Feel insecure about my age and that men want younger

[Psychosomaticaddict]

I'm 32, 33 in a couple of months and recently got rejected by a guy who's 30, 31 in July. So I'm pretty much 2.5 years older, he didn't say this but I am wondering if it's anything to do with me being a little older, and men that age wanting someone in their 20s.
I mean if he did, that's fine, but I am worrying ill always have to go older from now on.
Also wondering if he (and others) think that women of my age are desperate to get married and have children. I would like it at some point but only with the right person, I'm not desperate. I didn't say anything to suggest this. What do others think?

I am more than a decade older than you and I have found what seems to put men off is that I usually have more assets than them. A more expensive home or higher salary for example. A lot of men still seems to be intimidated when a woman doesn't really need them for anything.

I also don't want to have anymore kids which apparently adds to them not feeling like they have a hold of me. I don't really date younger though as most men in their early 40s either have small children or they want kids so this is just a general observation that if you don't come across as inferior or in need of them for stability they get scared.

Sorry op. He just wasn’t into you. And that’s ok right, not everyone will be. Sometimes you just need to take it on the chin.

Do you want a younger guy? I'd have thought you'd be fine with a guy of same age or a bit older and no way would they have this issue. But if a guy is 30 he could well be looking for someone his age or in their 20s sure, as lots of posters here attest there are men who go for older DPs. Mine is a year younger than me. But I've found that's relatively unusual and it's more the norm for men to be same age or older, so on balance chances are guys might be fussier about age, and indeed I'm not generally into younger guys, given m/f relative maturity levels. And yes, at your age the 'ticking clock' can inevitably be a factor, so if a guy wants to avoid that he simply goes for someone in their 20s. Frustrating but there'll be the right guy out there so don't be put off by the wrong ones.

Anyone who won’t date someone their own age or similar needs avoiding like the plague. Huge red flags.
I know plenty if women with younger partners-all very happy.
These couples just happened to have that age gap. Very different from those who refuse to date anyone who isn’t a lot younger.
When I was single most of the interest came from younger men.

Also wondering if he (and others) think that women of my age are desperate to get married and have children.

I think there is some truth to this and you only have to look at the weight of comment on this site about not wasting your fertile years on a guy who won't commit to see that there are a lot of women in their mid 30's starting to get twitchy regarding marriage and babies.

You do not need to be defined by a relationship status or whether you have children.
I am 6 years older than my DH, never an issue. If someone wants you, age is no barrier

Op, do you maybe think this is the issue, as you yourself prefer to date younger?

I think this really depends on the man and where their mind is at in terms of starting a family. DH has 2 friends who are 32 and both in the dating game currently, they both freely admit that they wouldn’t look to date a woman their own age and would prefer to date a woman in their mid-late 20’s because they are both pretty set in that they don’t want children for realistically another 5 years minimum. While I know there’s some other posters on this thread who will scream that this is them being shallow, realistically it just makes biological sense. A woman at 32/33, if they want children, is probably not going to be willing or able to wait 5 years to even start trying. If a man at 32 knows he doesn’t want children for another 5 years then it makes sense to choose a partner who will also have that time to wait. That said though it is not all men of that age, you may well find a 32 year old man who is feeling broody and wants to start a family sooner in which case age doesn’t really factor in so much to the decision making because they are also “ready”.

Oh, come on. I started online dating at 42 and never struggled for dates.
You're young!

I think it’s unlikely tbh.

In what way were you rejected?

What @Mrsttcno1 said.

hmmm yeah ur right he might be more into 20s girls… doesn’t mean you can’t do the same thing :)

If you want my honest opinion, at 32/33 I would be seriously looking for a settled relationship with a solid man to move forward woth who is clear that he wants the same things e.g. moving in and having children with.

I wouldn't be dating anyone who isnt on the same page and i would be weeding them out after a few dates. There isn't time to waste with someone on the wrong page.

You don't need to rush the actual relationship but you do need to ruthlessly sort the wheat from the chaff. No drifting into a two year relationship with a nice but not serious guy stringing you along.

Fwiw my husband would have been ready at 25 but we waited. Age isn't the problem but it's higher probability they aren't ready to settle.