DS 4 struggling to take turns

[flowerpowersw]

I've been informed he struggles with waiting his turn and can snatch toys/ doesn't seem to care that he's upset others when he does so.

He listens to instructions and follow rules most of them time, but not always.

Nursery have informed me he needs support in this area and they're going to help by creating a group environment of similar kids who struggle with the same things.

Am I right to be freaking out ?

At home, he struggles to take turns / take toys from his little brother ( 2 ). It's getting better though and really depends on the day.

When we've had play dates with other 4 year olds, sometimes it's perfectly fine and other times they both end up fighting over toys.

What else can I do at home to support him and will he be ok ? Do some kids just develop slower in this area ? Very worried mum.

Am I right to be freaking out ?

No. You are overreacting.

Nursery have identified an are that your child need a bit of support in and are arranging that support.

Am I right to be freaking out ? No, you are not right.

What does 'freaking out' mean here?

He is four, many kids find it hard to take turns - the answer is to keep modelling and keep correcting. Practise, practise, practise.

Play loads of games at home, praise him every time he manages to do it well.

Christ almighty he's 4!!! Ffs

It's fine, and it's great that they've identified that he needs support and are working with you on it! Hopefully they'll let you know regularly what they're doing so you can do the same thing at home.

Well yes I thought that it's normal behaviour for 4 year olds to sometimes behave this way tbh. So it must be pretty bad then if they have flagged it like this ?? That's why I'm freaking out.

A lot of 4 year olds struggle with this. You say it is getting better. Keep going.

Nursery are just offering some additional support.

No need to freak out at all.

Thanks everyone. Appreciate it. I'm having a really tough time and can't help catastrophising.

Am I right to be freaking out ?

No, you're being absolutely ridiculous.

He's 4, it's normal. Nursery are being proactive and putting steps in place to help him.

Take a deep breath, have a cup of tea and chill out. You'll fall apart when you encounter a real problem if this is freaking you out!

Stop freaking out!!

Perfectly normal if not desirable behaviour- certainly in boys of that age …

I have sons. DS1 was totally ok, DS2 was a bit of a toy grabber. His biggest problem with turn taking was constantly talking and not listening - he had additional support in a small group in infants which was very helpful.

Keep reminding him of what you expect and practise and praise.

Totally? That should read ‘normally’ …

You're absolutely right. I really need to learn to deal with this better.

Thank you. That's really helpful.

I have been making a huge effort to get through to him recently and he is getting better at home for sure.

It sounds like the small group thing is beneficial. Perhaps we should organise more play dates so I can support better from home as well ?

Agree with everyone that it’s normal but YANBU.

It’s so natural to overthink things the nursery tell you and either think maybe they’re sugar coating it for me or, it must be really bad if their bringing it up.

They probably just want to show you that they’re supporting him to make progress in the areas he needs a bit of support with. All kids have areas they need a bit of help with and you DS’s sounds normal for his age group so happy days. x

Thanks so much for your kind response. I've had a night to sleep on it and do feel a bit better today.

It's just the way I was told - it wasn't delivered the way that you guys have delivered it.

It was very much delivered like : your child has a problem and is not acting as expected for his age. We will see how it goes with extra support and if it changes to determine if this is something to be worried about longer term.

That's how it was delivered. Or that's how it arrived.

If I had been told ' he seems to have trouble in this area ' ' we are going to put this in place to help ' but don't worry, he's doing well in other areas and the area he's struggling with is a common area to struggle with and with a bit of extra support, they get there.. it would have been nicer for me to hear.

When my children were smaller we played lots of quick games. Snap. Snakes and ladders dominos etc. Just the two of us. Also practiced sharing if they were showing me something and ask to share very briefly and hand it back. And tell them how kind they were for sharing. Nothing over bearing. Just practicing the skills with them.