Softplay drama!

[MummySam2017]

So, I’ve always been a fan of softplay and have taken both my kids (6 and 3) almost fortnightly throughout their lives. Apart from the odd shove, minor rough play (to be expected), I’ve never had an issue. Well, that changed today as two 6 years old boys decided to firstly, kick a ball at my 3 year old sons face and then proceeded to follow him and my daughter down the slide, pull my son back, by his top, into the softplay when he tried to get out, and as I approached I saw one of the kids punch my son in the stomach. Horrid! I’m not one to hold back with firmly speaking to another child if the parents are nowhere to be seen, which is often to case with kids that go around hitting. I shouted ‘hey, I saw that’ and then told the two kids to go to their Mum now, and if they didn’t I would get a staff member to get them out! The latter happened but surprise, surprise, the Mum and her friends were deep in conversation and of course if their sons say it didn’t happen.. it didn’t happen. I appreciate in these situation the staff have very little they can do, it’s usually a three strike policy, but my God, the attitude of these parents was troubling. It’s such a shame that a small minority of kids can ruin other kids fun because they have not been taught how to socialise or play nice. This is only the second time I’ve allowed by 3 year to go into the softplay with his sis without me and it will certainly be the last time for a while. Luckily, after some cuddles my son carried on playing, with me there, and he is also excited to go back next week. Should there be stricter polices? For example, if a child is caught hitting/bullying, the parent should have to go along with them to supervise? I know parents go to softplay to have a bit of a chill whilst their kids play, but if rules are being broken, there should be some consequence. It teaches nothing if nothing happens. Although I’m sure the two boys will think twice next time that perhaps a Mum is watching and will confront them if needed. Which is a shame, another parent shouldn’t have to parent a child that isn’t theirs!

Hm interesting. My youngest is just getting to soft play age at 3, though not confident enough to play alone yet. My eldest is 12 and I remember mums coming around asking if I was X's mom as he/she had hurt their kid. I think your attitude is right that the odd bit of over excited accident can happen but in general parents know if their kids can be trusted in these situations. Realistically, parents should sign a disclaimer to say they'll check on their child every x minutes and have explained softplay rules to kid and accept staff intervening if necessary, but in reality it's probably impossible to enforce

Ps- DD12 never hurt anyone

This resonates with me, 10 yrs ago I took my youngest to soft play, he was a toddler. Also playing were a group including a 6 yr old who kept throwing balls at my son, when it happened a 2nd time I asked said child to stop particularly as they threw hollow balls with power into my child's face. On the third occasion, I shouted stop. Well the kid burst into tears and the mother who had been sitting closeby threatened me for shouting at her child. We left the soft play as the owners were hugely apologetic explaining that they had been asked to leave but refused. As we left, the parents were riding a wheelie toy down the slides!!!!

Some parents will never parent!!!

I remember around 12 years ago (my kids are teens now) confronting a grandparent at soft play because the lad I thought was in his care hit my mate's son. Grandparent denied it was his child (soft play was linked to a bowling alley/bar and said grandparent was enjoying a tasty morning lager) and I of course became terribly British and oh I'm so sorry etc only to find out as we left that it was very much his (grand)child...

This is why I take DS to a soft play that is quiet at 9am in the week. Ours has a baby/toddler section and at that time it is usually just us sometimes one other child and parent.

I went once during school holidays and stayed close by to DS when I saw kids a lot older, acting up and I could see they were going to target DS I swooped in and removed him.
It really bugs me how the parents don't supervise when it is obvious who needs supervision and who doesn't.

I am very much old school. If my child acts up then as an asult you have every right to put them straight and tell the parents who should also put them straight. All this gentle parenting crap bugs me. Want to gentle parent and raise wild beasts go to the jungles and let them be wild there or keep them home.

That’s such a good idea, but as you say, possibly not enforceable. Over the years, I’ve had my eldest run over and tell me all sorts about kids in softplay, but it’s quite easy to decipher if the kid is just spirited/plays a bit rougher or outright bullying. I tend to tell my kids to play elsewhere, which was difficult in this situation as my son was pursued and then punched. I requested the softplay put a mark against the parents name, so they can act accordingly if it happens again in the future xx

That’s awful they were allowed to stay after being told to leave. I’m hindsight, the softplay had every right to call the police but as you say, some parents will never parent, no matter the threat. Good on you though for stepping in for your kid xx

What a cheek, but probably not too uncommon for those who can’t be bothered to do anything xx

Yep, I’m with you on going during term time. My son and I typically go early during the week and it’s absolute bliss. I definitely had my reservations today and glad I kept an eye, it troubles me what more could have happened if I didn’t get there when I did as the kids were pulling my son back into the softplay. My daughter couldn’t even run and tell me as she didn’t want to leave him. Sickening and big lesson learnt for me too, I can definitely take responsibility for my part in this.

Absolutely, for me there’s a certainly a place to be gentle but there’s absolutely a time to be direct and to the point. I have zero tolerance for bullying, that goes for other kids and my own and I’ll always speak up. My response is always that I wouldn’t have to say anything if you (parent) were here to say it yourself. As I say, spirited kids/rough play kids, I get it, I have many in my family. However, when a kid pursues and there’s a clear power imbalance being exploited, it’s an adults responsibility to step in and safeguard xx