Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD- Getting someone elses emails? (LIGHTHEARTED!!!!)

137 replies

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/02/2024 04:45

I've been recieving someone elses emails for the better part of twenty years now.

Her email address is nameinitialsurname, and mine is just namesurname. The issue is our first names and her middle initial are such that its easy, so so easy to miss that initial.

Imagine JulieJJohnson or SophieESmith...

Most stuff I can ignore happily, updates on her car warranty, invites to church pot lucks. Some of it I nosey at, the frequent and detailed emails from her brother as he was on his missionary years (they are Mormons) overseas were actually interesting (if you're a nosey fucker as I am).

I have tried to contact her (I have found her on FB, she has ignored my message, I friend requested her so she'd be more likely to see my message, that was ignored too).

I have actually emailed back and forth with her DF.. he seems a nice guy.

I have replied to many emails - for example when I was sent the passwords and account details for the church bank account, and when I was sent sensitive information about her daughters school classes - to correct the error.

But the error continues to occur, either because she doesn't make it clear to people to include the initial in her email address or she allows people to write it out themselves and they mess up.

Yesterday I had to cancel a zoom meeting for an outpatient hospital appointment, there was no way to contact the sender (that I could find) to let them know I wasn't the right person, and that she would be unable to join the zoom. I could have fwd'd it to her actually... damn, didn't think of that.

Tonight I've just replied to a multi-person email chain (14 members of her family) discussing selling some personal items, to point out they or at least one of them, as her email address wrong ... and can they correct it!

I know too much about this other ladies life, and I feel a growing sense of responsibility about this... that I really do not want! It's been twenty fecking years!!!

What would you do?

DP suggested I should just join in and consider them family and see how long before someone bloody notices!

OP posts:
YoureALizardHarry11 · 22/02/2024 04:54

Is it a gmail account? Heard of this a number of times. It’s the way their systems work, they don’t distinguish between subtle differences. I’d contact gmail if it’s them.

WonderingWanda · 22/02/2024 05:39

I've had this too. Lots of return to sender and I also got her home address from one invoice so often pass that on. I did manage to get in touch with her and it happens less often now.

mumma2576 · 22/02/2024 05:48

I would probably start joining in.....
Hi everybody
I have replied and forwarded xx emails for over 20
Years - I truly feel part of the community in fact part of the family !
Really interesting to hear all
Your mission stories Db - had a few wild nights in Mexico myself - (insert winky face) and photo ai yourself into a shot of him and you snuggling in a bikini by a pool - smoking a bong? Met this super cute boy last time - maybe you know him?
Anyhow- chain recipes anyone?

woooaaaahhhhh · 22/02/2024 06:21

I'd just start deleting them. She might be more inclined to do something if she doesn't receive the emails. You could email her to tell your closing the account or something and then just delete/block as necessary.

yulii · 22/02/2024 06:31

I have this, I’ve had school reports, medical reports family zooms etc for years now, I used to email back being like wrong email but now I just delete them.

Is it a gmail account? Heard of this a number of times. It’s the way their systems work, they don’t distinguish between subtle differences. I’d contact gmail if it’s them.
gmail is not going to help, any provider it would be the same issue as the senders are putting in the wrong email address.

Alaimo · 22/02/2024 06:31

I have this on 2 different gmail accounts. The first one was a woman with a very similar name who worked as a producer at a major radio station. I let her know but kept occassionally receiving emails addressed to her - including an excel spreadsheet with the names and phone numbers of dozens of celebrities... I think she has changed job or email address because the emails have largely stopped.

BroughttoyoubyBerocca · 22/02/2024 06:41

You have her email address? Just forward emails to her?

LovelaceBiggWither · 22/02/2024 06:48

I have a US army veteran having his college timetables and acceptances and grades sent to me for about 5 years now. Nothing I can do about it the emails all come from an unattended email addy.

Tatonka · 22/02/2024 06:52

Can you either block it so they bounce back or do some auto-rule? Although given she's actively ignored you I'd probably just block and delete

Hardbackwriter · 22/02/2024 06:59

I have one of these too! Mine lives in Philadelphia and I think must miss choir practice a lot because they keep reverting back to using my email address even though I've pointed out the error.

I also have 'the other me' - a woman with exactly the same very unusual name. Unfortunately she's an aspiring glamour model and even more unfortunately she likes to pose with her hair over her face and we're both brunettes... The top results for our name on Google are all me (as I said, unusual name) scattered with these raunchy pictures of her...

PickleThePenguin · 22/02/2024 07:03

As someone with a firstnameintitialsurname email address, I try so hard. I put my initial in caps or verbally tell people not to miss the initial when giving them my email address. It doesn't work. People don't want to put that initial in there. I don't think it's the owner of the email address's fault, I think people are unable to read properly or remember.

