How long can I get away with staying at this party?

[Heartshapedpotato]

Dd has a soft play type birthday party today at 4.30 (am abroad and quite normal to have at that time to 8 pm 😩)
All parents stay and this girl is a good friend of DD’s so I have to take her, but I’m so tired today, it’s rainy and cold and the last thing I want to do on a Friday night is stand in a soft play place making small talk. How long would you stay? I’m guessing the cake won’t come until fairly late if the party ends at 8. Dd is usually up to bed at 7 🙈
Is it mean to turn up a little late, say 5.15 ish (normal to be late where we are and not considered rude at all) and then leave an hour later, hopefully cake etc will be done by then. This meaning I can get home for 7 and get Dd in bed? Or is this rude?

FGS, stand up for yuorself. Don't go if you feel like that or tell them after 20/30 mins your are worn out and need to go home
I would not want anyone at a party I arranged to come if they felt like you. I'd be more pleased if they told me as posted above.

The last bit - its not rude but say it soon, all reasonable people would understand
but some will take it personally and do it to your event - your choice

Could you message the birthday girls parents to ask when cake will be done, due to DDs bedtime and you feeling under the weather?

Could someone else take her to the party ?

That’s rude.

If its not rude to turn up late then get there later.

But one night, on a Friday no less, going to bed late won't matter

Just grin and bare it because your daughter will enjoy it and its going for her

Dh doesn’t finish work until 6, he can’t take her
I’m not feeling under the weather, just really cba socialising and am tired.
Not going to cancel as have already told the mum and Dd loves the child and is excited, so it wouldn’t be fair
Just asking how long looks ok to stay?

@TheSnowyOwl So it’s essential to stay for the whole time 🥹

I agree that it’s rude. The parents hosting the party will probably have spent a lot of time and money arranging it so for you to bring your child for an hour because you can’t be bothered is disrespectful. Not to mention how disappointing it will be for your Dd to leave so early, when she’s likely to be having a lovely time with her friends. Funnily enough, being a parent isn’t always about what you want….

Good post but would you agree with me and as posted a bit earlier - would you want someone at your event that felt like that? I would not!!!

What about if I said I had to pop out and pick up Dh from work and drop him home quickly, is that rude?

@DistingusedSocialCommentator Its nothing personal, it’s just me im
not great socially 😌but I wouldn’t show that I felt like that

That’s not rude, just find an adult to watch your child and tell your child that’s happening.

I think it's rude to the hosts but also pretty unkind to your child to only go to a 1/3 of a party and make her leave long before her friends simply because you can't be bothered. Not many people love standing around making small talk at a soft play, we do it for the kids...

Don't know how old your daughter is so it depends a bit on that, but if she's over 3 or 4 I'd ask the host if that's ok, collect him and then he could return to do the last bit?
Tag teaming when you're not feeling it was a huge feature of how we coped when we had young children.

I get it - you are a bit like me and I've started a thread about going but not wanting to go
Me, my OH and children often fall out as I maon about set events but I'm ok just going to visit family relatives or our children's events so to most others I don't go

We have been where we have wraned them in advance that we will need to leave early because of xxxx and telling you because it will be so busy etc and do not want you to mind

I'm sure your firned will understand but as another FM stated - please consider the needs of your DC

I’d go for the start time then either leave early. Or get DH to collect and leave at 6ish then he can come for the last few hours

It's no parents' dream but it would be mean making your daughter miss out on most of the party because you can't be arsed.

Unfortunately it is part of being a parent, doing these dull things that our kids adore when you’d rather be at home with a glass of wine.

I’d go and stay for a while and make an excuse lie you said, about picking DH up. If DD is ok with that?

Going against the grain here - I think it's fine, especially as your kid is normally in bed by 7pm! Just mention it to the birthday girl's parent(s) so they know you're disappearing off early.

I'd do 4:30-6:30 , then say she's shattered and usually in bed by 7

If i’m going to drop then pick Dh up, should I WhatsApp that in advance or say it when I get there?

It's part of being a parent, it's not for long and you may have a good time

Hrtft but I'm assuming dd is very young
?
It gets better as they get older.We just drop and go with ds9 now but yeah you'll have to just suck
it up im afraid.

CBA to take your DD to a party that's important to her?

Seriously?

@PrincessHoneysuckle She’s almost 6, birthday girl is 7