Paranoid about class WhatsApp group

[Pearbiscuit]

There’s a class WhatsApp group for my son’s reception class. It’s only a small class (17 kids).

I am really paranoid, whenever I post anything it doesn’t receive any responses, but as soon as someone else posts something, straight after or about a similar thing, they get replies. Even just the thumbs up or heart acknowledgment on their post, I didn’t even get that.

I’m now thinking is it me that’s the problem or is it my son? He’s got currently undiagnosed SEN (probable ASD/ADHD). He’s not violent or nasty , he’s been invited to all the birthday parties so far. He seems to have friends, so I don’t understand it.
He can be a bit silly and I’ve been spoken to about him disrupting the class at times, during carpet time and so on, but the staff are working on this.

My other thought is that maybe it’s me? I’ve had this happen to me in my life previously, I’ve been ghosted by people I thought were my friends.

I do suffer with anxiety and am waiting for my own ADHD assessment, but I try and be pleasant with everyone and smile/ make some general chat.

Am I being overly paranoid or am I right to feel this way? Even just an acknowledgment like other people seem to get, a thumbs up 👍 on their post. I don’t understand.

I feel like this sometimes on what’s app groups but I put it down to RSD which is common with people with ADHD.

They are probably just a bunch of cunts, I wouldn't worry about it. I've never been on a class WhatsApp group, couldn't think of anything worse 😂

Let's say you and another parent post the same type of thing.
The other parent may be getting a "thanks" thumbs up because either that person is their friend OR they actually had forgotten about the thing.
You might not be getting a "thanks" thumbs up because no one had forgotten about that thing.
Try and make a friend with a parent in the class. Find out if there is anyone your child plays with more regularly, and who has an approachable parent (someone you see and do "the nod" to regularly enough) and invite them to hang out at the park after school. If they say no, don't take it personally - people are time poor and lives are busy - it's almost never a you problem.

But to add - it's always useful to have one friendly parent to talk to when anything happens in the class. The class whatsapp group is rarely the place. Ours is all just PTA annoucements.

So in my son's class whatsapp group, anyone and everyone reminds the class of stuff.

My friend's child goes to different school. She said her school have class reps and they are the only ones 'allowed' to post reminders.

I would go a bit quiet and look for trends.

It is tough, the world of the school gate, especially when you have a child who is neurodiverse.

I sometimes think this comes down to self esteem

In the past, I would have agonised over this stuff, so I feel your pain

But now, I can honestly say I probably wouldn't even notice if someone thanked / liked a post

So, I'd suggest working on things you're good at, or make you feel positive. And confidence will grow

They are probably just a bunch of cunts, I wouldn't worry about it.

😂

This used to happen to me, OP. It was really odd. I'd post something, it would be ignored, later someone else would post the exact same thing and everyone would start responding. I had a couple of good friends in the class and we ended up thinking it was incredibly funny. I'd post on the class WhatsApp group, nobody would reply, and they'd- privately - send me gifs of tumbleweed. No idea why to this day.

Funnily enough I feel exactly the same about the WI whatsapp group I just joined. and they are all 60+ It's so weird. Favourites even on whatsapp.

You sound a bit like me.

During the parents induction day before my DD started in reception there was a loud and confident mum who announced she was creating a WhatsApp group and anybody wanting to join should come over and give their numbers.

I couldn't get out of there quick enough though. I have no time for something that would only serve to exacerbate existing school gate anxiety.

I’m horrible - I refused to join the main WhatsApp group and had pitying ‘oh yeah you wouldn’t have heard it was on the group’ etc etc.

I set my own up with the nice mums and it’s now morphed into the main one, but I’m admin and wont add the nasty cliquey mums 😂

Do you join in and respond, banter etc? It is all about reciprocating… but also, who gives a sh.. these people don’t have to be your friends, you have a life, and it is just a school what’s app group

You are my people! It doesn't stop at the school gates either. I was added to one with people from work around 9 months ago. This chat was started a few years ago, and i have been there 10+years. I am friends with everyone and have heard them talking about it. I left that chat as soon as i saw i was added. Someone had the audacity to ask why i left. Mate, you've been chatting bubbles on there since 2013 and added me only now in 2023. You don't get to pick when i qualify to be a part of your club. No thanks.

The look on their face 🤭 im not even sorry