I would just delete and ignore or block. I wouldn't expect you to go out of your way to tell me.

I am changing my name later this year and am going to use it as an excuse to get an new email address that people can't muck up!

SushiMayo · 22/02/2024 07:03

I had a load of rsvps to a wedding once

TwylaSands · 22/02/2024 07:10

I have actually emailed back and forth with her DF.. he seems a nice guy.

this part made me laugh.

i also think you should just forward them on and also join in, but make it obvious who you are. If you get an invite to a party or a wedding go. Take A Break would eat that up.

123ZYX · 22/02/2024 07:14

PickleThePenguin · 22/02/2024 07:03

As someone with a firstnameintitialsurname email address, I try so hard. I put my initial in caps or verbally tell people not to miss the initial when giving them my email address. It doesn't work. People don't want to put that initial in there. I don't think it's the owner of the email address's fault, I think people are unable to read properly or remember.

I would just delete and ignore or block. I wouldn't expect you to go out of your way to tell me.

I am changing my name later this year and am going to use it as an excuse to get an new email address that people can't muck up!

I'm exactly the same. No matter how many times you write it as obviously as you can and then remind about the middle initial it still gets missed.

I do always chase up emails that I've not received and ask again for my email address to be corrected, so wouldn't expect someone to be dealing with forwarding on or contacting the sender for me

RochelleGoyle · 22/02/2024 07:34

I've got this with my Gmail account. At least two different women, and it's been going on for years. One of them I emailed to try to explain but she must have ignored me because the problem continued. The other, on one of the emails her phone number was shown, so I rang her! She was initially extremely sceptical until I told her what she'd just bought online and then forwarded her the email. I'm not doing any more free secretarial work though - these days I just read them and delete. Still annoying.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 22/02/2024 07:37

I have this with someone who is quite high up in local government in another country. It's been going on for years and he's even done it on Twitter too as our handles are similar to our email accounts. It's not Gmail.

invyqn · 22/02/2024 07:38

There’s a very cheesy novel or romcom in here somewhere!

I once accidentally emailed someone incorrectly in the way you describe - and she went ballistic! I can’t think why she was so angry but it made me more careful in subsequent emails… 🧐

AtomicBlondeRose · 22/02/2024 07:40

YoureALizardHarry11 · 22/02/2024 04:54

Is it a gmail account? Heard of this a number of times. It’s the way their systems work, they don’t distinguish between subtle differences. I’d contact gmail if it’s them.

Edited

Er, no. Gmail doesn’t just randomly send emails to addresses that are a bit like the intended one. The sender typed the wrong address and that’s all there is to it.

TwelveKeys · 22/02/2024 07:42

YoureALizardHarry11 · 22/02/2024 04:54

Is it a gmail account? Heard of this a number of times. It’s the way their systems work, they don’t distinguish between subtle differences. I’d contact gmail if it’s them.

Edited

It's only a dot gmail ignores, not a letter. That wouldn't work.

OP just ignore it or of it's important carry on replying to say "wrong email, sorry". It's not your responsibility to do any more.

barkymcbark · 22/02/2024 07:42

I'd be more worried about her getting your emails, appointments etc..

But in your case I'd just make it obvious it's not her but join in

Anameisaname · 22/02/2024 07:43

Can you set up a rule to say any emails from xxx address (the family ones etc) auto forward to the correct Gmail and then delete it. At least your inbox won't get cluttered!

YoureALizardHarry11 · 22/02/2024 07:47

AtomicBlondeRose · 22/02/2024 07:40

Er, no. Gmail doesn’t just randomly send emails to addresses that are a bit like the intended one. The sender typed the wrong address and that’s all there is to it.

Show quote history

Do you need to be so rude to reply like that? I had heard something a few times, specifically about gmail. In fact there was a thread a while back. It turns out it’s the dots not letters, I had got mixed up. I’m only human.

Birdsworth · 22/02/2024 07:52

I’m only human.
Google isn't though.

I've had this too. Mine lives in Ohio and I got all her college applications. Then she went to college and joined the cheerleading squad and I got all of that.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 22/02/2024 07:55

It wouldn’t be beyond realms of possibility for things to go wrong in cyberspace, though, would it? It’s not so much the being corrected. It’s the ‘’Er, no’’ that I found rude and condescending.

Misthios · 22/02/2024 08:10

This is the sort of situation which makes me grateful for having a unique name! (Not unique in that I'm called Persephone-Chocolatecookie or something ridiculous, just unusual first name and unusual surname).

All you can do is keep deleting the trivia and replying when you can to the serious ones telling them they have it wrong.