To think this teacher needs his comeuppance? TW abuse

[McMaggie]

I've name changed.

I was at secondary school in the 90s. This happened to a friend of mine. We talk about it every now and again. Sometimes, she gets pretty upset about it.

We had a teacher who abused her. He took her on as a "pet project". She was very talented in the subject he taught. He gave her "extra tuition," but this basically involved sticking his tongue down her throat - often on school premises - taking her on picnics, picking her up from her house and taking her out and about... and becoming a bit obsessed with her.

She was particularly vulnerable at the time. Her father wasn't on the scene and her mum was working all the hours to send her to this school.

Her mother found a pile of love letters he'd sent her. She was 13/14 at the time. She went to the school to complain, and they asked him to leave. It didn't ever go any further than that. He just left. It was all brushed away. I don't know why her mum didn't want to pursue it further. Or the school. It was a different era. It would be hard to imagine now.

Anyway, during the height of #metoo, I looked him up and tracked him down online. He now has his own private school, teaching the same subject. He's been doing this for the last 30 years. It's hard to believe he was allowed to get away with it. On his website, he's quite the success story. He's clearly done very well for himself.

I was chatting about it again with my friend this evening, and she couldn't believe I'd managed to find him. She'd tried in the past. I've sent her links tonight, and she will take a look later.

I really want her to do something about it. It makes me sick that he's had access to kids over all these years. She thinks his wife knew as well.

I'd quite like to contact him myself, but I would only do it with my friend's permission. What would you advise my friend to do? I think she's suffered over the years because of this man. I really do. I don't want to go into all the details, but she's been through a lot in her life. And I don't think what happened with this man helped.

I get so angry about it on her behalf. I'd like to see him have to face the music.

It doesn't matter what you want. It matters what she wants.

@Oneofthesurvivors Yes, I get that. That's why I said I would never contact him. It's totally up to her. I can't help wanting to see the prick suffer, though. I can't stop those feelings.

It' s her decision. If she decides to go ahead, would it be best for her to contact the police rather than contact him? Hand hold to ur friend

If she wants to take this further then you should 100% support her.

There must still be records of him being asked to leave the school.

Does she remember who the head teacher was at the time?

@McMaggie

Why om earth would you contact him?.

If your friend wants to seek redress then she needs to contact the authorities.

She need to speak to the police if she feels able. I was in care 30 years back and about 4 years ago the police contacted me for statements about an incident they were investigating

I would advise your friend to read up on the law and talk to an attorney. Is there a statute of limitations? It's disgusting this man is still working around children but a strongly worded letter from her (not you) will do nothing. If too much time has passed to legally do anything, I would still encourage her to seek out an attorney to see what to do. Maybe a newspaper article or something public. In any case, you are just there to hand hold. Any action must come from your friend.

I think it's appalling. Of course you should encourage her to go to the police. Also she could contact the school. I think turning amatuer detective could end in more heartache. Be supportive of her as he certainly should not get away with it, that's for sure. But it's for her to do it.

Give her time to think about it, and if she is open to reporting him and wants to discuss more, you can highlight that most sex offenders reoffend multiple times. She could
be providing an important part of a jigsaw puzzle if any others have tried to report him. Plus his role working with children is untenable.

To be honest, if your friend isn’t prepared to report it I would be tempted to share what you know with the police, even not naming your friend but highlighting you know a man running a school has history of abusing children. But give your friend time to decide what she wants to do before introducing anything like this.

I wouldn't contact him, but I'd like to. I can't help it. It's just the way I feel. I'd like to tell him what I think of him. It's an urge I've had but never acted on. I won't do it. I know it's not my place. I've come on here for some advice or tips. I won't write to the man, but I would like to see him face the consequences of what he did. I know who the head of the school was at the time. She stayed in the job for years after we left. She's still alive. Other teachers at the time must have known about it.

@McMaggie

"but I would like to see him face the consequences of what he did."

The only people who can do this are the police and the CPS.

Of course it's up to your friend, however he could be abusing children now an needs to be stopped. Is there any way of doing this anonymously at all

One of my teachers was asked to leave for something similar. He was in the papers again a few years later for doing similar again. My point is that I doubt this guy stopped. There will have been others. Maybe persuade your friend that she could stop it happening to other girls.

It's not about you

No contact with him but got to the police with the evidence and the record of him being sacked from that school and let the police deal with him.

I went to school in the 2000's and unfortunately there was a lot of 16 and unders having "relationships" with teachers both male and female. It makes me sick.

We moved to a new property mid Secondary school and I live next to a teachers brother, said teacher left his wife for 16 year old he had been "dating" since 13. I saw him outside one day and he was so smug. I wish the law would catch up with him.
A lot of peados in this country.

I agree. Old age won't stop perverts and paedos! Only the law.