To ask what you do with your kids during half term?

[cpeacock]

Almost 39 weeks pregnant and my 4 year old is on half term. I'm finding it really hard at the minute.

I know I need to just get on with it but I'm struggling so much, my body and bump is aching unbelievably and I'm drained from constantly having to entertain him and do activities out of the house.

He's autistic which brings its own challenges in its own right. He used to be happy playing and entertaining himself alone, but lately he constantly wants my input and his current fixation is car journeys. He will ask for this until I give in and has meltdowns over it.

Yesterday, we went for lunch, visited family and went to the park. Today we have been shopping and the park again. Tomorrow we are going out for lunch again with grandparents then soft play in the afternoon. Thursday we are going to a sensory play session.

It's so so hard right now I can't even explain. I wish I had my DH to help but paternity leave/AL starts next week. He can't take any other leave right now. Grandparents will be helping next week when the new baby comes so I don't expect any help from them either.

Do other people do activities most days in the holidays with their kids? I feel like I'm doing too much and my body is just crying out for a rest 😔

God no, I don’t do activities every day with mine, I never have. You’re 39 weeks pregnant, do make sure you rest. A couple of days in front of the TV or an art set is not going to harm him! A bit of ‘boredom’ is good for children. Even on lazy days we do a walk to break up the day in between a film or some TV and some art. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Also if his fixation is car journies could you just do a few drives? Not to anywhere and I know it isn’t relaxing but maybe just a drive around for half an hour?

Will he have any iPad time?

the more you do and give a child, the more they expect.

its not reasonable to expect to go somewhere everyday, I would try to get him used to not having constant entertainment.

@35965a I feel so guilty though when he watches too much TV. And sometimes it can overstimulate him if you know what I mean. It can really affect his behaviour.

I'd love to take him on more car journeys but we're in the car a lot as it is and it costs a fortune in fuel!

I tend to have activities planned every day in half term, my dcs respond best to lots of stimulation and there are always places to visit that we don't get a chance to go to during term time as they have weekend activities.

My autistic ds used to go to a play scheme for disabled children during school holidays. Does your local council offer short breaks for disabled children?

This is so strange, your position was exactly me this time ten years ago. Except my reception child was just 5.

We went to the cinema, I remember, to see the Lego movie. There might be something similar on? Also we went to the park in the rain, and had play dates.

It was my only week off work before having dc2 on the Sunday at end of half term too - and it was half term! Really should have taken a week to myself as I was exhausted in that pregnancy.

Try to get some rest if you can.

I did too when mine were tiny like this.

Sounds like you are doing a lot? I’m a lone parent to 4 and definitely don’t take my kids out every day! Half term is an excuse for some lazy days in my house.

I could try the cinema. Although not sure how he would manage that as we have never been before. I suppose it can do no harm to try.

You're 39 weeks pregnant and looking after an autistic 4yo - cut yourself some slack

Not helpful for this half term but does he tolerate holiday clubs or have a childminder that he used to attend who might take him for a day or two in the holidays?

My children are a bit older and I'm not pregnant never again so DH and I are sharing the time off work with them this week. We have done / will do:
Indoor play (giant warehouse full of inflatables)
Local farm
Swimming
Cinema

There's more indoor stuff than I would have liked but indoor play and cinema are both when it's rained loads (or forecast to rain loads) and they are at least outside the house.

It's hard to entertain them when you have limited energy and/or money when the weather isn't great.

Oh and could you take the bus somewhere? Most 4 year olds seem to LOVE getting the bus. Might distract him from constantly asking you to drive somewhere in the car!

How about some simple cooking - caramel bars are super easy - 100g marshmallows, 100g butter, 100g toffees - melt them all and mix in with 200g rice crispies.

if you are feeling ambitious, you could try marshmallow and cocktail stick structures first before melting them all down into the recipe.

I think in general, I don't get this utter obsession of keeping children entertained every single minute. Why the need to go to soft play too if he is seeing GP's? Why the need to fill up the day. Children need to be bored too. When I was heavily pregnant, my ds was just turned 5 and we literally did not much. It's one half term out of his entire life. You are going to get a sharp shock when the baby arrives and you realise you just won't have the time to entertain him all the time and he won't even know how to do it because he's been entertained!

