To not go to this baby shower

[HollyHoo]

So, I am not very close to my brother anymore, he got massively into drugs and on the back of that did a lot of unforgiveable things. I don't hate him I just don't like him. I went out a few months back with my dad and him and he really hasn't changed.

Anyway he has a child with a girl who he had a night stand with and is not able to see her, this is not relevant to the current situation as he has met a lovely girl (too good for him) and she is now pregnant (due in March)

I am not very close with her to be honest and just don't feel like going to her baby shower. I hate baby showers anyway, I went to her gender reveal and it was so pretentious and I felt so uncomfortable. I hope to be massively involved with my nephew though and get to know her a bit more.

Thanks for the offer. Unfortunately i cant come. Hope you have a fab time. Looking forward to seeing the photos

I don’t think not going is the way to foster good relations, unless you come up with a viable excuse.

I can’t see you being massively involved with the baby though, given you don’t actually like your brother and barely know his partner. So I’d let that hope go.

Who has a gender reveal AND a baby shower?

This. You can't dislike your brother, get to know the mother "a bit" and then be "massively" involved with the baby. It doesn't work like that. If you want to build bridges, go. If you don't, then make your excuses and don't go.

Her family are absolutely loaded!

If you want to be masssively involved with the baby then you suck it up and endure the baby shower. It seems like a small price to pay if you genuinely care about being in the child’s life. There will probably be many other ridiculous events around the child that you will attend if you want to be involved. Doesn’t sound like you are off to a great start with your commitment.

Its really difficult, even though I know it is not anybody's fault but my brother's, He literally has done unforgiveable things. Its difficult

If you want to be involved with the nephew you need to make an effort with the Mum. You could always say you’re busy in this date but would love to catch up for coffee another time.

I have already been cut off from my niece (the child he had from one night stand)

What does this have to do with the baby shower though?

I suppose I am just worried the same thing will happen again, getting my kids involved with something for it to be just taken away. We are already in a Whatsapp group that she leaves at least once a week when he has been out. I just dont know if I can be bothered with it all

Totally fine not to go to the baby shower. If you want to be massively involved with your nephew, and to get the know the mum better, you will need to make some effort towards that. If the baby shower isn’t for you, maybe tell her you’re busy that date but would love to take her for lunch the week after?