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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still be irritated with my friend

7 replies

pussinboots61 · 20/02/2024 12:56

After the meal fiasco, this awkward friend has come up trumps again.

On Sunday I had no plans, which is unusual for me. I decided to walk down to the local park and have a coffee in the cafe there. I just mentioned this to my friend in a text as we do swap chats about what we've done during the day. She replied to say that it's a pity I preferred to be on my own on Sunday rather than meet her.

This comment took me aback as she always says she prefers to stay at home at weekends and catch up on housework, though she doesn't work and has all week to do that. Whereas I work full time and weekends are usually the only time I am available apart from when I am on leave.

When we do discuss meeting up, I suggest a weekend and she rebuffs it and says she'd rather wait till I'm on leave and can meet her in the week. In October we had a day in York and she wanted the week then but I told her I had got no leave planned so it would have to be the weekend. We arranged it for a Sunday as I thought it wouldn't be too busy for her but York was quite busy that day so she complained all the time about it being too packed!

I have replied to her text to tell her that she always makes it clear she doesn't like meeting at weekends so I never considered meeting up with her. She hasn't replied as yet. She is only meeting us all for the meal on a Saturday because my friend who is organising it told her it would have to be then as me and another friend who is going work so she had to accept it if she wanted to go.

Sorry, I just wanted to vent again, it does make me feel better and I get some helpful replies on here.

OP posts:
User19798 · 20/02/2024 13:18

She annoys you and you have nothing in common, what's the point of the friendship?

GalileoHumpkins · 20/02/2024 13:20

Friendships aren't meant to be hard work, they're meant to add something to your life other than irritation.
Maybe you've just outgrown each other and you should stop making the effort.

MumMumMumMumMumMumMum · 20/02/2024 13:22

Why do you bother?

DifferentAlgebra · 20/02/2024 13:25

If memory serves, this is the friend who tries to insist on all meals or meets being early as she refuses to leave the house after dark? If so, you seem to be in a permanent state of high irritation with this friend (and she with you, possibly?) Why not just stop contact for a bit, stop the sniping about arrangements and availability, and think about whether this friendship has outlived whatever affection or respect you had for one another in the past?

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 20/02/2024 13:26

What's the point in the friendship? Sounds like all your getting from this is being irrated by her.

MissSookieStackhouse · 20/02/2024 13:28

You’ve already answered what I would have said, so no need to overthink it. See what she replies then go from there. She sounds like hard work - is the friendship worth bothering with?

Beautiful3 · 20/02/2024 14:55

I'd test her. Message her saying, "I'm going to the park on Saturday at x time. Come if you fancy it." See what she says. Bet she can't make it, like every other time.

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