At 39 weeks pregnant there wouldn't have been a lot of activities going on at all. There would have been a lot of Cbeebies. (I actually had DD2 at 38 weeks but with DD1 who was born at 40 weeks, I know almost all activity had stopped by 38 weeks and I did a lot of just sitting down).

You're about to have a second baby. It's ok for your toddler to have TV time and just spread their toys around the house for a week or so.

When not heavily pregnant or in post partum recovery, our normal routine was to go out every morning and have a chilled afternoon at home.

There's quite a bit of going out for lunch which I always find stressful with my two (youngest is 3, oldest being assessed for ASD & ADHD). Your son might be more manageable at cafes?!

Yes sorry that's what I meant, we go to a supermarket cafe

My daughter is autistic and, lovely as she is, time with her is always intense and exhausting, let alone at 39 weeks pregnant! Can you put him in a club for a day? Mine always has at least some of the week in the holiday club at her school. Otherwise it is just too much. She cannot entertain herself/ will not sit still to watch TV, and it is quite a different matter to having an NT child.

This half term is the absolute worst. My two got chucked in the garden even though it was muddy because they were doing my head in and dealing with the mud was easier.

At 39 weeks pregnant, I would just deploy the IPad if they won't play on their own. I had similar with my own ds 4 at the October half term before the little one was born. It was a nightmare, I hated being PG and having a new born was just so much easier!

Not much but I struggled with feeling pressure to fill the days too.

Also dealing with ASD, so it means only certain places are acceptable without stress. Supermarket being one. That's a trip out for us. Just a drive in the car would be ok if that's what they want...

It's hard to accept that staying in and watching TV and doing nothing much during half term is, in fact, fine.
When I think back to when I was young my mum NEVER took me out anywhere (other than the shops) during half term. A cinema trip was maybe an annual treat. I have survived in to adult hood mentally intact and unharmed 🙂

We are so used to entertaining our kids nowadays and pressuring ourselves to do stuff because we see others doing stuff online/social media.

Well I don't think what we did in our half term (which was last week here) will be relevant or helpful to someone who is 39 weeks pregnant.

Pare it all back and do the bare minimum, you are about to have a baby!!!

A walk to the shops or a run around the local park is fine. You don't have to do anything too taxing (although I appreciate some children do need lots of outside time / activities / supervision especially if they are neurodivergent)

edited as I have just re-read your OP and seen this

Yesterday, we went for lunch, visited family and went to the park. Today we have been shopping and the park again. Tomorrow we are going out for lunch again with grandparents then soft play in the afternoon. Thursday we are going to a sensory play session

This is an insane amount of activity for someone who is heavily pregnant and just wants to rest!

This is more than enough so stop feeling guilty.

Local football camps with other kids the same age. It wears them out and they have lots of fun.

And it gives me peace and quiet to work or do whatever I need to do.

We do something outside of the house every day, park, supermarket, library, free museum, NT property, soft play - nothing too exciting! At home we play, cook, crafts. BUT I’m not 39 weeks pregnant. I remembering playing a lot of doctors at this stage - mostly involving me laying on the sofa while DD1 performed imaginary c sections on me. At this point whatever is easiest for you.

Bless you! You’re doing absolutely loads. A few hours of TV across the course of the day isn’t going to hurt him, and now is not the time for you to feel guilty about that. You’re 39 weeks pregnant OP! Will he sit and do low energy things like cooking, sorting activities, baking, reading, crafts, painting, puzzles, board games with you? Riding his bike in the garden? Maybe your DH could set up an assault course in the garden - just with household things like brooms and things, before he goes to work?

I’m also pregnant and have a poorly one year old who I’m finding so tough to entertain during half term (teacher, so I have all the parental responsibilities every school hols). I can’t mix with anyone or go to any playgroups/soft play because she’s ill. All of my visitors have, understandably, cancelled 😭

Do you have any friends or neighbours with similar age kids who could help you out for even a mini play date kind of thing - just taking him for half an hour or an hour? Surely most people would take pity on a 39 week pregnant mum and agree to that if asked!

Not pregnant and son is 5 but we went to soft play, the local air museum, another free museum then lunch and park, a trampolining place and then soft play again! Anything to wear him out! Oh and library and tv!