I never look forward to weekends

[gahaa]

Can you help me sort my life out?

I don't look forward to the weekend.

The house becomes a mess really quickly as we are all home. My h walks around in his dressing gown and creates mess wherever he goes and then complains about it.

He never suggests we do anything with the kids. It's always me who has to suggest something.

Last weekend I took them to soft play on my own, because he doesn't like going. He doesn't like doing much tbh. There's just no get up and go.

We are totally exhausted from work and I guess would love to have some down time, but we have young kids 2 and 4. We need to do more stuff as a family.

What could I suggest we do tomorrow ?

Would a suggestion of leaving a useless man ensconced in a dressing gown of doom ruin the weekend? 🤔

I mean it sounds like you have a DH problem if he's messy, not helping and then not wanting to go out with the kids, you're not going to enjoy a weekend if you know that's what is waiting for you.

Can you plan nice things for you and DC and leave him out of it? Or just for you occasionally so you can do something nice on your own?

Try visiting the bishops palace at Wells as it has a restraunt and exciting ground where the kids could play .

It also has very good transport links and Wells is a smaller city but also has traditional shops plus the brilliant Ask Italian food.

On one hand you are saying you are both exhausted, and need down time, but then complain you are doing enough with him on weekends?
It's ok for the whole family to have some down time, it's good for kids to be able to entertain themselves, be bored, use their imagination
You don't always have to go somewhere and do a thing, just because you are not at work.

Why not have two weekends for rest and two for activities, and then you each pick a place to go or a thing to do?

I suggest getting up and having a nice unhurried breakfast and going off on your own until the afternoon.
Is there a play you’d like to see? A restaurant you’d like to eat in? Something on in the cinema?

Take some time for YOU. No shopping for the kids. Not going to IKEA getting house stuff etc

And make a habit of doing it at least one weekend day a month.

Suggest you meet up with friends for a child free brunch and leave him with the kids. Then book soft play for the afternoon for you to take them to while he stays home at home to tidy up and clean. If he doesn't want that then let him make a suggestion.

This year I think we've only gone out as a family once.

The kids have also been ill for various weekends.

I definitely think we don't have to go out every weekend. But occasionally would be nice.

I usually take them out on my own. Or take the older one to birthday parties on my own, while he stays home with the younger one.

I wouldn’t mind organising everything if he was willing and wanting to come. Even if they were relatively low energy activities (I remember having young ones not much it)

I look forward to the weekend because I'm shattered but then I feel so down over the actual weekend I look forward to work again. Mine are teens so no running around after them.

We never do anything either. I'd love a visit to soft play if I could go back in time!

Divide the weekend up, we try to get a half day (more like 3ish hours) to ourselves each, by tag teaming the kids. Doesn't always work out of course, some weekends are too busy, but in an ideal world its what we aim for. Whether to do errands, housework, or for leisure time.

I generally have to tell DH where he's taking the kids in his session, and usually book it, but its worth it.

I agree with tag teaming. I'm almost military about it. DH gets all of Saturday morning as I get up with DS and then take him to gymnastics, back by 12pm. Then lunch and out somewhere if the weather is nice. If it's dry, it's always out somewhere - park, walk, anything. Then DH does Sunday morning and I get up around 11am (after lazing in bed with a coffee and Mumsnet). Then out again if the weather is dry, dog walk or park visit then DH takes DS to his swimming lessons at 4pm.

Mini golf.
Library, some have board games at weekends.
Watch a nearby parkrun at 9am and play in a playground.

2 and 4 is a tough age, i'm pretty much in the same bracket. Weekends are hard, especially because you are tied to naps with at least one child which prevents a full day activity with the other, unless you divide the childcare up between parents. They are probably into massively different things too. We have found childrens parks best for short activities. Some kind of indoor play center if it is raining, though they are usually packed. Is there a trampoline park near you that has specific hours for under 5s? Sometimes that works well.