To think this isn’t the hour veryyyy longggggg

[Babsexxx]

Good Evening Ladies,

im probably a bit sensitive as my baby was diagnosed deaf from birth lots of appointments at audiology, I’ve really struggled with his diagnosis I didn’t initially as he was diagnosed at moderately deaf.

Then I went down a Google rabbit hole and quickly realised he could end up severe or prefound even immediate panic! I’m a mum of 6 and it was the worst labour I’ve had with him I had a fully retained placenta, unfortunately days before my induction (not knowing what would happen to me) I read a news article a lady had dropped dead 10 days post partum following the exact procedure I had.

I didn’t at that time know I’d end up having the exact same problem/procedure as soon as my baby turnt ten days old I had excruciatingly bad anxiety attacks think I’m going to pass out bad!

They eased for a while then I had Christmas and the most stressful January still not too bad attacks, however this month they have been crippling I can count on one hand the days I’ve not had them, how I’ve taken the kids to school daily is nothing short of a miracle! I’m proud of myself but I know deep down this cannot carry on dr booked for Tuesday!

Ive recieved a phone call at 7.15pm! Advising me that the deaf society wants to come around on Thursday morning! The trouble is, is alot of January consisted of FAR too many appointments with 2 sen children non verbal one on a ehc plan another heading that way mental capacity below half there age, one under audiology but thankfully not deaf.

I mean I agreed to a ridiculous amount of appointments which for my own mh I should have spread out not cancelled! But definitely should have acknowledged I should of revised!

AIBU to fuck all family admin off at the moment until I get medicated?! It’s debilitating I come over all of a sudden like someone’s beat me on the head dizzy it’s awful I feel like dropping dead! I know what it is I had it at 18.

Aibu to postpone things only until I get better?

I also have social anxiety I can’t make real eye contact or hold conversations without getting in a spin! I’m really concerned it looks like I’m on drugs etc when I’m definitely not!!

I also work very hard with our family business btw so I’ve got quite a bit on my plate!

I feel like being kind to myself is crucial right now any advice is welcome I hate to cancel important appointments but I can’t describe how bad my anxiety really is!

Evening,

We're just sticking our heads around the door to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.

We hope you don't mind, but when any of ours users are going through tough times we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

I honestly would have them round ASAP, because they'll sign post support. You'll be offered free sign language lessons, to help communicate with the baby. Also you'll need a referral for a cochlear implant to help the baby hear. They're more effective than a standard hearing aid. Waiting lists can be long for resources, so I'd start now.

@Beautiful3 I don't know where you are but free BSL classes is by no means universal and a CI would not be needed for a moderate loss. If the baby needs hearing aids they should be fitted asap if not already. However, the support from a TOD is very helpful and sounds like OP would benefit especially in the absence of a HV.

I'm in England, the West Midlands. The funding is here for free sign language lessons, for parents of deaf children. It can take a few years to learn sign language, so the sooner, the better. I've worked with deaf children/adults for 8 years. Even if the hearing loss is moderate, it's still good to learn sign language as it may still get worse. I know quite a few deaf people, who's hearing deteriorated by adult hood. My cousin had a c.i fitted as a baby, as opposed to his sibling who had to wait around age 9.

Ladies thanks so much for your kind words! But to be clear my panick attacks started because of a news article not because my baby was deaf, I’m on my first day of beta blockers and my heads nearly fell off how great I feel! I’ve made eye contact spoken to people without any anxiety feeling faint dizzy etc gone shopping up the retail park for hoursssss!

It wasn’t plain sailing two hours into the meds I had a very funny turn for a minute! But it lasted literally minutes rather than hours I broke down to my husband after the school run as today I had prepped a full roast after months of loosing my hobby!

My husband was very emotional too! Ladies if you suffer with panic attacks just take the meds yes i felt a bit tired and nauseous but in comparison to how o felt it is like a walk in the park!

Im soo pleased I could actually cry xxxxxxx

Oh OP this is such fab news! I'm so happy you're feeling so much better and getting the help you need. From suffering with anxiety as a teen and feeling similar to you it's life changing what medication can do to help.

Glad you're feeling better and have got some help OP!
You wouldn't be unreasonable to have put the admin off until you have the mental capacity to deal with it, but should definitely ring and just say 'I can't make the appointment, I'll ring back in a couple of weeks to rearrange'

I'd echo what someone else has said about sorting the appointments out - I don't know how old your children are, but I'd recommend getting some kind of calendar system up and running - Google calendar works well for me.
You could allocate each child a colour, and add all their appointments when you get them, so you can see each day and avoid getting overwhelmed - if there's still loads you can set it up so you get an itinerary each day by email! A joint family calendar might work well too, particularly if you've got older kids too who can put their own stuff onto it, and your partner can also be on it - means you could do things like allocate who's doing lifts for kids activities on it too!

I'd also say getting a proper family routine up and running if you've not got one already may be helpful for you and the children, particularly the young ones. Put reusable charts up so they can follow along and tick off their progress - morning routing of get up, use toilet, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, brush hair, eat breakfast, fifteen minutes of colouring or reading, shoes and coats on, then time to go to school/ nursery. Same for after school - get home, shoes and coats off and hung up, snack and drink, tv time, homework, colouring and reading, chores, dinner, family card games. And an evening/ bedtime routine - pack bag for next day, lay out clothes for next day, tidy bedroom, bath, pjs on, brush teeth, read a story with parent, go to sleep. Helpful for all kids, particularly neurodivergent ones (you can add pictures too, so they can use it even if they can't read) - and for you if you're not feeling your best as it takes a lot of arguments out of the day - they can see TV time is later, and it's not mummy says no, it's the schedule. It also means they can be more independent and if you end up super stressed again, you've already put that foundation in where everyone knows what comes next, also means if you have a funny turn for a few minutes when everyone's supposed to be brushing their teeth, they can see what they're supposed to be doing without you whilst you get your head together