Threatened reporting colleague to HR

[QuickFriday]

Changed name for this.

Myself and 4 other colleagues were signed up for an extra qualification course from work, 1.5 years to complete and 10 exams.
We chose to be signed up.

I passed all the exams first time and received my certification + got promoted.

2 colleagues gave up and both left for other jobs.

2 other colleagues failed a number of exams and will have to re-sit them if they wish to get the certification.
I’m now senior to them and although we don’t work directly with each other, when it is the case, I will lead and they will take my insteuctions.

Today during an informal team meeting, one of the colleagues were there and as they were talking about re-sitting exams, they asked me ‘what was my trick to pass all of them first time’

I replied that ‘my trick was to study as much as I could’

The colleague then jokingly said that ‘the assessor clearly liked me, was I studying on his bed?’

Then she laughed - everyone else were silent.

I was so shocked the only thing I could say was ‘not sure how to respond to this question, maybe I need to contact HR for advice’

Then I excused myself from the meeting as I was due to go to another one.

This was at the end of the day so I heard nothing else about it.

No managers were present but other colleagues were there.

What do I do now?

That is totally obnoxious and unprofessional, in your shoes I would definitely report the comment to HR.

Be factual;
-outline the circumstances and what was said, including your response.

-state who else was present
-state why you are reporting; unprofessional, offensive

@StripeyDeckchair

Thank you

I have never done this before, do I have to let the colleagues who were present know that I will add their name and do I need to speak to my manager first?

Forgot to add in my OP that there were probably a number of assessors assessing the exams that are done all over the country by thousands of people and the assessors are also independently contracted by the organisation that provides the training so I don't know who the assessors are and could never find out even if I wanted to and the college knows this - it was a bad joke but so unprofessional.

Hi, OP -

It goes without saying that your colleague’s comment was beyond the pale. I think you need to think about what outcome you want for your team and for yourself, and what to do to make that happen.

In your place I would want this colleague ideally to feel, and certainly to exhibit (whether felt or not), a greater sense of respect towards me and anyone else she ‘teases’ (we all know there is nothing good natured about such a disgusting ‘joke’) in a similar manner. Will reporting to HR move you towards this goal? The answer to that question is how I would decide whether to report, or to do something else.

PS if you report I agree with @StripeyDeckchair ’s suggestions

It was massively inappropriate but I would just ignore as a crass misjudgment.

You're senior to her. Just send her an email to say she was out of order and to take care in future as her comment was offensive.

I would wait for the first hour tomorrow and see if she approaches to apologise. If, on reflection, she realises she's been inappropriate herself and tries to make amends, then I'd take it with good grace; if she doesn't and you feel that you want to escalate it, then there is plenty of good advice here.

I suspect she was trying to deflect the focus of the conversation away from her own inadequacies, and didn't engage her brain, it doesn't excuse it anyway.