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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To visit new neighbours after racism

60 replies

Camsclownshoes · 23/02/2024 13:31

we moved into our small neighbourhood 5 years ago. It is very ‘white’. Most people have lived here for more than one generation. We are not local but we are white. This year has seen a Pakistani couple and two Indians renting properties on the road. I have never met them but heard about them from a neighbor. Last week someone painted “no blacks” on a wall near where they are renting. I have no idea who it was but clearly someone local as there aren’t many passers by who don’t live here. I feel horrible to be part of a neighborhood where this would happen. AIBU to go to the new tenants home and introduce myself so they know there is someone friendly nearby? Or is that horribly condescending? I feel that I have to do something. The graffiti has since been washed off and it was not reported. I don’t even know if the new people have seen it.

OP posts:
terriblyangryattimes · 23/02/2024 21:17

Just pop over say hi, maybe take a little houseplant or similar and let them know where you live in case they ever need anything. I'm sure they'd really appreciate it since your neighbours are obviously bigots

Bloomingdaffs · 23/02/2024 21:20

I'd move. Not a chance I could live somewhere like that.

TomahtoTomayto · 23/02/2024 21:31

BarbieDangerous · 23/02/2024 14:17

‘No blacks’ wow fucking hell. I’m never leaving South London. They weren’t even Black, they’re Asian and still Black people were mentioned🤣 gotta laugh at racists honestly.

You weren’t interested in introducing yourself a few weeks ago so why do it now? I think you should just say hi when you see them and keep it at that tbh

lol as though there isn't any racism there. I've experienced less racism here in the North West actually.
OP, a few weeks is still relatively new. We moved in at Christmas and got cards, but people were still stopping by to say hello weeks after because not everyone noticed that the house was now occupied. Equally we WFH and might not have noticed new people for weeks!
Go ahead and say hi.,
Don't mention the graffiti that you didn't even see for yourself.

PeridotSparkle · 23/02/2024 21:43

JFC how are people so fucking backwards?!

PeridotSparkle · 23/02/2024 21:45

Bloomingdaffs · 23/02/2024 21:20

I'd move. Not a chance I could live somewhere like that.

Same.

PeridotSparkle · 23/02/2024 21:46

wizzywig · 23/02/2024 20:57

Go say hi. Can you imagine how terrified they must be

Exactly! Of course you pop by snd say hi op. Take a cake or something. Be neighbourly 👍👍👍

Tlolljs · 23/02/2024 21:49

MinervatheGreat · 23/02/2024 13:45

I live in a long established road and know nearly all my tribe by name! However, lots of houses are now rentals which has changed the dynamic a bit.

I usually put a “Good luck in your new home” card thru their door and sign my name and house number. If I actually see them, I offer my mobile number.

You could also say you’d like to meet them sometime and offer a cuppa one afternoon?

I do this and/or look out for new neighbours in the road when I’m out and about.
I have a chat and make sure they know which house is mine.
Works well.

I would hate this. Too forward for me.

BarbieDangerous · 23/02/2024 21:52

TomahtoTomayto · 23/02/2024 21:31

lol as though there isn't any racism there. I've experienced less racism here in the North West actually.
OP, a few weeks is still relatively new. We moved in at Christmas and got cards, but people were still stopping by to say hello weeks after because not everyone noticed that the house was now occupied. Equally we WFH and might not have noticed new people for weeks!
Go ahead and say hi.,
Don't mention the graffiti that you didn't even see for yourself.

And that’s your personal experience. I moved to Kent for less than a year and I experienced more racism there then I’d ever done in my entire life of living in SW London. I also wouldn’t move to a prominently non Black area because that doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not here to derail the thread anyway

angsanana · 23/02/2024 22:04

Just go and say hello!

penjil · 24/02/2024 00:12

LizFromMotherland · 23/02/2024 13:55

You've only got to know your immediate neighbours and no-one else, yet you're lived there 5 years?

Sorry, but for you to suddenly go all out to meet these particular neighbours, would make you look quite false and maybe patronising?

Might be best to carry on as you always have, and leave it to other neighbours in the street.

This.

It's obviously not the kind of neighbourhood where you're in each others pockets, so just leave it.
Don't force a friendship. It may not be what they want.
You're only really doing it out of some white middle-class guilt about the graffiti.

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