I feel so guilty , am I doing the right thing?

[KirstyF2]

Me and my ex who is abusive share a dog together - we also own a house but I don’t live there.

Ive been going over to walk him and let him out some days as I miss him so much but I can’t have him where I’m staying .

on the last occasion I went my ex turned up in a bad mood and got physically abusive. The police and my family have said I can’t go back to the house anymore for my own safety.

I know this is right but I’m absolutely heartbroken I won’t see my dog and I feel so guilty that he’s going to wonder where I am. We had him since he was a pup and we were inseparable . Am I doing the right thing?

Yes, you are. Can you care for your dog when you have been physically harmed, in hospital or potentially even dead? Your life is more important than your dog, as hard as it is for you to hear.

Can whoever voted on the poll as ‘I’m being unreasonable’ explain why please?

Is there a handover by a 3rd party that you could organise? Is he cruel to the dog?

This man could kill you. You cannot risk your safety for a dog, as incredibly painful as I'm sure that is.

This is a difficult one to vote on, because it's not really clear what you're asking to be rated on.

You're not being unreasonable to have to put yourself ahead of your dog in this instance, your ex sounds like a dangerous piece of work. But you're clearly having doubts about it. So, if you didn't take your friend/family advice, you would be being unreasonable.

There are solicitors who deal with abuse and animal custody

Maybe consider that when you feel you may be able to manage the dog more
Awful situation

Def get more specialist advice

What a fcker your ex is

Tell the police everything

Can you try and get the dog out to a foster family where you could still visit? Based on him being abusive so may harm dog? I’m not sure if that is even a thing but just in case…

I’m not sure if your question relates to going or not going?! It’s a bit confusing as you mention both.

YABU to go there if you are at risk of being harmed. But YANBU to be upset about it :(

Thanks everyone - yes sorry it does seem a bit confusing the way I've put it.

i don’t think my ex would harm the dog - he deffo loved him more than me.

i just feel really guilty for putting myself above my dog - so I just wanted to see if I was being unreasonable by doing so. I know that sounds crazy but I can’t explain how much he means to me.

Is your ex looking after him adequately ? If not then there are some organisations who will look for suitable foster homes for them in DV cases. A friend of mine is currently fostering such a dog until a point where the owner can have him back.

@Babyroobs yes as far as I’m aware he’s been looking after him ok.