Page 2 | How often have you been romantically rejected?

Shedoesntevengohere12 · 2024-02-23T17:33:30+00:00

As an adult, whether that's someone who didn't want to date you at all, someone who rejected you after a few dates, who broke up with you, and so on. Just curious to see.

LunaNorth · 23/02/2024 20:26

I asked out my first husband. Bit of an error.

I proposed to my second. A much better decision.

SausageRollsWithMustard · 23/02/2024 20:29

I got a bit tipsy and told my DH that I really liked him.

He liked me too!

Hurrah!

MyLovelyPurse · 23/02/2024 20:51

Such a good question OP because women are apparently supposed to be pursued and pestered by men. I am now 60. I have lots of friends, I guess because I am open and interested in people. I also have a varied social life, lots of friends, interesting job and PhD. Imo I am not bad looking ( fit, healthy, not overweight, take care of my appearance etc)

I have been rejected multiple times and never, ever ended a relationship with a man because very few men have been interested in me. I read posts on here and watch umpteen films, read novels etc in which women are apparently beating off men who are pestering them. I have never experienced this and have wondered whether there is a kind of hidden secret about m/f relationships. I have never met a man who really does like sex that much beyond talking about it or having one night stands. Could it be that in reality men aren’t that interested in sex? Maybe they prefer women who are reluctant?

Anyway, I have been rejected multiple times romantically and sexually despite being objectively a ‘good catch’ since my teens. Strongly suspect that I am not alone, that men are really not the rampant sex machines they are portrayed as.

Hopingtobeahamstersgran · 23/02/2024 20:58

Before my 21st birthday, rejected quite a lot and chucked (sometimes quite brutally) by everyone I went out with.
Something happened, almost overnight and despite having a similar amount of interactions in both time frames, I've never been chucked and almost never rejected since. I'm pretty average looking and certainly way less lovely than I was at 19/20 so I'm not sure what's going on.

Workawayxx · 23/02/2024 21:05

Very little but I don't think that's a good thing - I'm a people pleaser and men like that. I was the person they wanted me to be not the person I am. i think sometimes being your true authentic self can put men off but that's a good thing. If you are your true self and they finish things, you find out fast that this isn't your person. If more men had finished with me, I would have saved a lot of time trying to work out if they were right or not.

QueSyrahSyrah · 23/02/2024 21:10

TinDogTavern · 23/02/2024 19:58

N, where n is a large number 🤣🤣🤣

N squared

Loudippity · 23/02/2024 21:13

@Workawayxx good point agree with this. I have never dumped anyone. Can't do it. I dated a lot in my youth and a lot of attractive men too but I found out down the line that I was either a side piece, one of many or being cheated on. Which dented my self esteem as felt I was never put first. I have been married for 16 years now and tbh he is the only man who has been consistent and put me first. I was so not used to this behaviour towards me that I grabbed it with both hands.

DatingDinosaur · 23/02/2024 21:31

One. The rest just fizzled out or ended by mutual agreement.

I've only asked one guy out. That fizzled out after a few dates (and I'd fancied him for ages and it took a lot of alcohol courage to ask him out).

All IRL. Nobody on OLD would get past my bullshit filters.

DelurkingAJ · 23/02/2024 21:39

Unrequited (or at least to the best of my knowledge) crushes as a teen/early 20s: many

Asked out to a flat ‘no’: once, mid teens, learned to be more circumspect

Dumped: a fair few times (kudos to my poor poor friends who put up with my teen hissy fits). Always for the best, retrospectively. Rarely with any malice and I’m still friends with a few of them (and yes, DH is fully aware!!).

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 24/02/2024 08:21

ALPHAFEMALESINCEBIRTH · 23/02/2024 19:05

zero
got with my only boyfriend(sexual partner)at 18,he was 17 in 1999
had 2 kids

were very happy together until a month after our 22 y anniversary in 2020(where we went away for).
he went our for fast food after a little tiff and hours later told me hes now engaged and living with my ex friend and is now dad to her kids(none of the dads have ever been involved)
there was no affair they just decided to make a go of it after he went to hers to talk and she declared her hidden feeling for him

at the time we were trying for another baby and planning to move to a bigger house if i did get pregnant

3 years later they are married with 2 kids,10 month apart in age(she has 9 kids by 8 different men)he went from a dad of 2 to 11,he doesn't see my kids though

ive no interest in dating as im recovering form a emotional breakdown(they caused)and im a 24/7 carer so haven't even looked since he left as he left me with 2 disabled kids that need 24/7 care(which he did share when he as here)thats home educated

WTF. Jesus Christ I'm gobsmacked
What a pair of prize fuckers

Goldenbear · 24/02/2024 08:29

Once but that was because I wouldn't sleep with him after 6 months. Subsequently called of one relationship after a year and ended a long term relationship, moved out after 3 years. Met my DH who I've been with for almost 18 years.

RoseGoldEagle · 24/02/2024 08:39

When I was dating I got rejected (after a few dates) by 4 or 5 men, and rejected a similar number myself. This was over a period of a few years and I then met DH. The rejections definitely knocked my confidence, but I had to remind myself that when it was me doing the rejecting, it wasn’t that I thought there was anything awful about the men, just that there weren’t right for me.

user146990847202 · 24/02/2024 08:46

@ALPHAFEMALESINCEBIRTH hells bells, thats quite a tale! You must be reeling. DH and I have been together from same ages, (over 30 years together) and if he behaved like that I’d be questioning his grip on reality. I hope you're okay.

MsBrownie · 24/02/2024 12:07

MyLovelyPurse · 23/02/2024 20:51

Such a good question OP because women are apparently supposed to be pursued and pestered by men. I am now 60. I have lots of friends, I guess because I am open and interested in people. I also have a varied social life, lots of friends, interesting job and PhD. Imo I am not bad looking ( fit, healthy, not overweight, take care of my appearance etc)

I have been rejected multiple times and never, ever ended a relationship with a man because very few men have been interested in me. I read posts on here and watch umpteen films, read novels etc in which women are apparently beating off men who are pestering them. I have never experienced this and have wondered whether there is a kind of hidden secret about m/f relationships. I have never met a man who really does like sex that much beyond talking about it or having one night stands. Could it be that in reality men aren’t that interested in sex? Maybe they prefer women who are reluctant?

Anyway, I have been rejected multiple times romantically and sexually despite being objectively a ‘good catch’ since my teens. Strongly suspect that I am not alone, that men are really not the rampant sex machines they are portrayed as.

I think you or onto something with the reluctance / unavailability.

Being too eager and too intelligent seems to be a huge turn off for a lot of men… I think they prefer to chase and also fear an intelligent assertive highly sexed woman will show them up in someway or laugh at them.

Women will date up, but men apparently prefer to date down. They want to be the big string man who knows everything and explain and show it all to you.
I guess that’s why teenagers are so appealing to them. Yuck.