Are they giving me a hard time at work because I'm female ?

[idunnoif]

I work in the male dominated tech sector.

I'm in a senior role in the sales organisation.

I have two young children. I'm only mentioning that, because I've been in the field tor over 10 years at various companies and I haven't met another mother/ woman doing my role before.

Women in the sales organisation part tend to work in slightly less impactful roles.

I'm in the highest / most important role and also the most difficult/ the most high pressured one.

When I was in lower down roles, I didn't feel it as much but I feel like I have to bend over backwards at my current company to command any respect at all.

I was told yesterday I was under confident because I asked at the end of explaining something if that now makes sense ? I had explained something previously and the VP said I had contradicted myself - but I hadn't. He had misunderstood, so I explained it again and wanted to confirm he'd understood what I was saying the second time. I've heard men asking if ' it makes sense ? ' after every second sentence. I wonder if he's ever picked up on them doing that ?

I see getting the sale done as a team effort and I am quite new at this company and product and openly ask questions to learn more and do a better job on my deals. This has also worked against me as I keep being told I'm under confident. I now no longer feel I can ask anyone anything. Or even run a situation by anyone.

It's not unusual to talk your deals stuff through with people and my colleagues who are all male, also do this. They have so many meetings for support on what they're working on. It's a part of the process entirely to do this.

I'm getting quite frustrated that even a small ' does that make sense now ? ' has been flagged as being under confident. I'm fed up and feel rubbish.

Any thoughts ?

Right so your latest post really confirms that this is a culture issue.

You have 3 choices:

1. move jobs and when asked why by the new company you are interviewing you are honest about the culture. You know most vendors are trying to get their female representation up so finding a new role should not be hard

2. you call it out each and every time, uncomfortable but I have done this sometimes all it takes is a couple of dominoes to fall.

3. HR - tell them culture in the UK is discriminating and they need to do something about it.

SE roles should absolutely be taking direction on the account strategy if they are ignoring you I would be going to their boss and saying that.

I'm 52 I've got the t shirt on the way the tech industry has "grown up" you do not have to put up with this.

Also are you the only female at your level there in the UK? If you are then that also says a lot.
How many female SE's are there etc

Take a good look at female representation.

We have a tendency to accept we are the rare animals at the zoo in this industry and I can tell you where I am at the moment it is very much not the case.

I'm the only female at my level globally.

It's a start up.

No female SE's. No females even in marketing.

We do have female SDR's. They also feel like they can't ask questions and that no one listens to them/ they're constantly on edge as well.

I think they'll feel threatened. I'd take it as a sign you're doing a good job.

Ok that there is your issue, start ups are shocking culture wise. Statistics wise men take more risk which is why they are male dominated.

Also it's a great reason for a move, I did that for 9 months and hated it, joined my new place 18 months ago after years is other good brands, it was a relief.

Have a look at the top 20 SW/platform companies, see what you fancy and start the research.

Mine is definitely recruiting, always wins awards for best place to work etc, have a look at the companies and their rep on glassdoor.

You deserve company that values you!