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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being controlling or?

3 replies

Asyouwere09 · 20/02/2024 13:13

Partner and I have been together a while now. When we first met he was into the odd coke fuelled session (followed by the standard sleep the day away type behaviour) which I said I was just not into. To his credit he's nipped it in the bud. However I've long thought and said that I think he drinks too much. I'd say 3-4x a week most weeks (not saying I don't because I do) but I genuinely believe he struggles with this and has even said life isn't as good without it. The other night he went to the pub at 5pm, didn't come home until 3am...and this was on a Sunday (when we have work the next day!). I didn't pick a fight but just thought why on a Sunday does this need to be happening and said so. He'd also drank on the friday and saturday and i just feel its all too much. Plus the mate he had the sunday drink with is IMO an absolute waste of space and a massive cokehead. Am I being controlling here? I just want my partner to be healthier and not seek out alcohol so much to make him happy etc. We are mid 30s.

OP posts:
HotChocWine · 20/02/2024 13:28

You want to change him
You met him and he was a cokehead and a drinker. He's given up the coke, and you expect him to give up drinking too

This relationship is doomed

mrsjareth · 20/02/2024 13:30

I wouldn't say you're being controlling but at the same time, you did know what he was like when you started seeing him. You can't change people, and you shouldn't have to. But it sounds like he has a very addictive personality so I don't think this is something that will change personally. You're fighting a losing battle imo.

Ace56 · 20/02/2024 13:31

He sounds very immature. Do you have kids together? If not, please don’t.

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