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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner told me I stress her out

2 replies

Shakeitoff1004 · 21/02/2024 11:07

We are a same sex couple not that I think it makes a big difference. We don't live together and have been together for 4 years. Recently over the past year I've had a difficult time with my DS father and going through court. He wanted 50/50. Was extremely abusive to me when we were together many years ago, he worked the legal system very well. Played the victim etc. I felt like I was going through the trauma all over again. My legal counsel were shocking. My sons school put me in danger of ex. Such an awful horrible time. I was advised by my new legal counsel to agree to 50/50 to avoid parental alienation of my DS. It begins soon but there has been a transition period and ex has been awful.
Tbh I probably haven't been the best company sometimes. I've picked myself up time and time again. I do feel like people around me don't truly understand my situation.
Anyway had a discussion with partner a few days ago. She's been quite poorly. I was there for her and looked after her when I didn't have DS. She said to me however that I stress her out. Meaning my situation with DS dad, court ect. I cried because I don't want DS to go to dad's and worry that his needs won't get taken care of. I thought I could confide in partner. Now I feel I can't because she said that I stress her out.

Aibu to think she's not being understanding or supportive. It's a big life change and been traumatising for me over the past year.

OP posts:
Herdinggoats · 21/02/2024 11:36

Your situation sounds incredibly tough 💐and you sound like you are going through a lot. But partners are there to enhance our lives. You recognise that you haven’t been the best company, we can’t always just take from relationships. It is really tough, but your new partner doesn’t owe you anything and it might be that you are taking more than you are giving?

Shakeitoff1004 · 21/02/2024 11:48

Herdinggoats · 21/02/2024 11:36

Your situation sounds incredibly tough 💐and you sound like you are going through a lot. But partners are there to enhance our lives. You recognise that you haven’t been the best company, we can’t always just take from relationships. It is really tough, but your new partner doesn’t owe you anything and it might be that you are taking more than you are giving?

Perhaps I am taking more than giving atm. I just feel I can't give atm to her. I'm in a bad place mentally and finding it hard to be happy/positive. She told me let's just leave it and be happy and positive but that's easy to do when you're not the person going through it.

I have found in the past that my partner has lacked empathy of other situations where as I find it easy to empathise with people.

OP posts:
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