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Lies being spread about me

2 replies

Rumors1 · 20/02/2024 09:05

This is more of a WWYD. I live in a village and am a football coach for teenage girls. I coached with a group of others for years with a head coach, I will call him Mark. About 2 years ago Mark took a dislike to me (because I wanted to play all the girls and not just the strong ones) and "let me go" from the coaching team. I applied last year for head coach with a different group of coaches and got the job. We did very well, got to the final in our league.

I applied again this year and didnt get it and was given a bu**sh1t reason for it.

I found out from a couple of people in the last few weeks that Mark and his wife are spreading lies around the village about me. They are claiming that I was awful with the girls, that I constantly shout at them, that I said really mean things to the girls to knock their confidence and that basically I am not fit to be a coach.
In particular they are telling a story about how I spoke to one of the girls before a match. Some of that story is true but they are twisting it. They are saying I really upset this child and what I said was very inappropriate. I spoke with the child's mother after the match and she was supportive of my talk with her daughter, she actually gave me a hug and thanked me as she said the child needed it. However these two people are telling everyone about this child and making me look very bad. Mark was giving out to others about this child at matches saying she wasnt putting in any effort. That was the issue, but at least I approached the child directly about it rather than gossip about the child like he did.

Some people have come back and told me they are spreading these stories around. I wonder now if it was said to the club and thats why I didnt get the coaching job this year. Mark and the head of the club are very close and she would believe what he said.

My DH is also a coach and they are spreading lies about him too. My DH and Mark coach the same age group. Mark wanted to split the boys by ability and take the strong boys for himself and let my DH coach the weaker ones. His decision backfired on him (complaints from parents) and I have heard back that he and his wife are telling people that my DH is to blame for the mess and that it was his fault.

DH wants to just ignore it. They are so toxic :(

OP posts:
Blakessevenrideagain · 20/02/2024 09:37

Football seems to bring out the twat in a lot of coaches!
Unless it's academy attached to big clubs, and trials based on ability and all players pay equal subs, all should play regardless of ability.
I've no advice apart from legal route to stop them but solidarity and keep including everyone. Coaches like you are needed!

zingally · 20/02/2024 09:54

Every time you hear a lie/rumour, I'd just give a shrug and a "Yeah, Mark has got completely the wrong end of the stick there. I don't/wouldn't pay much attention to him, personally."

People love a bit of rumour spreading/gossip, when they see its having an impact. If you become unresponsive and uncaring, they'll get bored. AND your response will get back to Mark.

If these multitude of clubs and coaches don't want you, their loss. And what's to stop you setting up your own team? Especially if you've got a track record of success?

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