I do want her to visit with him.

I don't think she would mind.

We've both used female 'dog nappies' during dogs seasons

If this is the case then I'm sure she wouldn't mind you asking - especially if you tell her his marking set your dogs off weeing for a few days afterwards.

It's life with dogs, and she clearly knows dogs.

If your issue is more if it's OK to say then of course it is - even if she didn't get where you were coming from, it's your home, you get the say.

caringcarer · 25/02/2024 14:07

I'd invite her to go for a dog walk. No need for her to go in your house or leave her dog in your garden if you have one.

Zippedydoodahday · 25/02/2024 14:12

Wait for the weather to warm up and invite her round to your garden.

xyz111 · 25/02/2024 14:37

Why can't she just come round on her own? I would not be having an untrained dog in my house.

sophiasnail · 25/02/2024 14:40

Out "mature" little male dog wears nappies (like a belly band) at night. He doesn't even realise he is wearing it. It doesn't confuse them because you aren't training them that it is sometimes ok to go in the house (like puppy pads do). It just catches it is there is an accident!

stayathomer · 25/02/2024 14:45

Is it toilet training or marking because there’s other dogs? The dog is so young I can kind of understand either when not at home! Tbh I’d probably just meet in the part or without dogs

carelesser · 25/02/2024 14:47

I think you need to refuse to have him in the house.

Why does she want to visit you? Can’t you meet at a park or at hers?

WigglyVonWaggly · 25/02/2024 15:01

Hoardasurass · 25/02/2024 11:51

No you can't ask her to put a nappy on a dog ffs. If it's not house trained then don't have it in your house. A nappy is not a viable option for lazy people who won't toilet train their dog

This is a ridiculous comment because OP is not suggesting this is a permanent alternative to her friend bothering to house train her dog. It is purely for a few hours so the dog doesn’t come to her house and piss all over it to mark its territory - because it can’t be trusted not to. OP, YANBU.

momonpurpose · 25/02/2024 15:10

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 25/02/2024 11:55

I would absolutely refuse to have a non house trained dog in my home. I think your friend is a terrible friend for even bringing the dog over.

I love dogs but this would be an easy no way from me.

This. No way would I have this dog over.

willWillSmithsmith · 25/02/2024 16:10

I’m also a dog lover and have a dog but wouldn’t allow non house trained dogs in my house. There’s no excuse for a dog not being house trained. You put the work in the dog will be housetrained.

It took three weeks to get my pup properly housetrained bar the odd tiny accident.

tomago · 25/02/2024 16:12

I'd just ban the dog from your house

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