How to have a life again

[Sohelpmegod11]

Single mum of 43
left a dv relationship years ago
worked hard to get career and house
ended up not really having a social life but now it’s time and I have gone in a different direction to many friendships plus weeded a few shitty ones out.
im looking for ideas of hobbies ways to meet other people ? I’m currently in the process of losing weight but am still quite obese

Do you have kids?

You don't say how old your DC are, but getting them into a club and then volunteering to help is good for meeting people. My DS joined a swimming club at about 8yo and I volunteered in an admin role for the club. Volunteering as a helper at cubs/ scouts? Or even the PTA.

How old are the kids. Can you leave them easily?

I would join some team sports and get moving. Netball/women's football/couch to 5K club. Bonus of meeting people and getting fit.lots of these are social as well.
How about a women's choir, do some regular volunteering, art clubs, knitting clubs.

If you have time I would do 3 or 4 regular things a week. (Obviously depends on your child and your time). My 3 are teens so much easier now as they like being left alone. I do 4 things a week (2 of them the kids do at the same time - art and football but in different groups) which is amazing.
If you like dogs do 'borrow my dog' and find dogs to take for a walk, meet people in the park. If you do it regularly you will get to know people. The more out and about you are you will bump into people and slowly meet nice people.
Imagine it will take at least a year to make a friend. Don't give up because you haven't made a mate in the first couple of months. Be friendly and interested in people.
The other bonus is because I am out a lot doing wholesome shite I eat less and drink less alcohol as not bored.
You will not make friends sitting at home.

Oh volunteering for the kids activities is a brilliant idea. It also gives you a position of being someone so people remember your name. I did this for scouts and the dreaded PTA, which was fun. I then set up a community organisation on the back of it and ended up having a career change into events (which I love without knowing it).

I’m recently divorced and single after a 40 year relationship. It was very very hard in the beginning but my counsellor encouraged me to do things for myself, not something I had to do even if I liked doing it something just simply for myself that I didn’t have to do, it doesn’t matter what just anything so with a friend I attended a sports activity it wasn’t something I’d ever felt I’d wanted to do but it was easier to go with someone I knew. I’m absolutely crap at it but it’s a lovely group of people they just do it for fun and I’ve made new friends and much to my surprise I love it I smile so much my friend said it was the first time she’d seen me look happy in years. Now on my own I’ve joined another one I hear myself laugh at my own incompetence and also at the sheer joy of fleeting moments of success. There are obese players there trust me no one cares and some are very good at the game. Bur it doesn’t have to be a sport (God knows I’m not a sporty person) see if you can find something you fancy doing or just go along to something a friend does if you find that easier you might surprise yourself.
Secondly I was given some good advise; book yourself something to look forward to again it doesn’t have to be anything expensive. The first thing I booked was the beginning of a turning point for a few days me I did things I absolutely love doing I stopped thinking all the time about sad I was I came home buzzing. Now about every three months I have something booked that I can look forward to it breaks up the year.
I live in a rural location I watch the seasons change and it gives me gentle satisfaction and joy, we have spring bulbs everywhere, I know it’s the beginning of the end of winter, this fill me with hope, Im constantly looking out for the first lambs who always make me smile and the spring calves, our wintering geese are flying around a lot at the moment I know this means they getting ready to fly back to the artic and this also means spring is really on the way. I have been in a very dark place all this helps me. This may not work for you but see if you can find something everyday that gives you some level of inner happiness ( I know it sounds cliched but it definitely helped me).
Lastly I’ve learnt to enjoy and love the freedom of being on my own. I live by the sea and often walk to the beach paddle in the sea look out to sea and just relish in the view and the freedom I now have.
Good luck.