Would this put you off a man?

[Jacketpotatoman]

A man in his 30s who uses a lot of local slang, like 'alright lad', 'proper sound that lad ', stuff like that. Not sure if I'm too judgemental?

Now THIS would put me off…. And if he starts writing ‘I should have / could have / would have’ etc in messages… I could simply never speak to him again. Ever.

Above was meant to say should of, would of could of 😆😆

Well 30s is still relatively young. However your dialect is not something you grow out of. I would have thought that was obvious. If it annoys you then don't see him again. Seems really shallow of you though

In Liverpool the youngest is ‘the baby’. The baby in my family home is my brother who’s in his 30’s. I was at a bike shop before with my 3 kids and the fella pointed to what was clearly my youngest and asked how old the baby was. He’s 9 next week, that’s who the bike was for 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

Are you not from Liverpool too?

I'm literally questioning the I seen thing, I am well educated and senior in my role at work, and I'd say "I seen your Peter earlier"....

My next door neighbour who’s in her 80’s calls me the little girl next door 😂

It's his dialect. It's part of him.

I am separated from a Cockney and sometimes I didn't understand him or he said things that I thought were stupid but behind that dialect is a community & a culture. It's a sense of belonging.

I don't think by softening a dialect, you are growing up. I think you are trying to fit in or accommodate others. There's so much homogeny in this country now I think dialects need to be preserved and celebrated.

When did you go on your date, 1985?
I live in Liverpool but haven't heard those sayings for a long time

I live in Liverpool and so many people here talk like that.

What a bunch of snoots.

Doesn't bother me at all. Some of the best men I know speak like that. They aren't trying to be anything they're not. They are who they are and I like that.

I know a very gentlemanly and old fashioned gent type in his 50s, from Lancashire. Despite being lovely and quite posh he still says "I seen him today" etc, although he'd never use it in written correspondence.

It's just regional variance.

It sounds like you look down on him, OP.

If I liked the accent, it wouldn’t even enter into my consciousness that he used slang. But I am as common as muck and I don’t find that generic, well spoken accent at all attractive. It’s usually used by men with soft hands who work in middle management and who use a Kindle but think they’re edgy because they go out with ‘the boys’ from work once a month.

You can be put off someone for any reason you like. Personally I think it’s pretty clear that you won’t be collecting your pensions together, so it’s probably for the best you knock him on the head and find yourself someone with a more acceptable vocabulary as quickly as possible.

It would put me off, definitely. I had to work with a man in his 30s who kept saying everything was ‘sick’, like an adolescent. Very off-putting. He should have grown out of it by now, probably has other adolescent tendencies, too.

I moved to Liverpool a few years ago, and even I say those things now because that’s how everyone here talks?

This? That pp does not live in Liverpool and not hear those words spoken every day she leaves the house. Not unless she’s become so accustomed to it she doesn’t even notice

I know someone who is a right fackin cockney geezer. He really needs to come with a glossary. He also comes out with a lot of very tall tales - bullshit, basically.

A few times I've seen him be vulnerable and, although he's still got the London accent he stops using all the obscure rhyming slang.

It seems to me all the geezer talk is just a huge front and I would like him more if he'd just pack it in. It does seem fake I'm afraid.

Wouldn't bother me at all. I.love a Liverpool accent though.

I think it depends. If your man is a middle class boy from the home counties who went to Liverpool uni and acts like he belongs in a Pulp song, then yes, he should have grown out of it. If he talks like this because that's who he is, then by grown out of it, you actually mean mask who he is by adopting vocabulary and dialect that will allow him to 'pass' as having a different background. Plenty of people choose to do that, and fair play to them, but they certainly shouldn't feel they have to. Maturity and intelligence is demonstrated by behaviour and what is said, not how a person says it.