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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have not told her?

3 replies

SnowDropMagic · 22/02/2024 13:12

I became friends with someone through a friend, who I realised I'd had a one night stand with her partner many years ago. Before they were together. I didn't say anything.
Her partner then started to message me saying I hear you're now friends with X (we were still friends on social media , it was just one night thing but we knew each other before it happened so just kept each other on socials) I said yes I am , she's very nice. Then several times after this he would message me, recalling this one night stand and how amazing he apparently thought it was. I told our mutual friend and asked for advice, we agreed if it happened again I'd tell her, which it didn't.
They have now separated, and the mutual friend told her he had messaged me when she was getting upset about him as she wanted her to know what kind of person he is. So I've now had to tell the poor girl everything and I feel terrible.
Have I been in the wrong not saying anything before?

OP posts:
Isnsneii · 22/02/2024 13:20

No because he slept with you before they got together and him messaging you inappropriately is on him not on you.

She asked you to tell her now and you did, there isn’t anything more you can do and you shouldn’t feel bad.

she’s had a lucky escape by the sounds of it.

ticheltrollXD · 22/02/2024 14:43

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PossumintheHouse · 22/02/2024 14:53

If you’re friends with her I would definitely have mentioned numerous dodgy messages before this point. Don’t be surprised if she takes a step back from you now.

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