Turning up to a restaurant really early

[Hollytreenew]

Whenever I go out for a meal, or even coffee, with my sister and brother in law, they always go really early. If we are meeting at 7.30, they will arrive at at least 7.15. I am not a late person but I arrive on time or 5 minutes early. When it comes to large family meals they are even earlier and take the better seats. It then makes it seem like everyone else is late too as they say things like ‘oh, we’ve been here for ages, can we order?’.
Am I being unreasonable?

I’d say arriving at 7.15pm for a 7.30pm meal is totally normal. You just run the risk of having to grab a drink at the bar.
Are there really ‘better’ seats at most restaurants?! The layouts are always totally different. Seems like a weird thing to be irritated about.

Why does it bother you?

If they say something just reply “huh…did we not agree on 7:30?” And then ignore

This.

I wouldn’t call 15 minutes early “really early”

15 minutes is not really early. Christ, you're just finding things to be annoyed at your sister and BIL about. I smell a back story...

The annoying bit is them commenting on how long they’ve been there. But you know this about them now - why not give them a fake time?

My parents have always been early, often insanely early. So 45min early to a restaurant.

I can’t help be early for everything, but unlike them, I kill time with a wander rather than arrive at places.

As an aside, this is the second post today in which people have discussed getting better seats in restaurants. I honestly had no idea this was a thing. Better tables, sure, but now I am obsessing that I have inadvertently been nabbing better seats in restaurants and upsetting people for years.

It's not that bad unless they've actually ordered / are eating when you've turned up .

I'd start giving them different time and getting there first

Thanks all, I am willing to realise that I am the unreasonable one!
I think the comment probably doesn’t help. Good idea with a fake time but probably wouldn’t dare do that! 😂
With the better seat thing too, I am probably being childish. You are right, it is personal preference with seats and there aren’t really any better seats.

It’s not THAT early. Sometimes you don’t know how long it’ll take exactly to get there so err on the side of caution and if it’s a big family meal then sometimes it’s quite nice to get a quiet drink first before everyone arrives! And I don’t understand the concept of good versus bad seats unless you do a kids table or have an uncle with extreme flatulence that no one wants to sit next too… The only thing that they’re doing wrong is putting the pressure on to order. Just push right back on that and tell them to give you time to read the menu!

It isn't much and everyone is warm so just say "let us look at the menu, we're the ones on time".

My Mom does this when we're meeting up, drives me potty cos she's stood in the cold waiting, I feel bad but even when I'm a bit early she's there already. Figure it's a hero problem not me problem

It's not that early to arrive but the fact they make a point of mentioning how they've been there ages would annoy me especially if they start rushing everyone else to order.

If we’ve booked for 7.30 we aim to get there around 7.25. Arriving at 7.15 for 7.30 seems too early to me.

I was expecting you to say they arrive an hour or more early- but 15mins 😕

Their comment would annoy me too though- but as someone else said, just reply with 'We said 7:30, which is now. Lets see the menu!'

15 mins isn't really early. Whats with the posts today about the "good seats" in a restaurant? When did people get so bloody moany and picky! Who cares!!

Erring on the side of caution, we left plenty of time to get into town for a booked afternoon tea. The traffic is often unpredictable, so we always leave enough time.

We arrived 15 minutes early and were quite prepared to wait until the allotted time, but it was clear the restaurant didn’t want us there and told us to go for a walk until the right time.

It was a supposedly high end chain restaurant, the afternoon tea was decidedly mediocre and we certainly won’t return.

Most people build in extra time in case of traffic / tube delays, surely? If you know they’re likely to be there 15 minutes before you and it really bothers you so much, why not also plan to be 15 minutes early?

There totally are better seats.
Next time if they say it then tell you are on time. You could try arriving earlier than them next time and then looking at your watch when they arrive.

I would always aim to be somewhere 15 minutes before a booking incase there are delays. Running in last minute makes me feel stressed before I even start!

That's not really early. Usually places will say that if you are more than x minutes late you will lose your table so aiming to arrive 15 minutes early ensures that if there are any problems on your journey you will still be on time.

I get why people are saying YABU because I guess it does sound a bit petty but I totally know where you’re coming from.

My husband’s family are always really early for things and when we turn up ON TIME always make little comments like “oh we didn’t think you were coming!” which really gets on my tits as it’s every single time. I refuse to go any earlier to appease them so my petty betty behaviour certainly trumps yours😂

I get what you mean about the "can we order comment" Sil does this and encourages Mil who's lovely but a bit selfish at times. We will go somewhere where they know the menu or turn up 1/2 hour early and expect us to order immediately. I used to put up with it. They get a "no I've not even looked at the menu yet" and I am deliberately indecisive😁

My dad would start messaging from fifteen minutes before the meet time to check where people were. So stressful, especially when dc were younger. Even if you messaged back to confirm you’re due arrive on time, he’d still message again and probably call too.

For a restaurant I'm not walking to I would always aim for 15 minutes early to allow for traffic, parking issues etc because they expect you to be on time - many give away your table if you are more than 10 minutes late in fact.

For a pub without a booking I wouldn't aim quite as early