To not want to be questioned over my diet?

[DIYnovices]

I work in an office where there are always snacks on offer and a nearby coffee shop I often grab a wrap from for lunch or get a coffee on the way in.

I’ve put on a bit of weight because of this. I’m a size 8 and am feeling clothes getting tighter and muffin top appearing. So I’m planning to lose the weight by eating less. I’m fairly sedentary so eating 1200 calories per day would let me lose weight safely at about 1lb per week. I’d like to lose around. 9lb. I’ve done this in the past and kept the weight off for around 8 years without calorie counting again.

I haven’t announced this in the office but people have noticed me declining snacks and eating a homemade lunch and drinking green tea etc. They have asked me and I answered honestly that I was trying to lose a little weight before I had to buy new clothes. The comments are absolutely endless! ‘But you’re not fat’ ‘you’ll look emaciated’ ‘you’ll get an eating disorder’. I’m so sick of explaining myself every day, and I don’t want to appear defensive or rude but I really just want to shut them down.

You could be describing me, even to the 9lb you want to lose! I never use the words lose weight. I either just say I don't fancy something sweet if it's offered, or say I'm on a health kick if I get comments on my food. People are a lot less likely to argue with health than with what they percieve to be an already slim person dieting. Also people who are heavier can feel uncomfortable if you're critical about your own lighter weight as they imagine you must think they're huge.

Just say "look what I eat is my private business so please stop going on about it as it's stressing me out and is annoying me "

That's exactly what I would say

Yeah people get weird about people they perceive as slim making these choices about their diet/lifestyle. They feel like your choices are a judgement of them. Obviously, that's not your fault or responsibility.

I always suggest coming up with a stock phrase to answer these comments, it has to be something that would apply to anything - and then repeat it literally word for word every time. The repetition really hammers home to people how often they're doing it.

Depending on how rude you want to be 😂 you could use e.g.

"I don't need health advice, but thanks!"
"I'd rather not talk about my diet."
"Well, that's my choice to make."
"Please stop making these comments."

Followed by a swift "anyway..." and a change of subject.

Unfortunately, while it’s (rightfully) extremely taboo to most people to point out overreating habits, as you have experienced first hand, people see weight loss diets as something acceptable to discuss.

Honestly what I would do is nod and smile and carry on as you are. I would not be happy myself with comments about disordered eating in the office and if this line is brought up repeatedly by anyone I would be challenging it and bringing it up to my line manager.

Can you say, 'oh I like to do a bit of a fast every so often, gives me more energy' or something bland. Weird that anyone asks though!

But you’re not fat

"That shows my diet is working"

I'm similar to you OP and sometimes reign in the snacks etc to lose a few pounds.

The difference is if anyone notices, I just say I'm trying to eat a bit healthier 🤷‍♂️

I think it was blatantly obvious people were going to tell you weren't fat, therefore starting that conversation.

I would be direct and say ‘I don’t like talking about my weight/what I’m eating’, if they’re smart they’ll leave it alone.

It’s nobody’s business, strange that people like to comment on people’s food/bodies regardless of their size.

Honestly, they're likely bigger than you and feeling a bit jealous. All they're seeing is a slim person, while your perspective is entirely different! Still not OK, obviously.

This. Tbh even if you were fat, for many 'you don't need to' is the socially acceptable response to someone telling them they're refusing food because they're dieting.

How rude that someone would casually claim you would start suffering a life threatening psychiatric disorder because you dodged a custard cream? Or worse, if you were actually suffering from an ED already (def not saying you are but how would they know!?) Ignore them fully. At best they probably think they are being complimentary as they love your figure, but at worst they are nosy, rude and jealous.
Do not engage with them in conversation about who's eating what.

I'd say that you are removing processed foods for health reasons and then bore them stupid about how they are poisoning their bodies with unhealthy snacks.

I just say I've been feeling sluggish/my skin hasn't been great so I'm cutting out junk for a bit. People are funny about weight.

WTF. I have never ever had anyone comment about my body size in the workplace!

I didn’t snack when I worked in the office, no biscuits or cakes when it was birthdays or holidays. We had some fizzy drinks and snacks available in our kitchen area but I never ate them. No one ever commented once! Maybe I sent off that fuck you vibe but also food wasn’t a big topic of conversation unless we went out to eat together, then we did talk about whether it was good or not.

Wven if we had catered meals or delivery and I didn’t eat no one commented. Just ignore the comments, silence speaks volumes. No need to draw attention to your personal dietary intentions.

Oh I've had this, in an old job.
I would just smile and go 'yes, it's how I stay slim!' (And I'm a 10-12, not exactly petite)
People kept on though. It was mostly when I said 'no thank you' to the endless cake/biscuits, or wore something figure hugging.
And it did sometimes become really hard not to point out all the disordered eating the other way in the office (half the office on bloody slimming world eating basically an entire bag of pasta for lunch and then having those dreadful low cal bars that have got the nutrition of a dust wrapped toilet roll)
Wish I had, in hindsight.

I've got round it by saying my clothes are getting a bit tight and I can't afford to replace them at the moment. A couple of people were actually quite sympathetic to that. Obviously won't work if they know you're a multi millionaire!

I've had similar comments. But I'm the one who can still fit in clothes I wore as a teenager so I'm pretty sure I've got the last laugh.

I'm surprised your colleagues are so invested in your weight. I don't think anyone pays attention to what anyone else is eating in my office - or if they do, they aren't rude enough to make a big deal of it.

"You don't have to be fat to eat healthy"

"I'm trying to eat healthier"

People are weird about what others eat.

Bit late now, but generally I think it's better to make it a health thing, rather than a weight thing. Say you're not having cake because you're trying to be healthier, not because you want to lose weight.

I remember a colleague eating that Special K cereal for breakfast and lunch every day. (We ate breakfast at our desks.) and no one ever commented once about it. She was slim. Who knows why she did it. It was None of anyone’s business!

I remember this being an actual diet years ago!

The constant treats and snacks in offices do my head in. When I was calorie counting to lose weight, I realised how often these were handed round and what great offence people take if you say no.

I tried politely declining at first but quickly found just being quite blunt ‘no, I don’t any’ worked better. Otherwise you get ‘oh, go one’ ‘just one’ or whatever.

to be honest as long as you're not unhealthily underweight its none of their business, I am a size 14 but otherwise use the same method - if my jeans get tight, I cut back on unnecessary snacking cos I'm too cheap to buy new ones! just tell them to back off

Say listen you greedy fat fuckers - you can stuff sugary cakes down your pie holes all day long but don't tell me what to do. When they look aghast - follow up with - it's not nice to have someone discuss your body and food is it?