To be concerned that an 8-year-old girl told DS2 (5) that he was 'too young to give sex' ??

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Context: DS2 is a very tactile boy - tends to hug and kiss friends and family a lot.

We have a family friend with an eight-year-old daughter whom we know well/ spend quite a lot of time with.

They were playing, and DS2 was chasing her, and tried to kiss her on the cheek, but she said that he shouldn't, and that he was 'too young to give sex'.

Have to say I was shocked, and was dreading having to have 'a chat' with DS2 earlier than I'd hoped.

I don't really want sex discussed with my 5-year old yet - should I say something to my friend - this girl's mother?

Sounds like the sort of things 8 year olds say, to be honest, and this would not concern me in the slightest.

Perhaps it's something she heard on TV? Try not to get too het up just yet.

When my DD was about 8 or 9, her playdate friend's mum when ape at her for saying 'when ladies kiss each other they are called lesbians'. DD was very upset and didn't think she'd done anything wrong - she's just repeated something she'd seen on TV.

I wouldn't worry.

She probably just thinks kissing is part of sex at 8. I think she probably knows what sex sort of is and has got her boundries a bit muddled.

Hmm - yes, that was my feeling - that it was probably quite innocent, but sounded worse than it was probably meant IYSWIM

It's hard though, isn't it, when other children start fuelling the questions.

To be honest, DS1 (also 8) hasn't asked much about the technical details about how a baby is made, so we haven't really made a big issue of it either.

This particular girl seems quite 'mature' in her knowledge of various things, and it worries me a little bit.

Not a big deal.
The girl probably has a basic grasp of the concept, but that is all.
Quite normal.
Did your DS ask what it meant?
If so, just answer his questions when he asks.
I would be surprised if he did notice though.

No, he didn't ask anything - it went completely over his head!
Don't know if DS1 heard - he didn't say/ ask anything, and he usually would, of there's anything he doesn't know about!

DD (7 yo) got upset at school because one of the boys said she wanted to have sex with all the boys . When I asked her what she thought this meant she said it was taking your clothes off and running around. I just said he was a daft boy and she should ignore him. In fact when her classmates heard what he had said he was shunned for a bit as they were really cross with him and then I felt a little sorry for him

Sounds like she just got muddled. Thinking kissing equals babies is just one step away from the stork. Have to say my ds (7) has much clearer ideas and wouldn't make a mistake like that, but not everybody talks that much about these things- and tbh sometimes they just don't come up.

I wouldn't worry about having to talk to ds; you can just give him a little bit of information from time to time, whatever he seems to require. Don't see it as a Big Talk, or it will become really offputting for both of you.

had something similar at DS school . All got quite graphic in the language but turned out one of the children had heard his elder teenage brother talking. As others have said the children throught that everything meant kissing.

bearing in mind she thought a kiss on the cheek was 'giving sex' I think you are unreasonable to be concerned, yes. Your children will hear all sorts in the playground, much worse than that - so you'll have to get used to it I'm afraid.....

8 year old girls at school I work at are constantly calling each other lesbians, it's quite common at this age. My 8 year old dd made some comment about "sexing" the other day and when I questioned her further she play acted loud snogs on her hand to describe what it meant

Yes I wouldn't be concerned either. Also agree with cory not to worry if it provokes questions from your ds, as she says it doesn't have to be much, just some simple answers and five is by no means too young to know some basic facts.

My dd is 8 and there's lots of talk about lesbians... I asked my daughter to explain what a lesbian was and she had no idea.

Don't worry about it too much.

Gosh we do tend to over react nowadays dont we?? My very bright 6 year old is pretty clued up she asks lots of questions and I don't believe in lies or fairy tales....she understands the basics (I think).....she says that her dad has know her the longest cos she was "an egg in his willy" before he "gave her to mummy to grow in her belly" ...her words not mine....I wonder what people think of that??

Did anyone elses mum used to talk about "before you were even a twinkle in your dad's eye"? I love that expression now I understand it!

No need to be sarky MacDoodle...

My kids also know that they were made by Mummy and Daddy jointly etc, but I just haven't chosen to go into graphic details of the sex act yet, that's all. When they ask questions I will answer them honestly, but I don't think they need to know everything yet.

Boys also mature later than girls, so I think they are less aware/ less interested in some of the discussions which go on amongst the girls at school.

It's all a minefield isn't it?

A friend's DS (age 8) told her he wanted "to sex" a girl. She was shocked but asked him what he meant. He admitted he didn't know and thought it might be kissing.

Some people are more open with their children at younger ages than others - a little boy I used to nanny for knew exactly what sex was at that age. I bet some mothers were irritated that he clued up their children.

Stories about children saying inappropriate things always reminds me of something that once happened to a friend of mine; during a playdate her 4yo son and his friend went suspiciously quiet in the next room and she called out to them to ask what they were doing - son replied "nothing bad mum, just shagging!" They were actually illicitly consuming a stash of sweets, but god knows where he got shagging from!

Did anyone see that fly on the wall documentary of a reception class on TV? In one scene a boy declares a girl 'his girlfriend' and puts his arm around her. Then he announces several times he wants to have sex with her. The girl becomes upset & a teacher is told. Clearly the boy did not realise it was an inappropriate thing to say, & was gently made to understand why he should not say such things. Neither child seemes to really understand what sex was though! In another scene children were discussing the size of their daddies willies (one was about 3 feet long!!). I understood from the teacher that this type of talk is common especially out of parents earshot and is mostly harmless exploration of what the youngsters do not yet understand.

she sounds very innocent. Isn't it at 8 that they start to cover sex in phse? I know I wrote to remove my son from the class because the content was unsuitable for him and he's 8, so she's probably had those lessons and maybe some simple explainations from parents. Doesn't sound bad at all to me, tbh.

this has put my mind at ease, as my step daughter 9 said to me the other day she went to play at her boyfriends house and they were sexing on the bed glad to know its normal.

Ok, mummysunnyme, actually that's not normal. How old is her boyfriend>?