Can I tell you my life purpose? Is it silly ?

[bubblah]

I've been struggling with stuff lately.

Therefore I have been doing some soul searching and have talked to a life coach and the other day she got me to do a bit of a guided meditation to work out what I actually want in life and what my life purpose is.

I hadn't really properly thought about it before. I work in a corporate environment and my career has always been about financial rewards for me.

In any case, I worked out the following and I wondered if anyone feels that their life purpose is similar or had any thoughts about what I worked out and what I can do about it, to life a fuller life ?

I worked out that my life purpose is providing a safe space for other people to express how they feel.

Whenever I see anyone who may need to talk, I always make sure they have that safe space to talk to me. I feel like it's really what I'm supposed to do. I'm not mother Teresa and I know I can't help everyone. But when I'm in a situation and I feel someone needs to talk, I try to provide that space for them. Be it people close to me or people I don't really know.

I want to help people in this way, to make them feel understood, validated, seen and heard. I know not everyone can do this for others, but I know I can because I have the emotional capacity to do it.

Don't ask me how, but I never get tired of it and I can find energy for it, even when I'm deeply struggling myself. I have been told many times that I'm very approachable and authentic and people feel at ease around me. I don't have any airs about me. I am very open with people and easily share what's really going on.

Is this weird ? Is anyone else like me ? How can I use this knowledge to improve my life and hear it towards my purpose ? Or am I just talking BS.

Volunteer for a listening charity like the Samaritans? Or is what you’re asking whether you should retrain in a career that connect’s to your ‘life purpose’?

It sounds a bit whimsical to me. I mean, assuming you’re not about 20, wouldn’t you have noticed your life purpose before now, rather than being a corporate drone? Isn’t it possible you want to keep doing what you’re doing, making money etc and just listening to your friends and people at bus stops?

Oh yeah it's not about leaving my job really. It's just a realisation I've had and how could I make my daily life more about that, in order to feel more connected to it.

I do this at work a lot and enjoy it there too.

Train to be a counsellor?

You sure you're not just a nosy B who likes the goss? Alternatively, this sounds a bit like a friend of mine who has a personality disorder. Any time she's struggling she tends to cling on to the nearest person and take on their traits. She had a breakdown, used yoga to help, and then chucked her professional career and retrained as a yoga teacher... I'm not in any way diagnosing you, but just be careful you don't just admire your life coach and are copying them.

No I don't think that's the case.

Do you have any mentoring schemes going on through your work? You could apply to be a mentor maybe and provide support and encouragement to those starting out.
Or any workplace wellbeing initiatives?

Aw, you seem nice. I think volunteering for the Samaritans would be a great idea. Also I can recommend volunteering at a food bank. I often get chatting to people who come for packages there. Sometimes having a chat and a cup of tea with one of us is the highlight of their week. I get way more fulfilment from this than I do from my job.

Great idea! I mentor some juniors a bit informally, but nothing formal and I like the idea of being part of wellbeing initiatives too.

I think that's lovely. If I've understood correctly you're not looking to monetise this, you've just reached the conclusion that this skill is the thing you bring to the world. I'm really good with neurodiverse children - really, really good. I also don't work in that field but recognise that it's what I'm good at (and not many people are) and keep it in my pocket for when I need a boost.

Apparently I am approachable and supportive. Weirdly people at the airport try to leave their luggage with me😳

Really I’m not so much. I’m pretty blunt and a natural cynic.

Be careful of chucking in your career for a trait that you got from a life coach and meditation. Find a way to do this as a hobby but not as a profession if your successful elsewhere.

Yes basically !

@Curtainpoles I thought the same about mentoring, sounds like it could work well for you @bubblah. I am similar to you and thrive on being a safe space for people and being there to walk beside them as needed. For that reason I trained as a therapist and that's what I do for a living. But there is a big difference between wanting to be a safe space and actually being that safe space with boundaries so tread carefully and keep yourself safe always.

Interesting and not silly :-) and I can see how it might look like counselling but its totally not, good luck OP

Counselling is great but I'm not sure just because I can do what I do in the capacity I do it now, I could be a counsellor. It's an entirely different ballgame I think.

I'm also not looking to change careers.

Have you considered looking at something like Samaritans? Very much about giving people a safe space, non judgemental, not giving advice etc.

I'm a Samaritans listening volunteer and you sound like you'd be perfect. You just have to let go the (natural) instinct to give advice. Just be there and listen! If you have any questions feel free to message me. I do it alongside a full time job

I think if you do enjoy helping people and listening and being supportive then continue to do it. I feel like I am like that too, but to be honest sometimes no good deed goes unpunished if you know what I mean?
Caring too much about others is a thing. Embroiling yourself in others' problems can lead to heartache sometimes. I've seen it happen many times.

I don't think it's weird at all though. If you don't wish to explore being a counsellor or therapist, then maybe chairing a local group of people with an issue close to you. Have you heard of Co-Counselling? It might be something you would be good at and enjoy. My Mum did it for a while and met some lovely people too. That way you could try and help others, not just friends. Also learning techniques to do it in a more structured way.

I do have to add that you should not be doing this at the expense of your own needs and feelings. It's sometimes easier to focus on others' problems than your own but that can be to your detriment.

Don't most people feel this way though? I thought that was just empathy.

No, not everyone wants to listen to other people's problems and plenty of people who do do it for the wrong reason or are bad at it

I very much agree with the bit with not getting too embroiled in other people’s problems.
Someone I was close to felt so much that she wanted to help people that she ended up with three disastrous marriages and two somewhat damaged children!
Not saying you will but it is something to guard against.

What a lovely post...

Legitimate question/observation IMO 🤷🏻‍♀️ everyone thinks they're an empath. Saying you 'never get tired' of hearing people's problems is a bit weird

I think it was a pretty nasty post too and very far fetched to accuse me of having a personality disorder and possibly nearing a breakdown.

also the said that maybe I'm a nosy B. How is that cool really. It's just not.

There a difference between being a nosy B and being naturally interested in people and their lives.

Im also a listening volunteer with Samaritans and you might find that is a good fit for you. The mentor scheme also sounds good albeit a bit more advice oriented.

I made a specific point of highlighting that I was not in any way diagnosing, or therefore suggesting you had a PD. I dislike your use of the term 'accuse' - it makes it sound like a mental illness is something to be ashamed of. That's not very empathetic of you