Intrusive thoughts on an incident that happened 30 years ago.

[placemats]

I was 8 months pregnant and on my last week at work, had to go on maternity leave early because of medical reasons.

Getting on the tube and it's fairly packed. A man pressed himself with an erect penis against my back. I froze but my baby started kicking. I turned around and said whoever has done that you ought to be ashamed of yourself. I'm pretty sure it was the very smartly dressed man because the other men there moved away from him.

I've just got very angry thoughts about this. How dare he do that!

Am I being unreasonable to let this linger or should I just forget it?

Thanks for listening. It's good to write it down and perhaps it will help.

What a horrible thing to happen.

I don’t know: maybe bring this to the fore of your thinking now and use it political, I. E constructively. Be aware on transport of other women potentially subject to this. Talk to younger generations in your family and equip them to be as assertive and vocal as you were.

Thanks for your response which is very helpful. I was only vocal because of the baby kicking. I can understand why some women don't want to be vocal because they are frightened.

It's a horrific thing to happen, especially when you are heavily pregnant and vulnerable, so definitely not unreasonable for it to still affect you, however long ago it was. Well done for calling him out. That behaviour was rife 30 years ago and it was hard to be vocal about it in fear of escalation. I like to think that young women today don't put up with it and that those around them if in a public place would also call it out.

If it helps, I think your reponse was just magnificent, you handled it perfectly! I understand that all sorts of responses to an incident like that are valid - freeze, flight, fawn or fight - and we have no control over them. But have no regrets, you did well to shame the little scrote! 😄

Well done you! If it helps you quite probably stopped him from ever doing it again, scared of getting the same reaction. If you do dwell on it think of that.

Well done, I'm so glad you were vocal about it. I still get flash backs from when I was groped in a shop at 15. I froze and didn't say anything. Everytime I think of it, I feel angry. I wish i had just said, "stop groping me, you dirty bastard". Just saying those words, would have made me feel empowered and less of a victim.

Next time say loudly " whose penis is pressing in my back?" and glare at all the men. the perpitrator hopefully go red. A friend grabbed the hand of a male who was feeling her butt on tube and shouted "whose hand is this?" and held hand up. The guilty party left pretty smartish when the doors opened. I was much more fiesty when pregnant as was thinking for two. Well done in not letting the perv get away with it.

Well done for standing up for yourself.
What a jerk.