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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New boyfriends seems really entitled?

40 replies

Sasa112 · 21/02/2024 00:03

Met a guy online a few months ago. He seemed really lovely and nice.

He is doing a masters at uni.

Recently he has been complaining so much about having to work through the masters.ike he's the only person to have ever had to do it
He really thinks he shouldn't have to work whilst doing it and it's a massive disadvantage

He's really stressed the moment and says he'll be better in a relationship after it's done

He blames his ex gf for the situation he is o. Because he says she said she would support him through this course and help with all bills and rent whilst he did it and he wouldn't have to worry about a job until it was finished

Am I being unreasonable to think he is asking too much? And is just really miserable And entitled?

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 21/02/2024 00:05

I’m not sure about being entitled, but he definitely sounds like a whingy arse-I’d throw this one back!

AnotherDelphinium · 21/02/2024 00:06

It almost sounds like he’s angling for you to step up to the plate and he’ll be your new cock lodger…

One vent, maybe, but if this is something he’s bought up a few times I’d start to shut it down.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 21/02/2024 00:06

Is he expecting / hoping / asking YOU to support him ?

Get rid - fast !

Herdinggoats · 21/02/2024 00:07

I’d get the ick that he was expecting the last poor cow to support him.

JaneLawrence · 21/02/2024 00:07

Surely he didn’t expect his ex girlfriend to financially support him after they’d broken up?!?

LoudSnoringDog · 21/02/2024 00:08

I would find this a huge turn off

PutMyFootIn · 21/02/2024 00:10

AnotherDelphinium · 21/02/2024 00:06

It almost sounds like he’s angling for you to step up to the plate and he’ll be your new cock lodger…

One vent, maybe, but if this is something he’s bought up a few times I’d start to shut it down.

Thats what I thought. That he's angling for the OP to do what the ex obviously wouldn't.

Densol57 · 21/02/2024 00:14

Get rid of this one quick OP ! Sounds like an absolute ponce.
Are you already paying for most things when you date ?

CryptoFascist · 21/02/2024 00:14

"He's really stressed the moment and says he'll be better in a relationship after it's done"

Have some advice from me, as this is one of the more valuable lessons I've learned about people: When someone tells you they'll be different after they have done something, changed jobs, etc. It's rubbish, they won't be different. This is just who they are. There'll just be another reason for their crap after this.

Daisymay2 · 21/02/2024 00:20

Yep, unreasonable to winge about his situation. Although why his ex agreed to underwrite him is a mystery to me.
I held down a full time job while doing a part time Masters 40 years ago , and DS worked while doing a Masters level professional course. He could always take out a Masters loan!
Be careful that he isn’t lining you up to subsidise him.

Rialoulou · 21/02/2024 07:52

🚩

Haydenn · 21/02/2024 07:59

And when you go out on dates who pays? Do you find yourself picking up the bill for the odd little extra because you know “things are tight”? He sounds like a user who had one woman subsiding him and is now testing the water here to see what he can get away with.

Why on earth is it his ex fault? She’s no longer with him why on earth would she still be supporting him. I’d run a mile from this one OP

Notimeforaname · 21/02/2024 08:03

He wants to sponge off you. He's laying the groundwork to see how you feel about it. Dont give him a penny.

TempleOfBloom · 21/02/2024 08:16

He’s stressed. And doesn’t sound ready for a relationship - isn’t a Masters just a year? So if you have been seeing him a few months and he split up with his previous gf at a time when she had expressed support?

Was it a long term settled relationship he came out of? How old is he? It’s a big undertaking to support someone financially, and a big thing to accept.

If it isn’t suiting you, bail.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/02/2024 08:19

Yeah I’d throw this one back if I were you.

DifferentAlgebra · 21/02/2024 08:20

If it’s not working for you, ditch.

Lifebeganat50 · 21/02/2024 08:24

It makes you wonder why his ex is an ex….

Lampzade · 21/02/2024 08:26

Get rid Op

32degrees · 21/02/2024 08:28

If true, I am so happy for the ex girlfriend that she saw the light before fully supporting her boyfriend (not husband) so he 'wouldn't have to worry about a job' until he finished his degree.

I've done a masters. Through the whole course I met hardly anyone studying without working. Almost everyone juggles it.

Throw him back. He's looking for a meal ticket.

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/02/2024 08:30

Sounds like he's after your money. Don't fall for it.

usernother · 21/02/2024 08:33

He wants you to give him money. He's a lazy weirdo. Dump. Now. Tell us when you've done it.

Pottedpalm · 21/02/2024 08:34

I don’t understand why people bother coming on here with this sort of question. Not happy? Get rid.

User19798 · 21/02/2024 08:34

He's hoping you'll step in to 'beat' the ex and prove your worthiness.

2Old2Tango · 21/02/2024 08:35

He won't be better in a relationship once he's finished the Masters. This is his stress reaction and he'll behave in a similar fashion to future stresses. Hate to think what he'd be like if you had kids together.

I also think it sounds as though he'd like you to step up and support him so he can give up work. Too many red flags so early in. I'd avoid this one.

Bananalanacake · 21/02/2024 08:38

If you like him enjoy the dates you have for now, it's not like he's moving in with you right now, of course if he asks to move in say not until he has a full time job and you've discussed paying equally.