Just buy a decent mattress!

[Changeychang]

Inspired by another thread about guest sleeping arrangements.

It is a bugbear of mine that people who are generally spenders (often generously hosting too!) and already have a bed frame allow their frequent guests to sleep on an old uncomfortable mattress.

I do accept that's probably an unreasonable gripe. But for the love of god just spend £400 on a mattress every 10 years. £40 a year to make your guests comfortable!

Ok, rant over.

YABU, that's the accomodation provided, lump the lumpy bed

YANBU, really wish people would consider this but know it would be rude to tell my host the mattress is crap

They might not know it's uncomfortable as they don't sleep on it themselves. It would take quite an honest guest to say something. We don't stay round the ILs much anymore as the bed's really uncomfortable and you have to position yourself in between all the sticking up springs.

I was really embarrassed when an old friend told me this. But also grateful. We had no idea and everyone else had been too polite to say.

🙈 yes British politeness strikes again. A plea then, please if you have a spare bed take it for a test drive, just for 10 minutes! Obviously if it's rarely used that changes things but if it's in frequent use do remember guests will either grin and bear it or just not stay around again. Which I guess is a bonus if it's your mother in law 😅

Bold of you to assume people have a spare £400 lying around to spend on spare mattresses!

You get what you're given in someone else's house. Expecting them to provide hotel quality mattresses for you is pretty rich.

£ 400 ...OK recommendations for decent FIRM mattress please. One that doesn't A impale me with springs and B have to be turned every flipping month.

I'm getting too old for that ....

Stop using their free and generous hospitality if their guest bed isn't good enough for you

I always wonder who these entitled folk are who descend on relatives and friends for holidays, and it appears it's you, OP.

£400 on something that hardly gets used? I think that’s a waste of money

Tell your hosts instead of us.

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/vagstranda-pocket-sprung-mattress-firm-light-blue-10470401/

£400 for a guest bed isn’t something most people can ever prioritise though.

No one sleeps in their spare bed.

After my Dad commented that the spare room mattress was uncomfortable i replaced it and he was far happier next time he stayed over.

If a mattress is only getting used a few times a year, it shouldn't need replacing after 10 years.

I think the problem may be that people use their old mattresses for the spare bedroom,I know that's where my old bed went after we moved. We had to replace the frame because BIL is very heavy and broke the slats then complained about how uncomfortable the bed was and we also replaced the mattress at that point.

My Eve matress is fantastic, bought it after sleeping on one at a friend's and having a wonderful night's sleep. Beats the very expensive Hypnos mattresses I had prior hands down. It has zero springs and is designed to be rotated but never flipped, if that helps!

Thanks! Will check put Eve mattresses.

Meh. Our spare bed mattress is a bit crap. We bought it when we moved in, the shop recommended it as the mattress they typically sold for spare rooms (i.e. cheap) and we happily saved the money for one of the ten thousand other things we needed.

Doubt it gets slept on for more than 7 nights a year so I can't be bothered to replace a hardly worn mattress that never gets used, even if it is less than comfortable. I wouldn't expect that of our family or friends either.

Premier Inns usually have lovely mattresses OP, can I suggest booking yourself one instead of inconveniencing yourself so by staying with friends or family?

Good idea - I'd have an uncomfortable mattress to stop people from staying so frequently 😉

Depends on your means tho OP.

My ‘spare bed’ is a blow-up air bed on the living room floor.

As a lone parent NHS worker I’m not fortunate enough to have a house with a spare bedroom, let alone a bed in there nor a £400 guest mattress.

🙄

I think a lumpy mattress is a reasonable insurance against guests who overstay their welcome.

YANBU

My PIL don't even have enough beds for us all, because "nobody ever visits". Doh!

They have absolutely no financial concerns at all.

So if they already generously hosted you why can't you book a hotel if you are so uncomfortable? Instead you want them to spend £400 on a mattress? 🤣🤣 You sound entitled

I told my parents (eventually) that the mattress in "my" room, now the guest room but really DH and I are the only ones who ever sleep in it, was ruinously uncomfortable. They bought a new one and we are now much happier when we stay there. I don't think I'd ever have told anyone who wasn't my parents, though (and I wouldn't have told my parents if I hadn't known their financial situation).

This is a bit of an aside and perhaps a controversial view, but I think you are being a tad unreasonable op, staying with people and not in a reasonable hotel or air BnB, unless your hosts insist on it or they live in the middle of nowhere.

I think staying with friends and family was much easier in the days when women didn’t work as much, but now it’s all too much. Especially if the family have school age dc. Their days are so much more packed than they used to be.

Unless you have a home help and a separate guest suite I think it’s one thing too many and I personally wouldn’t choose to impose myself on even close family and friends. But each to their own.

I would be mortified if I thought my spare mattress was uncomfortable. Why on earth would I want my guests to have a poor night’s sleep? I only have people stay who I want to stay (ie friends and family) and don’t hate any of them enough to inflict shitty sleep! I suppose sleep is an important commodity in my house as I am a poor sleeper and have young children, so anyone getting great sleep is a win. I have been known to literally have zero sleep at friends’ houses due to an uncomfy mattress and would rather sleep on an air bed than a lumpy cheap/old mattress. Cheap memory foam toppers cost relatively little and can transform a crap mattress.