To think that this is pure selfishness

[Cynbal]

I know that this will probably sound harsh but i was just left shaking my head after I read this article. My heart goes out to them for losing their daughter but this surrogacy route via a war torn country just screams selfishness. There is now a baby who misses out on crucial experiences and bonding, and I also feel for the teenage son who has to live through all of this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-68370377

God I wish people would stop being so selfish. Of course I hope that they can bring their son home asap but the article just made me so sad. So little interest and care about the bigger picture and other lives that suffer in silence.

But it was put on hold and should have stayed that way given the fact the country is in the middle of a war.

This story is just really sad. From the lost daughter, to the poor son left to run a farm while his parents go into a war zone and then the poor wee baby.

They needed to be stopped for their own good.

And the name is terrible too. He is a wee person, not a doll. He should have an actual name.

Extremely selfish. Re the name, perhaps they meant to name him Jonty, which is a boy’s name/contraction of Jonathan, but got the spelling wrong.

Yes and their daughter was involved in a farming accident which sounds like may have led to her death.. But they leave him working on the farm on his own

Yes, that struck me too. I hope he has lots of help. Poor kid.

Yes poor older son. By going to press hopefully someone will now look into his living situation.

I do hope so - what about his education?

This exactly this

The couple started their surrogacy journey before the war broke out.

But not this actual pregnancy, which obviously started after the war broke out.

Regardless of views on surrogacy in general this was an insane decision given what they would have known at the time of the embryos being implanted.

The embryos were successfully planted in the surrogate and the couple travelled to Kyiv in late January ahead of the baby being born.

"We had to update our wills and sign guardianship forms for our son who is back at home in case we didn't come back. It's very scary,"

I agree. The desire to reproduce may be very strong in some people but it is not irresistible, inherently noble or all-justifying.

Agreed.

god if they ‘have more love to give’ couldn’t they adopt a child😮

I came on to see if there was a post about this as I was also horrified by the story.

I don't want to judge the family as it sounds like they have had an awful time with the loss of their daughter and grief and desperation can make you do odd things. But it all seems so misguided - in particular the decision to continue the surrogacy process while war was ongoing. I hope they and the baby make it back home safely. And I also hope the surrogate is well and safe - I struggle with the ethics of surrogacy generally but it seems extraordinarily selfish to expect a woman to go through a pregnancy for you in a war zone.

I also wonder how many women are still going through surrogacy in Ukraine. There have been a couple of news stories about Irish women in similar situations over the past year. I really hope these stories are putting off anyone who is considering doing similar.

https://www.independent.ie/news/i-just-want-to-get-home-irish-couple-and-their-newborn-son-shelter-from-bombs-in-ukraine/a1217011592.html

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/i-have-no-rights-and-my-girls-are-legally-not-my-children-irish-woman-stranded-in-ukraine-with-surrogate-twins/a1548891344.html

Noise, stress and upheaval. Exactly what a teenager needs when he’s studying for exams.

The mother is also 56. I really feel for them for the loss of their daughter but I am surprised they haven't been able to be deterred from this path - it feels a bad idea for so many reasons.

There’s no mention at all in that story of a fairly key person. Was the baby gestated in a plastic incubator of some kind? Or are they just glossing over the fact that they’re fine about leaving their child’s mother to fend for herself in a war zone?

@LoobyDop i second this. I hate the words The Surrogate. This is a real live woman who was desperate enough to start & through with a pregnancy in a war zone.

The poor wee baby wrenched from his mother. We don’t do this to puppies.

They may have looked into this, but I doubt that they would have been approved to adopt or foster.