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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In laws and the borrowed car

16 replies

27Bumblebees · 25/02/2024 01:15

My in laws are staying with us (in the newly renovated, purpose built granny flat) for 4 months from abroad. As part of their stay, we had arranged for them to borrow my friend's extra car. Back story is that it is a cheap but decent runabout that they bought for an au pair who left early and is currently not being used at all. Great, a free car for them, I thought. So we paid for some extra insurance and roadside cover, and they've been using it for the last 6 weeks or so.

My god the moaning about the car. My fil ia constantly either worrying about it "making it" anywhere, or saying that it lacks power, that the radio doesn't pick up his phones Bluetooth (it doesn't have that function).

Not once have he or my MIL thanked us for arranging it. We've saved them loads of money as they'd have had to rent one to get around (we can't all fit in our car as we have a bunch of kids). I drove it once because I was going somewhere on my own and the family needed the car, and it was totally fine.

Aibu to expect them to stop moaning about it to us?? I feel like saying "ok then, I'll get them to pick it up this afternoon."

OP posts:
scorpiogirly · 25/02/2024 01:17

You shouldn't have bothered. Hindsight eh?

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 25/02/2024 01:18

YANBU. They're being rude and ungrateful. Next time they moan just tell them, bright and breezy, never mind, we will have our friends pick it up again and you can hire one that you like.

Lizzieregina · 25/02/2024 01:20

No good deed goes unpunished!!

Aquamarine1029 · 25/02/2024 01:31

I feel like saying "ok then, I'll get them to pick it up this afternoon."

Why wouldn't you say this? Stop sitting there like a lemon and take the car back. If their standards are so lofty as to what car they drive, they can procure their own and pay for it. The ungrateful twats.

Talipesmum · 25/02/2024 01:38

I think you can call them on it without being confrontational. Apologetically say “hey, this car’s not really working out for you, is it? Listen, it’s no problem to pass it back to friend X. There’s a few good rental companies around here if you’d prefer to rent yourselves something more like you’re used to?”

scorpiogirly · 25/02/2024 01:47

I'm surprised they haven't asked you to stay in the granny flat so they can stay in the main house.

Mothership4two · 25/02/2024 01:58

Aquamarine1029 · 25/02/2024 01:31

I feel like saying "ok then, I'll get them to pick it up this afternoon."

Why wouldn't you say this? Stop sitting there like a lemon and take the car back. If their standards are so lofty as to what car they drive, they can procure their own and pay for it. The ungrateful twats.

^^ this. "Look you really don't like the car, so it'll go back to who were very kind lending it to you and you can rent one that you do like" and let them do all the arranging.

*and who would probably be upset if they knew their attitude to their freebee car

adriftinadenofvipers · 25/02/2024 01:58

Give the car back. Let them get their own.

SD1978 · 25/02/2024 01:59

I figured since the car isnt working for you, I'll ask my friend to come pick it up tomorrow and you can rent one that's better suited to you for the rest of the trip- happy to drive you to the hire place and pick up.....

LoudSnoringDog · 25/02/2024 02:00

Just give the car back and tell them to sort their own transport out?

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 25/02/2024 02:02

Sounds like you think the problem being solved was to save them money. But the actual problem to solve was hiring a better class of car.

Leave them to it next time!

Maddy70 · 25/02/2024 02:03

On the flip side. Maybe they really hate the car and would rather rent one but know this has been arranged for them and didnt know how to tell you?

Just be upfront. Say there is a lot of moaning about this car. Give them a list of hire companies and ask them to choose one they prefer

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 25/02/2024 02:08

on the flip side. Maybe they really hate the car and would rather rent one but know this has been arranged for them and didnt know how to tell you

This is definitely what's going on.
I know to some folk a car is just a means to get around but to others it's a full on experience. I know my parents would hate to be driving a small runaround type car.

27Bumblebees · 25/02/2024 02:24

I think you're probably right. Although they're pretty tight people and would definitely not have hired one for their whole stay. And that would have led to lots of borrowing our car, which would be a massive inconvenience.

So in a way I guess I was solving my own anticipated problem. Hrmm.

OP posts:
27Bumblebees · 25/02/2024 02:25

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 25/02/2024 02:08

on the flip side. Maybe they really hate the car and would rather rent one but know this has been arranged for them and didnt know how to tell you

This is definitely what's going on.
I know to some folk a car is just a means to get around but to others it's a full on experience. I know my parents would hate to be driving a small runaround type car.

Sorry I was trying to reply to this just then

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 25/02/2024 02:51

From your update OP it sounds that they are resentful that they aren't driving your car. BTW there is no way I would lend out my car if it was going to inconvenience me and my family - "sorry no".

I'd still be tempted to tell them to arrange a hire car as they don't like this one and you can't lend them yours as you need it. Doesn't sound like they will hire one, but every single time they moan I would repeat the "you obviously need to get a hire car..." and remind them how kind your friends have been to them.

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