What does single parent burnout look like?

[Tellmeifimwrong]

Do I have ADHD, or is this just single parent burnout? Parenting 2 children (both awaiting ADHD assessment) completely alone. Have trauma in my background. Have all the signs of ADHD but am also in fight or flight most of the time. My life is chaos and I feel like nothing ever goes right. I'm completely worn out.

Just wanted to say sorry to hear you're struggling.

Being a single parent is one of the hardest things, especially if there are additional needs involved. Do you have any family support to offer respite?

Being a single parent is really hard. Parenting a child with ADHD can be really hard. Being an adult with ADHD is really hard. You’ve got the triple whammy so you’re probably exhausted. I had all that 20 years ago so you have my sympathy. It will get better, sending hugs.

Thank you. No real family support, the odd night here and there at my sister's who lives in a different city. Kids have occasional sleepovers with friends. I'm completely wiped out. Off work at the moment for half term and could cry at the thought of going back.

Don’t know, I only have the one, but I’m pretty much the same. Every day, exhausted and overwhelmed. For a while I kept a handle on it but it’s all going wrong now. Solidarity I guess?

Solidarity @audweb I feel the same, been just about managing for about 7 years and then this last year has been an absolute shitshow and I can't cope any more!

I feel like this but i definitely don’t have adhd so not sure what it is for me? Like I’m permanently exhausted I’m never not tired. I wake up tired and I am at a point now where I’m too tired to take my kids anywhere or do anything. I have 4 and their father doesn’t see them (no family) just assumed it was normal for my situation definitely don’t think I have adhd.

Does your job have decent sick pay? If it does, it sounds like you should take some time off. You sound totally exhausted. I'm not a single parent but what you said about 'constant fight or flight' really resonated with me. I have had 2 periods like that and have been signed off for a month each time and literally just laid on the sofa/snoozed during the time my kids were at school. Sometimes we just need to rest before the wheels come off completely.

I am in the exact same situation with the literal only difference being that I was diagnosed with ADHD last year. Single mum, 2 kids with suspected adhd/autism/dyspraxia

I am constantly exhausted. Its half term atm, we went out yesterday and I have spent most of the day in bed trying to recover.

I think its burnout. I dont know about you but I massively struggle with day to day life, I dont know how other people manage because I certainly cant

Do you take any vitamins? Have a read up about magnesium and ADHD, I genuinely feel better when I take magnesium

Oh thanks @MisMatchUpDown088 I will get some magnesium, I take iron, zinc, vit D and fish oil so can add more into the mix!

This is getting really weird now. People on hefe keep posting my life!

I’m also a single mum, work full time and a bit more, one of my two has ADHD and I suspect I have it. I’m also peri menopausal which apparently makes it worse.

I have this too. I'm autistic with ADHD, been a single parent for 15 years, very little support, both kids are autistic and one with ADHD. DD has an eating disorder and my son has OCD, so both out of school at the moment and my elderly mum lives with us who is disabled.

I had to give up work to look after them and exist in a permanent state of utter exhaustion. It's hellish. I can't remember what it feels like to not be tired and to have some energy.

I started taking magnesium, which seems to really help, but unfortunately, my kids are up in the middle of the night a lot at the moment and want to talk to me about things worrying them so any positive effect is getting drowned out!

But yes, I did wonder if this was autistic/ADHD burnout, and what on earth to do about it.

Could it be the impact of trauma op ?

I'm in a similar boat and now I can see how DV has effected me
I can't manage to work a full day
Can work in the morning only
Short attention span

I link it to trauma

That's a very interesting point. I left my ex due to DV. I'd never thought of it as being connected before.

I work full time but can only focus in the mornings and spend all afternoon pretending to work which I don't feel great about. Had dv in my childhood and emotional abuse in my marriage, I've always been a bit flighty and unfocused but this is on a level I've never experienced before.

@MrsToddsShortcut that sounds hideous and I am not surprised you're burnt out. I have no suggestions for how to boost yourself other than early nights, supplements and leaning on any friends you may have.

Can totally relate to this too, single mum, always exhausted (fibromyalgia, ASD and ADHD and I think long COVID too), both children on ASD pathway, fled DV five years ago and still being dragged through the courts by nasty controlling ex. Can't remember how it feels to have energy at all. Last night my youngest said mummy why is it so dark grey under your eyes 🤦🏼😥 thank you for the tip about magnesium, the pain meds I take for fibro make me so tired but also cause insomnia 😝 so I will try this. Good luck to us all x

I just wanted to post on solidarity. I too am a lone parent to two under ten. I have ADHD, have a history of childhood trauma and like you, am in fight or flight near enough constantly. One of my kids also has ADHD. It's a hard road and I often feel like I'm running on empty. I get your struggles.