Would you find this attitude off-putting in a man?

[Cantwaittomoveout]

Someone who can't seem to handle anything, for instance always saying how 'chaotic' his week is because he had an appointment one day after work then the other day he worked 2 hours later.
He's always got 'so much going on', constantly cites 'personal issues ' but no idea what that is.
He's single and no children.
He said that when he was younger his life was 'really hard ' because he was doing a 45 hour week for a while and says he's had a tough life.
Basically if he is slightly busier than usual then it's always 'absolutely manic' 'too much going on' and so on.
Maybe there's more than meets the eye but I just think 🤔. Just seems so dramatic.

He is an introvert actually, I am also one. Maybe it is just that, and I should stop judging.

Sounds like he either has some kind of underlying health/personal issue he's struggling to manage, or is a drama queen.

If he has lots of other good qualities I wouldn't rule him out just yet, but the "personal issues" will need exploring at some point to see what kind of a handle he has on it. As someone with underlying issues myself that are difficult to explain, it's very daunting to work out whether someone new that you like is going to judge and drop, or understand and accept.

Needs exploring really but if you've already decided you're not on the same page re kids then it's a non-starter. As pp said, let him find a kindred spirit. Let him down gently.

Yes! I began tentatively dating someone like this… and basically he didn’t have the headspace to have a relationship. So I’d let him get on with it personally

I like to think I'm accepting. If I had more context I would know, but understandably he may not want to disclose just yet. He seems a very strait-lace, cautious sort of man so it might just be his personality.

Move on. You’re not compatible

I wouldn't bother exploring these personal issues, it's not Ops job to try and fix him, just move on. He will never be a reliable partner, not someone you will ever refer to as 'your rock'

Yeah that would drive me mad

That’s how I feel sometimes. I need to recharge after lots of extra things that happen. I’m an introvert

Yes, I think tbh the kids thing is the bigger issue really. I would use that as your deal breaker and be upfront about that. Up to you to decide whether you'd like to get to know him better as a friend.

Either he's trying to make himself look important and busy or he can't cope. I find men who can't cope with the slightest setback a big turnoff! Definitely dump, especially as you might want kids - this one is certainly not a keeper!

I'd find it off putting. I can't be doing with drama queens. I'm a lone parent working full time and yes life has been "chaotic" sometimes but I just crack on.

Just because you said he's cagey about meeting up - if that is the context, my guess would be is he's exaggerating how 'manic' things are, because he doesn't want to meet up. But either doesn't have the guts to tell you, or is keeping you as a backup. Some people also just like to have people to message, a bit of attention and distraction during the day, but with no real intentions towards anything more.
I'm basing this guess on the fact you said he is being cagey about meeting up. Unless you want a kind of lame pen-pal situation, aid say you'd be right to be put off by him.
I think I'd say 'wow! Things do sound manic for you! Let me know if life calms down and if I'm still available maybe we can meet. Best wishes'.
Any man who is seriously interested in you and has the capacity for a real relationship will make it happen. Doesn't need to be hard work.

I couldn’t deal with this - he sounds pathetic!

There’s no way he’d cope with the pressures of young children while working so if you’re considering a future with children I wouldn’t make him part of it.

Some people / groups of people have a habit of needing to see themselves as so busy, it’s meeting a modern trope: presenteeism in the office, performing ‘I am so needed’ etc .

It’s easy to get caught up in it.

He sounds to be lacking in energy and drive for life. I bet he also doesn't like organising holidays, trips out, gifts, insurance and anything else you care to think of because of the "work" involved.

agree with PP he’s likely just making excuses not to meet up. Would move on.

“He's from OLD and is being a bit cagey about meeting so maybe it's just excuses.”
Do you know that he is genuinely single? Are you sure he is not married?