To prefer not to be passed things

[Xomega]

I've started to notice that I prefer not to be passed an item. I'd prefer you put it on a surface so I can pick it up. It's irrational, and I just find it irritating. I've told no one, and wouldn't ever not accept something being passed directly to me, but ive noticed it irritates me! Is anyone else the same?

For example, if you were to be pouring me a glass of wine (thank you), then after filling my glass you pick up my glass and move it closer to me and set it down, rather than placing it in my hand.

Is there an etiquette for this?

Usually it's seen as rude - classic example is putting money on the counter rather than handing it to the cashier (remember when we used money?). That's seen as rude. So although it's your preference, you would likely be out of step with others.

Oh I'm like that. I hate being handed anything and will usually ask the person to place it down on a surface so I can pick it up myself. My husband finds it amusing 😄

My bugbear is that my DP (female, we're a same-sex couple) will chuck stuff at me or drop it in my lap. I feckin' HATE it. PASS it to my hand.

Yes, I HAVE told her.

I also think it would look rude to put something down infront of someone instead of passing it to them.

Im with you on this. No idea why. But also what annoys me is when someone wants me to pass them something and k do it and then they touch my hand while getting said item. I will hold an item at its top so there's no need to be touched and they seem to do it every time

You and Tony Stark OP. Whole series of clips here!

Yes I'm a bit like this. My husband will hover waiting to out something directly in my hand if he can see I'm busy and I end up having to say, everytime, can you just put it down for now!

Drives me potty.

Haven't really thought about it in other situations but I think in general, I'd rather not be handed things but have them placed down!

I’m the same! It’s because I’m not very co ordinated I think and liable to drop things.

Also could be because of what @Februaryismyfavourite says - my hands are often busy doing different things!

My kids have a tendency to pass things towards my hands but let go before I’ve had a chance to grip the thing, iyswim

My grandma, born in the 1910s, always taught me to put things down when you pass them to people. I’m not sure about money - that does seem a bit rude - but salt etc at the dinner table, pick it up and place it close to them.

Conversely the one time it annoys me when someone doesn't pass me something is when paying at a till. I hand over my Boots card for example, to be scanned and instead of handing it straight back it often gets placed onto the counter. Why?! I've literally just had it in my hand and given it to the cashier, why not give it back??

(I worked in retail for years and still don't understand)

Gosh, you're right: I've never really thought about it prior to this, but - with the exception of money - I agree.

I worked at sainsburys and didn't give a stuff if people put money on the counter rather than in my hand

If you don't put your hand out to accept it, you won't have to receive it.

I find it irritating when it's a cup of tea that I would have to put down on the coffee table anyway before drinking (as it's hot)

Just put that on the table directly!!

historically in the USA if you had household help everything was always placed on the surface never placed in hand. This showed respect to the employer from employee.

Yeah I was going to say it's a status thing - servants place things for you.

Wrt retail, they used to pack for you but now you have to bring your own bag so I guess they don't want to touch your bag (in case they get the bobby germs).