To feel so stupid

[ThisPeachSnake]

For not buying a property before I had a child.
That's it really!
I've previously had diagnoses of fertility issues, so having a baby was important to me, before I got too old and it got difficult.

Now with childcare, mortgages are limited. I'm so angry at myself.

Please don't feel stupid. Fertility issues can be all consuming so it makes sense that this was your main priority and you weren't focused on housing. You only have so much mental energy to soend and you focused on your biggest priority. If you had gone house hunting whilst your mind was completely preoccupied and filled with the stress of TTC, you might have made poor decisions and ended up regretting your choices. Hoping you can find a way to make it all work for you but remember to be kind to yourself.

I'd rather a baby than a house any time

YABU.

Yes, in an ideal and predictable, it sort of makes sense for those that can afford it to buy a house earlier in life rather than later, but how many people live in that ideal, predictable world ?

Presumably not only the childcare costs but also the rising cost of mortgages - they're a lot more expensive than they were in 2021.

I'd love to have had mine before I got the house. If I had fertility issues that definitely would have been priority.

How old are you?

i am old enough to have been raised that it was very much qualifications, house, marriage, family. Ive seen so few people do all three in a different order because as soon as you have children, the costs of both a wedding and a house are out of reach. You decided baby was a priority and you have your baby.

Unfortunately having a child has a time limit.
Buying a house doesn't.

I think you made the right choice.

If you were saying the opposite - that you wished you'd had a child before you'd bought the house you're in - you'd be feeling much, much worse.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

you did and are doing the best you can. Your child is loved and has a roof over their head so is luckier than many kids.

be kinder to yourself

xx

YABU, sometimes ode gets shitty and you don't get everything you want.

YABU, especially as you had fertility issues. You might have got the house and not been able to have a baby.

You did the right thing, my neighbours saved really hard for years to buy a house, they were so excited on moving in and starting a family, sadly that ship has now sailed, they left it too late.